Tired of being the tomboy

LegacyUser

I can only assume that like most personal problems, you think your alone but in actuality its all too common. Im just home from the pub with friends, and not for the first time, not even for the fifth time Ive walked home with negative thoughts on my mind.
Im a single girl in my late 20's. I would love to find someone special to be with but its not happening so I accept that my lot in life for now is to play the part of third wheel to my friends who are already in relationships, which is most of them. Its a little disheartening to hear that of my male friends, their girlfriends would prefer me not to be around so much. I feel like I have made attempts to be friends with these women to no avail, I would love to have female friends to talk to but since most of the people I work with are male Im typecast as a tomboy and women dont seem to want to spend any time with me. Its dissapointing that on top of having a circle of friends that are already paired off, Im singled out for being a single woman. Im not interested in taking anyones boyfriend, why are these women treating me like Im some sort of a liability? I feel like Im being ostracised for being single by the girlfriends of my male friends when conversely Id probably have more chances of meeting someone if I wasnt just hanging around with a bunch of men constantly.

AJG

Unregistered wrote: »

I feel like Im being ostracised for being single by the girlfriends of my male friends when conversely Id probably have more chances of meeting someone if I wasnt just hanging around with a bunch of men constantly.

Surely you'd have more chance of hooking up with a man if your hanging around them all the time?

If your so called friends are vibing you then they're not really friends at all. Maybe widen your circle a little bit. Try and hook up with old friends you haven't seen in a while. Give the girls you think are being bitchy to you a wide berth for a while.

username90

Don't take it too personally its obviously just the other girls' insecurities. You could promise and swear blindly that you're not interested in any of your guy friends but unfortunately, very few people believe that men and women can be friends without one of them wantin somethin more

I myself prefer hanging around with boys than girls; I hate all the bitchiness that goes on between females. Havin said that, I am always very weary of girls that my boyfriend is friends with. I'm not mean to them and I would never try to stop my boyfriend from seein them but I would find it somewhat difficult to become friends with them. Not sure why, suppose jus afraid there could be somethin lyin underneath ther/they could make the move, etc.

Try joinin a club/class that will have more girls in it, lik perhaps salsa dancin/yoga/cookery classes?? Then you might find some1 single and you both coud go out on the pull together!! Good luck!!

partyguinness

OP

From what you wrote, I dont see how being single equates to being a "tomboy".

Surely your male friends have single male friends they could try to hook you up with for a few dates?

What do you mean by 'tomboy'? From what I've seen, girls who hang around with guys all the time and join in all the banter usually end up being seen as 'one of the lads' and thus not girlfriend material. I find it much, much easier to be friends with guys as well, but I think it's important to have female friends. You said the girlfriends of your male friends aren't that nice to you but there are loads of other women in the world. Not all of us are bitchy/gossipy/girly etc!

LegacyUser

girls who hang around with guys all the time and join in all the banter usually end up being seen as 'one of the lads' and thus not girlfriend material.

I disagree. I think that if the situations were reversed, a (straight) guy with lots of girl friends would not be seen as a prospective partner, but a girl that likes heading to soccer / rally stages / action movies / the pub for a pint / would be seen as quite the catch and half of them would want to get with that I am a guy btw.

I can understand why the friends girlfriends feel threatened though.