Rebound

LegacyUser

I somewhat recently finished a 5year relationship. At first I was excited about being single again. I had never slept with anyone bar my ex but have since slept with 3 people, one lasting a couple of months (all of whom I knew beforehand). While it's happening I enjoy myself and am not looking for anything serious but then after a while when it fizzles out or the aftermath I get all down about it. I tend to over examine everything and become, well basically, a bit desperate, although I try not to let this show.

I can look at this sensibly and say I'm just out of a long term relationship and it will pass with time, but it's been almost a year now. I know I must be lonely. I have friends and family around but it's not the same. I've always been a very confident person and I am finding this very hard.


I would appreciate any advice or sharing of similar experiences

VaioCruiser

Honestly - I would say this is just normal life. When you were in the 5 year thing, you were settled and in the cocoon of that relationship. Now you are back into the river of life, where we struggle with finding a mate and bounce around between relationships until we find the right one
It's no fun when a relationship fizzles out. It's quite miserable sometimes. But what is the alternative ? We just have to accept that this is how life is and pick ourselves up and get back in the saddle. Stop beating yourself up. They don't fizzle out because it's your fault. They just weren't the one for you. Take the good and keep it in your memories, forget the disappointments.

All the best !

LegacyUser

Hi OP

Sorry to hear that you are taking this breakup so hard. Obviously if you were together for 5 years you were very much in love and I'm sorry to hear that it ended. Theres not too much detail in your post so its hard to offer advice.

Was the breakup mutual or did he/she breakup with you? If the breakup was difficult or you were very hurt by something your former OH did then the pain you are feeling now could be residual pain that you have not dealt with from the breakup. If the breakup is particularly hard then it can be an awful lot harder to move on.

Also, did you live with this person? If you did, alot of what you are feeling could probably be you missing the driving home to someone after work. This is a tough thing to deal with but I promise it fades with time. If this is the case you should try moving in with some friends of yours. It will help.

MadgeBadge

Hey OP,

I'm in a similar position (in that I'm a year out of a four and half year relationship).

Really, a year isn't that long! Especially if like me you've spent the majority of your adult life in one relationship. And if you thinking about it, you probably spent at least two months in the post break up daze. You're still adjusting to your situation, so give yourself a break. Find out what makes you happy in life and fill your time with it. The ability to be happy alone will make you ten times happier should you find yourself in another relationship.

Well, I think so anyway

LegacyUser

Time! Just give it time. A year isn't all that long and this person was a huge part of your life. You'll know when you are ready for someone new. Don't force it, this will come with time. And when you do feel ready try not to let your previous relationship hold you back. It will be new and scary as hell but you never know, it could be worth it!

Best of luck!