Depression

LegacyUser

Hi, I don't want to give too many details, as it would not be difficult for some members to figure out who I am but...

I have been suffering from depression on and off for a while now.

I lost a job a couple of years ago as a result of it and fell into even deeper depression as a result. I have since returned to college, but felt that I wasn't able to continue some time after xmas. This wasn't due to me not feeling I wasn't good enough to do it or anything, it was just the feeling that... I can't really explain. I am a few years older than the others in my class, which is a small group and I commuted to college from home, so I never mixed too much with them.

I went about seeking help and got some from a student counsellor in college, but I have fallen back into the same worrying patterns again. Not wanting to talk to people and withdrawing myself from friends.

I went to the counsellor a week or two before the exams, thinking I had no chance of passing the year. I just felt that things were coming to a head and that I needed professional help. I was encouraged to go to my lecturers and work something out with them, as time was short. After all, it is only first year. However, I found it very hard to motivate myself to do any study and before the end of exams, I was meant to seek permission to defer some of the subjects until August. I haven't done that and don't know if I will.

I can see where a lot of my problems are and am probably as good as any councillor in pointing them out, but I have a lack of any motivation to do anything. I have been like this for a long time, but it is getting me down much more now because I feel as if I will never change.

I also worry a lot about what some people think of me. I tend not to socialise any more. A lot of it is to do with not having any money, but even if I had, I wouldn't go anywhere in any case.

I suppose I'm mostly down because of my being overweight and how much that has accelerated in the last few years.

There are a lot of other things that are on my mind, but I've gone on enough of a ramble already

I'm not even sure if I'm asking for any advice here. I just wanted to write it out or something.

menta

You need to become excited about life again. Stop looking inward and start looking outward. It isn't a matter of becoming motivated but learning to live again and not just exist.

You have to put yourself lower down the scale and think beyond your own needs and wants. Depression breeds isolation and a desire to personalise everything. It wants you to revert inward. Do not let it. If you work, breathe, live for something higher than yourself, then you win.

LegacyUser

Sorry but that wasn't much help to me. That came out wrong, I didn't mean to be disrespectful.

I'm finding motivation even to do trivial things difficult any more.

I have been living at home with my parents for a long time now and I find that doing so is contributing to my state of mind. I would love to move out, but I have no money at all. At the same time, I don't think that it would solve a lot either.

ray giraffe

Hi OP, I suffer from depression myself. I would say the most important thing for you to do is go to your GP and talk about your depression. Medication is a scary idea at first, but it helps loads of people to get back on their feet, including myself. It may be right for you, but of course a doctor will know best. There is nothing to be ashamed of - about 1 in 10 people suffer from clinical depression at some time in their lives.

You can get great support from the Aware groups around the country - see www.aware.ie

LegacyUser

Unfortunately I don't have a medical card and I left a bill with my GP a couple of years ago. I only realised that it was owed a while after the fact and but I never went back to settle it. Haven't had any income in a long while. Waiting for a cheque from the college for over a month, but there is no sign of it.

kerash

Unregistered wrote: »

Unfortunately I don't have a medical card and I left a bill with my GP a couple of years ago. I only realised that it was owed a while after the fact and but I never went back to settle it. Haven't had any income in a long while. Waiting for a cheque from the college for over a month, but there is no sign of it.

Hi, I'm sorry you're not feeling good.
I'd agree with the poster above about seeing a doctor.
What options might be available to you? Could you borrow money to see the doctor from parents or go to a different doctor maybe?