New sex woes

LegacyUser

So I've been sleeping with new bf for a few weeks now after being together for a few months. Everything is as it should be, hot and fun but I've noticed he's only ejaculated once..

he seems to really enjoy being with me and gets really really into it, but this is making me worried... he seems to get 'there' and stays hard after but i've never experience this before...

advice??/

petes

To be honest it sounds like he hasn't come.

LegacyUser

well thats obviously what I'm thinking.... he seems to really enjoy it so I don't know why, without going into detail, I've done everything that usually works.. and I'm not shy so I haven't be restrained at all!!! It's worrying me though...

I don't know how to bring it up!!

shellyboo

Ask him? If he's not 'getting there', you need to know if there's something you can do to help him get there.

It could be nerves, it could be a usual thing for him, it could be that he needs a certain sort of stimulation that he's shy to ask you for... but the only way you're gonna find out is to talk to him.

Rather than leap in with a "omg are you not having orgasms?!" though, I'd couch it in a conversation about taking your sex life to the next level. As in, "We've been sleeping together a few weeks now, is there anything new you want to try, anything you really enjoy that you'd like me to do?" and in the course of this conversation, slip in that you've noticed what you've noticed.

galwaybob

I reckon he could be a little chemically enhanced, fond of the old vitamin V if ya know what I mean.
The reason why he might be taking some sort of anti impotence drug is simple, you have just started sleeping together then he will want to impress you with his staying power. He will probably pack it in once things get a little more relaxed.

LegacyUser

Maybe it is medication? Like a previous poster it could be Viagra, but it could also be anti-depressants. My OH is on them and finds it hard to come.

I think you should talk to him, there might be an underlying reason.

LegacyUser

he's either whacking himself off way too much, drinking too much beforehand or is taking some sort of libido enhancer which makes it very hard to cum!

I love the assumptions that are being made about him by other posters! Hilarious stuff!


OP, just ask him about it. Make sure you let him know you're open to discuss anything (that doesn't mean you actually have to do anything and everything he asks, but do discuss it). It could be possible he has a little fetish or something to help him out, but is just afraid to mention it. Talk to him about it, but be as comforting as possible.

Everyone has sex sooner or later, some love it, some hate it, but there's still a very sensitive stigma attached to it, so thread carefully and if he says something you're not expecting, try to not to insult him (accidentally or otherwise).

tman

Yep, I love the way some people just jump to assumptions that he's taking viagra or whatever...
I usually go through something similar when I start sleeping with someone new, it takes a few weeks before I'm relaxed enough with them to finish off. Just stick with it, before you know it he'll be blowing his load after a few minutes and you'll be looking back wishfully!;)

wylo

what do you mean when you say he seems to 'get there' ,but doesnt come, as in hes having an orgasm without coming? or that hes getting it up or what?

Ill reckon hes either whacking one out before meeting you, throwing back a Viagra, or has worked on his pc muscle which means he can achieve an orgasm to an extent without actually coming.

The first one would be the most realistic tbh.

SheRa

There's aso another option. If he is wearing a condoms, that could make it hard (no pun intended:o) for him to come, but yet he could still stay hard for ages as he is aroused. I read a thread about this a week or two where a few boardsies said that was the case for them.

LegacyUser

Deleted User wrote: »

I love the assumptions that are being made about him by other posters! Hilarious stuff!.

Ditto.

Delayed ejaculation - look it up on line.

I sound like your fella but I have rarely cum inside a girl - I can **** happily and cum then but for some reason when I'm with a woman, I don't.

It's the journey for me that's very pleasurable - I don't focus on the end result/the orgasm - actually, that's a lie, I do - I focus on the end result of the girl I'm with. For me, it's about pleasuring my partner.... not sure why.

So, maybe at an early stage in proceedings, I'm nearly cumming, but I'll stop myself as that would be too early - then the moment passes and sometimes doesn't come back.

And condoms don't help either - nor does **** everyday....

Imagine your fella pleasuring himself for the last 10 years, nearly everyday - he's developed a certain technique, a certain timing and a certain fantasy/idea to get himself to orgasm...

So I wouldn't worry about it too much if he doesn't... .

LegacyUser

A mate of mine in college was unable to come. This made him constantly horny (which was kind of amusing).

But I hadn't known it was a medical condition until I heard of this guy though. He went to the doc and everything about it. Don't know if he got it sorted in the end.

So your fellah could potentially have a similar affliction. Or he could be on medication. Or he could be nervous. I don't know about the viagra assumptions though.. you still come when you take that don't you? You just maintain the erection afterwards....

My advise is a relaxed, no-pressure chat, as suggested above.

*Page*

My last long term partner was able to have an orgasim w/o ejaculation. The sessions would go on for hours and he would stay hard the whole time. Then he would let himself release or not... sometimes he didnt "like o waste it". It all depended on his mood.

Its not uncommon but if you have serious worries then talk to him. Dont drop it into a conversation just talk open and honestly about it...