Really low

LegacyUser

long story short...went out with a guy for 9 months who basically turned around and told me he cared more about himself than me...it was a long distance relationship...i did the all the travelling..the running...he never took me out was mean with his time and money..my birthday he got me a dressing gown size xl im size 8(dropped a size going out with him with stress)...and told me to return it myself..day of my birthday he arrived to my house one of the rare times...hands hanging...he told me endless white lies which he tripped himself up on and i ignored them...he told me he could never go on holidays with me...that he has never spent more than two days with a girl..he is 35.....i could go on forever and its all examples of how badly he treated me and yes i left him...its finished two weeks now and im still crying..i have cut myself off from family and friends...i miss him even though i cant think of one nice thing he did for me...im 36 all my friends are in relationships and i feel totally lost and mad at myself for allowing him to treat me the way he did over and over..and i wouldnt mind i walked away in march only to go back for more...and no i never saw wedding bells with him and i dont have a biological clock ticking i suppose im upset because he was better than nothing in a world of couples...

LegacyUser

I've been having the same discussion with myself all week. I was going out with somebody who wasnt nasty but just wasnt anything special to me. But I still miss the fact that I'm not in a couple & getting attention from a man. I had to stop myself contacting him today so I know exactly what you're saying. But I know I would only be fooling myself by going back there again and so would you. Theres just no point..you werent happy in that relationship and you're better out of it, even if you are on your own. Take some time out and then in time hopefully you'll meet somebody who's right for you (that's what I'm hoping for me too!)

Liam Byrne

Unregistered wrote: »

i suppose im upset because he was better than nothing in a world of couples...

He wasn't.

Yes, it's tough to let anything go, but try to enjoy your time alone (it'll be a lot more fun than the so-called "relationship" as described above) and when you meet someone who treats you decently you'll wonder how the hell you put up with the above!

Best of luck!

And BTW, the world isn't full of couples either, unless we're the only two on the sidelines!

Oh The Humanity

With respect Sunflower 'girlfriends' in your mid thirties become names in your phone or a 'concept' due to the fact they are all married and raising kids, rather than actual flesh and blood people to go out to the pub with. Sad but true.

So all those months you were with said loser you could have been out with your girlfriends hitting the town and meeting loads of decent guys.

The reality of a single social life for a woman in her thirties is often a round of christenings/friends kids parties/maybe an odd monthly early bird with the 'old gang' where everyone drives and goes home at 9.30.

Almost all social occasions you go to are a plethora of couples and it is boring, wearing and not much fun.

I made myself voluntarily single in my thirties because I am a firm believer in its better to be happy single than miserable in a relationship. And yes its true, but Irish society still sees a single woman in her thirties as something slightly suspect.

Everyone will assume you are desperate and that you are ruled by your biological clock whether its true or not.

Just saying its easier said than done to get out on the town when theres no one available.

So having said that I can only advise you to do as I did. I made a lot of younger friends who are still at the stage where they want to go out and socialise and have fun and they dont just talk about babies and money all the time.

So that way I mey my current partner and I am much happier now.

Forget this loser and make it your business to make some new friends and do fun stuff that YOU like. Not just sitting bored at yet another barbeque with the nephews and nieces!

Oh The Humanity

sunflower27 wrote: »

Really? As a woman in her mid-30s, I dont feel that at all! Maybe I am just blessed to have friends my age that like to go out and socialise with me even though they have boyfriends, husbands etc.

You are indeed blessed! None of my old friends ever come out, Ive given up on them.

sunflower27 wrote: »

I'd always presumed my situ to be the norm.

I wish!!!

sunflower27 wrote: »

Admittedly some of the work people I go out with maybe 5 years younger or a bit more, but not a huge gap that anyone would even notice.

Well its not so much the age but more the fact that people 5 years younger can go out!

sunflower27 wrote: »

I also have a group that are at least 5-10 years older.

Not so tied down with kids! Good plan!