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Committment issues?

  • 21-06-2009 05:11PM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭


    Ok so... I'm wondering if people would maybe be able to help me figure out a certain issue I have.

    My friends always joke about it... and I sort of have to but it's getting really bad. I seem to have some form of committment issues.

    This has happened quite a few times, but I'll sum it up in a quick example. I start to like a guy...he sort of starts to like me to. We'll talk, see eachother when we're out with friends and stuff. But literally THE SECOND he starts to be obviously more nice, I almost get a sick feeling and I run a mile. I barely want to see him or talk to him. THen we'll stop talking. A few months later, he's moved on and met someone else...and I wish I was that someone else.

    It makes me look like a whore and a bitch. And honestly, I'm not like that. It's not like I'd be all over these guys and just wanting the chase because that's never my intention.

    I don't know why I do this. I've never had any real proper relationships that were so bad they turned me off anything. My parents relationship is OK but it'd hardly be perfect.

    I just want to stop being so hot and cold but I don't do it on purpose. Feelings are feelings and I can't seem to control them,

    I'd really really appreciate anyones advice, insight, questions, etc.

    Thanks,


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I don't think this is really a commitment issue. But it is a common problem with girls/women.

    Everybody loves a bit of a chase of course, but if you find yourself doing this alot it could be self-esteem. You subconsciously think that if the guy was really hot he wouldn't be running after YOU, so you judge him for thinking highly of you and dump him.

    And your trash is someone else's treasure. I've done it a zillion times myself.

    Unlessssss.... perhaps you rejected him for the right reason and now you only THINK he's hot because some else has him?

    ...self-esteem issues.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    See I can't actually ever find a reason why I turn off them. I just get really freaked out.

    Without sounding like a moan, I don't really see someone that makes me stand out from someone else, but would you not think I'd be flattered then if someone actually found soemthing??

    I dunno, I just think it makes me look pretty bad as a person.

    It's a common joke in my group that if anyone finds out a guy I like, likes me, they'll go "so you don't like him anymore yea?"


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