I want to feel special

Elizabeth123

Hi, I am a 25 year old attractive and intelligent woman who cannot find a nice guy. Sometimes I feel that I have been born into the young time period, if that makes any sense. I am a hopeless romantic at heart but for some reason I find it hard for people to get close to me and know the real me. I dunno why this is and its starting to really bother me.

If I was someone who had nothing going for them, was not outgoing etc i would understand but I am passionate of living a good life. I put my heart into my work and although I love what I do I know that its not good, I need another part of my life. A person who I can laugh with and remember thingsd with and a guy who makes me feel special and lights me up when he looks at me.

I really think I will neer find this guy, I am looking for someone who does not exist.

What do you think?

AlanSparrowhawk

While I don't believe in soul mates I do believe there are actually people out there that will make you feel the way you're expecting to feel. It just seems it's hard to find them, especially if you're looking in the wrong places or in a position not to accept them when they find you.

I think you kinda have to kiss a few frogs before you find a prince. So at 25, there's no reason to believe the love of your life is behind you rather than in front of you,.

CathyMoran

You have not said where you are looking to find the right man but my guess is that you may be looking in the wrong places - bars and clubs are not the best place to find serious love as it is alll based on physical attraction - join a club in connection with a hobby that interests you and you may find him there?

Also, if you were anything like me you probably had a list of qualities that were essential (for me the guy had to be 6ft +), ditch that list and just stick to the really important ones (such as nice guy etc)...also give guys a chance if they do not seem perfect at first, if that makes any sense.

You are still young - there are lots of potential mates out there for you.

VaioCruiser

Elizabeth123 wrote: »

Hi, I am a 25 year old attractive and intelligent woman who cannot find a nice guy. Sometimes I feel that I have been born into the young time period, if that makes any sense. I am a hopeless romantic at heart but for some reason I find it hard for people to get close to me and know the real me. I dunno why this is and its starting to really bother me.

If I was someone who had nothing going for them, was not outgoing etc i would understand but I am passionate of living a good life. I put my heart into my work and although I love what I do I know that its not good, I need another part of my life. A person who I can laugh with and remember thingsd with and a guy who makes me feel special and lights me up when he looks at me.

I really think I will neer find this guy, I am looking for someone who does not exist.

What do you think?

I hope you will understand that it is hard to contribute something positive to you based only on a short post so don't be cross with me if I am not totally correct ok?

From your post I get the feeling that you may have a somewhat idealised vision of what you view as a romantic relationship imprinted in your brain from early on. If that is the case I feel that this will colour any and every relationship you have. Your mind will always be comparing your current relationship with this romantic model you have and it will ALWAYS come up short. You will always feel that there is another guy out there - the PERFECT guy, who will make you feel like that princess in your dreams. I think that we all have a little of that in our hearts. But we have to adapt that to the way real life is. We have to go deeper into ourselves and into how we see other people and learn to appreciate the flaws in people as well as the perfection.

I also would say that attractive intelligent women with good strong personalities can be very intimidating for men. I am lucky to be similar to you, except a man - however when I was younger I always felt I wasn't good enough for really attractive ladies. You probably need to become more socially active, in outings, clubs, courses, parties etc where unattached people go and let things happen and just enjoy people for what they are.

Best of luck !

hobochris

I think your looking to hard. relax, it'll happen.. when you least expect it.

prinz

No harm at all in being a old fashioned romantic. Just remember that people aren't perfect, and that while no one is ideal, some guys will be close to your ideal, you just haven't found the right one yet. I know my OH is definitely the same, a non-stop romantic.

Just don't lose hope or let it take you over, always be ready and willing to see what your looking for, even in the smallest detail in everyday life.

So Elizabeth, keep an eye out for Mr. Darcy :pac:

Karmafaerie

To be honest, I don't really agree VC.

I don't believe that the OP has a coloured view on romance.
There's nothing wrong with wanting the perfect romantic relationship IMO.

That's what being a romantic is.

EireEV

Hey Elizabeth,

I have to say I'm a bit of an old fashioned Romantic myself - I dream of falling madly in love with somebody, somebody who makes my heart skip a beat everytime I see them - maybe we are one of a kind and just a little bit naive to think the perfect partner exists - on the other hand there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting the perfect love story.

I would be more than happy to bring you out for a bite to eat and a drink - after all we are quite rare

EireEV

CDfm

OP - what are your criteria? Do you have a shopping list?

The reason Im asking is to find out how choosyyou are.

alfaromeo84

I agree with one of the other posters, forget pubs and clubs and such. Decent people do exist out there, i am looking for a down to earth girl, and believe she is there to be found, so don't panic just yet.

Do concentrate on work, but don't let it be what defines you, there is a lot of living out there, so grab an armful, enjoy the experience, and the hope and promise of what it might bring you.

VaioCruiser

Karmafaerie wrote: »

To be honest, I don't really agree VC.

I don't believe that the OP has a coloured view on romance.
There's nothing wrong with wanting the perfect romantic relationship IMO.

That's what being a romantic is.

I disagree. Being romantic does not mean always seeking perfection in love. Being romantic is loving the state of being in love and all the little things that go with it.

There is no such thing as perfection. There is no such thing as the perfect man . . (even me ) There is no such thing as a perfect woman.

The fantasy of perfection is fine, but it is for fantasies and for fantasies alone. Waiting for perfection before entering any relationship is very sadly naive at best, and sentencing herself to permanent disappointment.

parker kent

VaioCruiser wrote: »

I disagree. Being romantic does not mean always seeking perfection in love. Being romantic is loving the state of being in love and all the little things that go with it.

There is no such thing as perfection. There is no such thing as the perfect man . . (even me ) There is no such thing as a perfect woman.

The fantasy of perfection is fine, but it is for fantasies and for fantasies alone. Waiting for perfection before entering any relationship is very sadly naive at best, and sentencing herself to permanent disappointment.

But it is fun to try and make that fantasy real! I see no harm in wanting your life and the person you share that with to be perfect. Also whilst there may not be a "perfect" man or woman, I believe that there is somebody out there that is perfect for everybody.

That might seem like a paradox but what I mean is that there is somebody out there who you think is perfect. You can be aware that she has a grey hair or that if a genie popped out of a bottle you would move her up or down a cup size, but that is just an idealised fantasy. The actual reality of life with her should be perfect for you. It should be true that every man thinks the girl he is with is the most beautiful woman in the world. And same goes for girls views of their other halves. I guess I've grown up with 2 sisters who made me watch a lot of romantic movies so I have become soppy , but I want to find that girl that is my idea of perfection.

So to the OP, there are men out there who want to make a girl feel special! You sound like a great catch so I'm sure your some guys perfect girl!

Elizabeth123

Thanks guys, maybe I am being picky but I think that I am a good catch and when I find someone I like I will give them my all. I think I can be a little hard to approach because I get disappointed with how guys treat me or view me, I am not just something to look at.

Elizabeth123

EireEV wrote: »

Hey Elizabeth,

I have to say I'm a bit of an old fashioned Romantic myself - I dream of falling madly in love with somebody, somebody who makes my heart skip a beat everytime I see them - maybe we are one of a kind and just a little bit naive to think the perfect partner exists - on the other hand there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting the perfect love story.

I would be more than happy to bring you out for a bite to eat and a drink - after all we are quite rare

EireEV

thanks That is very sweet, I think we are rare

MadgeBadge

Elizabeth123 wrote: »

Thanks guys, maybe I am being picky but I think that I am a good catch and when I find someone I like I will give them my all. I think I can be a little hard to approach because I get disappointed with how guys treat me or view me, I am not just something to look at.

Of course you should be picky, surely being picky gives you a better chance of having a successful relationship.

There's nothing wrong with having high standards, you just need to realise that men who meet your criteria will not grow on trees.

You need to be pro-active, patient, and enjoy your life in the mean time.

MadgeBadge

EireEV wrote: »

I would be more than happy to bring you out for a bite to eat and a drink - after all we are quite rare

EireEV

Oh I'm sorry, scrap that patience, I didn't see that bit.

SLUSK

There is great peace in solitude, embrace it. I'm single myself but can't see myself in a relationship for quite some time. My friends who have girlfriends seem all miserable. Do you think you will be happier with a boyfriend?