Problem with a colleague

kevinkevin

Hi.

On Saturday I had a mishap with a colleague. I won't say any names. But I was doing what was said to do, and my colleague came out of the warehouse and asked me whether I knew who placed a box of cups on her pallet of bedding. The way she expressed was rather rude and although she never said so, she was trying to elaborate it was me. She was also quite angry when she walked out of the warehouse. I replied with "It wasn't me". Then she got very angry with a red face "I'm not accusing you". I said "No you never accused my verbally, but the way you asked me whether I knew who put the box of cups on the pallet sounded like you were accusing me." Then very rudely she said "Don't Kevin..." as she didn't want me to reply. I said, exactly the same, "Don't [her name]...". That carried on and she walked off.

When I went back into the warehouse, not knowing she was there, she was crying and shouted at me "I want an apology". I replied "An apology? I haven't done anything wrong.". She said "You've upset me". I said "No, you've upset me".

I've had the feeling that she hates me for weeks. She's in her early 50's and I don't think she likes young people although that may not be the problem. She makes conversation with another colleague my age but will not make conversation to me. I've tried to make conversation with her but she's very rude to me. If there's something wrong on a shelf, something that shouldn't be there, she always asks me whether I knew anything about it. She doesn't ask anyone else. Obviously trying to bully me.

I've had a few mishaps with her before but this was the worst. Neither of the mishaps have started on my behalf.

I was then confronted by my manager, while I was crying, and took me into his office. Explained what she told him. He said that he doesn't want any bickering going on in a working environment and that if you have any problems, go straight to him or another manager. I told him that she's bullying me but then he asked me to apologize to her.

That brings me to why I'm here. Should I be apologizing to her for something I never started? Should I go to citizen's advice bureau and make a complaint?

Thanks for reading.

Crotchety

You could say but not with any real meaning.

FruitLover

It sounds like you're both as childish as each other.

marbar

no i wouldn't be appologising. doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. dunno about going to any advice bureau, not unless they say you're sacked if you don't appologise
you didn't do anything wrong
if it is an aul one though and she's a bit emotional, it might be easier to appologies, get it out of the way, and ignore her from then on in. ignoring people is easier than fighting with them

am i bovvered

Hi Kevin, its a difficult situation, for what it is worth I would apologise for the mis-understanding, explain that you have felt that she has had a problem with you for a while and whether right or wrong you would like to draw a line under the whole thing. Then keep a polite distance. In time she will show her true colours.

Suaimhneach

Apologise for her misunderstanding what you said, but not for what you actually said, maybe?

If you need this job best just to deal with what you can and try to stay positive. Maybe asked to be moved out of this particular area where you might not have to work with her as much.