Not happy with my lot

LegacyUser

I've recently come to realise that I seem to always want what I can't have...and when I have it, I'm not bothered with it?

When I was younger and liked a guy, I'd be head over heels about him but when something then happened with him, I'd lose interest. It frustrated me and I wondered did I just like the chase...although I was never really one to chase. It would be just by chance something would happen. Later in life, a couple of times I was with guys and continued liking them after something happened so figured it had been immaturity when I was younger

I was in a long term relationship. I'd have niggling doubts about how much I loved him and often wished to be on my own. We broke up but I of course was absolutely miserable, I missed him, I was heartbroken...! We got back together a while back and it felt great. I was so happy, felt giddy in love...but now its gone back to being quite "blah" about the situation.

When thinking about it all, I realise I do that kind of thing with so much in my life. Like say if I see a pair of runners I want, I almost become obsessed with wanting to buy it. Often I'd impulse buy, sometimes I try to wait to see if I really want it but inevitably end up buying it. A few weeks later, I'm over it and probably looking for something else.

I've suffered depression on and off during my life and I wonder could this be sparking it. Never content with what I have. It's not a good way to be at all but I don't know what the first step could possibly be to sort this out. Anyone else been in a similar situation?

Kevster

I have been in a similar frame of mind for many years now, but am recently coming out of it. I believe that it stems from an unhappiness with what you've got. Okay, that's obvious, but hear me out: If you think about it, you actually probably have a lot of things going for you right now, yes?; and you are probably in a better position than many millions of others? As such, try as best as you can to be content with your current life.

It is also about getting to know yourself first too. I mean, what is the common theme in your post? - it's that you become obsessed somewhat over things in your life. You have to recognise that you behave this way, and then use this knowledge to stop the obsessiveness from occuring in the future. Please look upon the word 'obsessive' here in a different way than it is usually interpreted.

Kevin

LegacyUser

Thanks Kevin.

Yeah I know I am probably so much better off than so many people. I have a secure job, a house etc and so technically am happy with everything I have...I guess that's what's so frustrating.

I could deal with this if it was just objects but the fact it could now hugely effect my OH is what's bothering me. It's not fair if this starts to effect other people.

Kevster

What if I said that you feel this way because you've never actually met the right person (in a relationship sense)? i get the sense that you and he are a distance apart, and that this has been the way for previous partners too. I think that you'll have to change your own philosophy on life a bit too though.