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Flat Chest....

  • 18-06-2009 09:15PM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭


    This might sound really petty, but I am have small tits, and its really getting me down.

    Its affecting relationships, as I don't want anyone to see me naked. I wear padded bras, so its fine when I'm dressed, but when it comes to taking my clothes off, I feel like a fraud, and embarrassed.

    It doesn't help that the Media is filled with images of large breasted women, and the perceived wisdom is that men prefer large breasts.

    It sounds unbelievably sad that something like having small tits is taking over my life, but it is.

    Has anyone been in a similar situation, or have any advice/ wisdom to offer me? I'm getting desperate.


«1

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 78,772 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    ... the perceived wisdom is that men prefer large breasts.
    No quite. Some men like large breasts, some small, some medium. Most men like breasts and are simply greatful to see / touch them, whatever the size, shape, balance, colour, etc.

    Lets face it, when you turn 50, do you want to be able to tuck your breasts under your arm? Enevitably, large breasts will sag. Personally, I like breasts that / won't sag excessively.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,214 ✭✭✭wylo


    I know this probably wont help but boobs to most fellas are more of a luxury, they really dont get put off by a flat chest as much as you think. I know its easy for me to write this but if you can remind yourself of that it might help.

    Would you consider breast enlargement? An ex of mine has major insecurities for the same reason. She never really told me but hearing from other people later i found out it really brought her down. I could even tell the way she would sort of cover them when in bed etc.

    This girl was perfect and it shocked me to find out this. So maybe surgery is something you should look into.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 149 ✭✭actua11


    perceived wisdom is that men prefer large breasts

    I can't speak for other men but I for one don't have a preference for large breasts. If your concerned as to how people perceive your appearance, relax, you've nothing to worry about. As was said above, some prefare lager, some prefare smaller.

    If it's a case that you just simply no longer feel comfortable in your body or it's affecting you own confidence you can opt for enlargement. You may feel better afterwards but it wouldn't really be necssary


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 773 ✭✭✭Barracudaincork


    OP, like you im what i like to call petite :) I have never found any guy who was bothered by it, in fact the general theme is, they are boobs and im getting to touch them, i dont care about the size.

    I used to be so aware of it too, but i accpeted who i was and even stripped off in front of thousands for the Spencer Tunick instalation last year! and oh my god i saw the condition some larger boobs can get when your older and i was so happy to know that wouldnt happen to me i would of kissed my own boobs with delight (if it was possible to reach those two fried eggs!)

    Seriously try and not worry about it, the best thing about boobs is they come in every different shape, size and colour, yours are unique enjoy them! Oh and let others too ;)


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 5,903 Mod ✭✭✭✭irish_goat


    Small boobs are great and generally mean the girl has a good slim figure too.


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  • Users Awaiting Email Confirmation Posts: 827 ✭✭✭Phlann


    I have never opened a bra and been disappointed.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,597 ✭✭✭WIZE


    boobs are boobs and I luv em


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,053 ✭✭✭✭BostonB


    irish_goat wrote: »
    Small boobs are great.....

    ++1


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,686 ✭✭✭RealistSpy


    Don't worry about it, you are stressing over nothong. Any man that doesn't like you for who you are cab get lost. We are all beautiful in our own special way :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    after reading that i was like...that's definitely my situation also and have thought about raising this issue also. i know how you feel. i am ironing board flat and went to doctor about it. she didnt help at all... i thought i might be deficient in some hormone. i google it regulary...the best scientific explanation i've came to is hypolastic breasts. look into this if interested. i think about it every day when i shower. if i was very slim i might not have such a thing about it, however im about size 12 hips...its just soo frustrating...during the day its grand, i wear padded bras and everythings groovy...when it comes to relationships...im like you too. i cant fill my clothes...when i go out i wear halter neck tops and dresses that cover up breasts or nipples i should say. i can still fit into a trainer bra...AA. im 22...this should be the prime of my life...swimming is frigtening....soo jealous of friends and sisters...ive heard my "friends" bitching about my lack of boobage...it's not just about opinion of others...it's a personal issue i have been concerned about since i was 14.

    so my options:

    1. surgery....i don't believe anyone should go under a knife if there is no serious health problem.

    2. breast pills...im thinking seriously about this..and will go ahead with this..

    3. be happy with it...not gonna happen now

    YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE HUN!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Guys have the same issue with Penis size when in reality most women wouldn't have an issue with how big it is as long as it works. As a guy i couldn't care less how big or small a girls boobs are, actually It's not even something i'd think about when i see a girl i like but if its really affecting your confidence then breast enlargement might be an option but any guy who likes you will just be happy to be in your company.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,353 ✭✭✭✭jimmycrackcorm


    This might sound really petty, but I am have small tits, and its really getting me down.

    More importantly - how are your derriere and legs?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 370 ✭✭Fallen Buckshot


    i hear drinkin beers will up ya bustyness


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,355 ✭✭✭dyl10


    If I was to write down my list of "what I look for in a woman" tits wouldn't be on it. You get what you get with breasts, of course everyone likes them but I've never been turned off by a girl because of her breasts.

    Different men have different taste, but I've honestly never heard of a situation where the size of someones bra was the real breaker in a relationship.
    We all have our own superficial worries, try and control yours.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I am male and prefer smaller breasts. Do fashion models have any problem attracting men?

    The real problem you are having with relationships is the not wanting to be seen naked part. Trust me, that is a far, far greater issue for men than breast size! ;-)

    You will age far more gracefully with what you have.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8 username90


    I used to have the exact same problem when I was younger, everyone around me was getting bigger and bigger, while my sis and mum had good decent size racks. Boys used to call me pancakes and it had me down for a good few years, the first few relationships I was in I wouldn't let my bra be taken off if my top was off too.

    After a while tho, I pretty much forgot about it. They have grown a good bit since my pancake days but I'm still quite small, and honestly I'm glad now. My boyfriend is more of an ass woman so it never bothered him in the slightest, in fact he loves my small boobs. :D Would you consider going on the pill?? I did as a contraceptive and to regulate my periods, and I noticed a huge difference in my boobs as a result!! They became a lot more 'womanly' I suppose you could say, more rounded and now I can see a proper spearation between the two ha!!

    Big boobs are not all that anyway deary, imagine havin all the back pain, not bein able to find your bra size, or find real pretty ones, or lie on your chest with no pain. Funnily enough I wouldn't want any bigger ones then what I have now, and I only just about fill a B cup and I'm a size 12 too!! I actually lik the fact that I don't have to worry if I wear too revealing tops when I go out, nothin I waer could possibly do that!! One of my best friends has big boobs (not abnormally big, maybe a D cup) and she absolutely hates them, lads are constantly callin her names and she always worries about what she wears incase its 2revealing.

    Men are attracted by confidence so as long as you can become comfortable with who you are, small boobs won't matter!!;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 440 ✭✭3qsmavrod5twfe


    It doesn't help that the Media is filled with images of large breasted women, and the perceived wisdom is that men prefer large breasts.

    Aestetically, its not about size it is about proportion. If your proportions are good you have absolutely nothing to worry about. The media (I assume you are speaking about magazines and TV as opposed to radio ;)) tend to focus the stand out characteristic of a person and then audiences tend to focus on this. Larger breasts are a textbook example of this and consequently careers have been built on the size of their chest (Jordan, Jodie Marsh et al.) which again reinforces the stereotype that men only love large breasts.

    Obviously people will also have preferences (personally a nice bum is far more important for me than big boobs) but you shouldn't allow this to bee a negative reflection of you.

    Surgery is a drastic option as there will be upkeep over time and their may be nursing issues if you have or want to have kids, but it is an option.

    Just out of curiousity, waht would you consider your best features to be?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,102 ✭✭✭RossFixxxed


    Look the reality to me is that there are several factors:

    BOOOOOBIES!!!!!!


    Enough said. That's how it works. :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 768 ✭✭✭claiva


    hello op,
    whilst mens tastes differ greatly about what they like and don't like wrt breast size etc, I don't thnk this is going to help you overcome your self esteem issue.

    I know someone who recently went from tiny A cup breasts to B cup breasts with breast augmentation surgery, and although I would have previously been in the "no surgery unless your life depends on it" camp, I have been amazed at how this person's confidence and self esteem has taken a massive leap forwards. She is absolutely delighted with her new breasts. And they are a very normal size and suit her small frame perfectly.

    Perhaps you should look into it.
    Btw, this friend of mine agonised for years before plucking up the courage and now she really wishes she did it years ago.

    Good luck.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP as you can see, for the majority of males this does not matter. As one person above pointed out, you being reluctant to be seen naked in front of a pertner would matter to a guy a lot more. Speaking as a lad, I can honestly confirm that it matters an awful lot less than lots of girls think.

    But then again, it's not just what lads think that matters right? Because that doesn't solve your lack of confidence in a bikini / wearing low cut tops or generally just feeling girly I suppose.

    If it is getting you down that much, you should certainly consider surgery, but you should probably ask yourself of you would really be that much happier after it. We come in all shapes and sizes (I am a lanky bstd :)) and perhaps if you felt more accepting of the hand you were dealt by mother nature you might be happier.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,102 ✭✭✭RossFixxxed


    I think the surgery thing is a leap, you need to weigh up the impact this really will have. Like the above, his friend got a huge boost of confidence, and I've seen this happen. HOWEVER, are you the type of person that will just fixate on something, whatever it may be? If you get your boobs done will your nose/bum/ears/chin/hips/legs be too big/small/fat/skinny?

    It really depends on the person. And with the surgery it needs to be sensible A - > B/C kind of thing. You do NOT want to look in ANY way like Jordan/Jodie I have an IQ of 138 Marsh/etc.

    Most guys I've know are damn overjoyed to get to see them at all and generally wouldn't be in the 'oh they're not big enough, goodbye' category.

    R


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,202 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    I love small boobs.

    Remeber, when women get older those bigger chests will only start to sag and head south...women pay money to have pert and firm breasts like yours...so relax and learn to love your body..with that confidence you will have no problem.

    What age is the OP?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    yup much prefer smaller myself... u shouldnt feel like this!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP, both my sisters have big boobs. I dont.

    I used to feel so left out.

    However we are all in our 30's now and recently when I was changing one of my sisters saw my boobs which are still high and roundy and said jealously 'look at you with the body of a teenager' !!!

    Their boobs are now gone long instead of roundy and instead of the nipples pointing to the front they are pointing at the ground! Wheras I can wear a bikini no problem!

    So think on! So many times I was tempted to get a boob job but reading all about the risks(capsular contracture etc), side effects and the fact you need to get them re-done every 10 years put me off.

    Do some research online of girls who ruined their perfect bodies with scarring, unsymmetrical results, leaking implants etc etc

    Im not saying it all ends up that way but look at the state of posh spice with her hard half grapefruits stuck there under her chin, you could end up like that so be grateful for your natural look.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP I am 27 and I'm a 34AA. It bothered me a lot in my teens when all my friends were getting bigger and bigger in the chest department and all comparing sizes, while I was going nowhere. I did the whole padded bra/chicken fillets thing when I was in my later years in secondary school and for the first couple years of college, but like you I sort of felt like a fraud whenever it got around to taking my bra off with a boy. I considered surgery, but was talked out of it by my mum and sisters, and I'm glad now I didn't go forward.

    I was lucky to go out with a very supportive bf when I was in college. He loved my small boobs and talked me out of wearing the padded bras. I felt much more natural and completely accepted.

    The best advice I can give is just accept yourself for who you are. As a small chested girl, you don't really have to wear a bra if you don't want to, it's easy to get clothes to fit, you don't have guys leering every time you wear something tight or low-cut, and men actually pay attention to other parts of you other than your chest. Think about it - if a man is only interested in you for your boobs, is he someone you'd want to go out with?

    My best friend has a huge rack, she's a 36E, and she hates them. They just droop down when she takes her bra off, they have stretch marks all over the tops, she gets backache, and she gets far too much of the wrong kind of male attention. I wouldn't switch my boobs for hers if you gave me all the tea in China.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Well, I'm a guy and I do prefer larger boobs.

    But I dated a girl back in '06 who had, as you say, small tits and... it didn't matter.

    I did get a surprise the first time I saw her naked, but she had got to the stage where she wasn't bothered about it herself. And it was fine. She was nervous about how I'd react when she left her breasts in the bathroom (her term, which still makes me smile fondly when I think of her). I found her mild nervousness very endearing, to be honest, and that sudden flash of honesty/vulnerabilty made me all the more anxious to make love to her and take care of her.

    In the seven months that we went out, we had two conversations about this because she wanted to know how I felt about this. She knew that my two ex's before her were curvy and she knew that I used to have a crush on Yasmine Bleeth :) from Baywatch so she knew what I preferred. But we talked and she was willing to accept and believe my answer so it never became an issue between us.

    So, I guess, my advice to you is this: before you opt for surgery try hard to modify your own beliefs on this. It is affecting relationships because of how you feel about it. If you could get to a place where you believed it was fine, it probably wouldn't affect relationships anymore.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,247 ✭✭✭✭Eric Cartman


    irish_goat wrote: »
    Small boobs are great and generally mean the girl has a good slim figure too.

    i sense your one who likes size 0 blondes, that kind of thinking creates its own problems,

    boobs are boobs op, everyone loves boobs


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 773 ✭✭✭Barracudaincork


    i sense your one who likes size 0 blondes, that kind of thinking creates its own problems,

    I didnt get that impressive from this comment at all, IMO he was adding in an extra compliment to the OP.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5 megaton


    i like a woman with petite breasts

    men are all different


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi I know where you are coming from, have small boobs too and even though the bf says he loves them, I would like if they were bigger. Personally I think fellas do like big boobs!


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