Friend so much older than me

LegacyUser

Im 19 years old and work in an accounts department of a large company for the last 2 years. A new girl joined us about 6 months ago and as i was training her we became quite friendly in work. We became friends after a while and usually talk on the phone a few nights a week, go for drinks/meals,cinema and even to each others homes occassionally. The thing is she is 32 and im just 19. Is this not strange for her to want to bother being friends with someone so much younger than herself. She only has about 4 other friends other than me, one of which works with us. I get on great with her and enjoy her company but should I not be spending time with people my own age. Is this odd? Is it common? any comments?

LadyJ

Welcome to the adult world. People have friends of all different ages.

If you get on you get on. That's the point of friendship. Be thankful that you have a good friend.

tallaghtoutlaws

Unregistered wrote: »

Im 19 years old and work in an accounts department of a large company for the last 2 years. A new girl joined us about 6 months ago and as i was training her we became quite friendly in work. We became friends after a while and usually talk on the phone a few nights a week, go for drinks/meals,cinema and even to each others homes occassionally. The thing is she is 32 and im just 19. Is this not strange for her to want to bother being friends with someone so much younger than herself. She only has about 4 other friends other than me, one of which works with us. I get on great with her and enjoy her company but should I not be spending time with people my own age. Is this odd? Is it common? any comments?

Im 30 and have a fair few friends who are between the ages of 18 and 20

Otis Driftwood

Jeebus she is only 32.The day someone 12 or 13 years younger tells me that Im too old to talk to then thats the day I will shut myself away for good.

Ye enjoy eachothers company so whats the problem?

Beruthiel

My friends range from early 20's to 50's.
Makes for an interesting life.

Super-Rush

One of my best mates is 45 and he grew up with my mother, i'm 28 and we have been close friends for the last 9 yrs. He sometimes can't understand some of the things us 'young lads' do, but for the best part there's never been any probs and there shouldn't be.

Firetrap

Don't get up in a heap about it. If you look around, a lot of people have friends of different ages. As an aside, I think it makes life more interesting to have friends in different generations. You can learn an awful lot by listening to them.

LegacyUser

yes i see what you all mean, im not saying that she is too old or anything like that its just the fact that we now spend so much time together going out etc and have got to know each other really well so well that we confide so much in each other about things we wouldnt tell others, I just think sometimes that the fact that my now best friend is so much older than me makes me look too mature and her too immature, she has another friend around my age so why does she get on better with people younger than her. Im sure my parents think its strange and dont like it as they probably feel she had too much life experience compared to me they didnt say as much but one night i was going out for a drink with her and my dad asked me what my other friends my age were doing, so its just little things like that which has me concerned.

LegacyUser

I usually gravitate to people who are younger than me and I dont think it's a sign of immaturity. She is probably just at a different stage in her life than people her own age & isnt ready for the settling down/kids stage that a lot of other 30 year olds are at. If you both get on well I cant see what the problem is. If you are concerned, then maybe dont spend so much time together & make sure you have other friends your own age also.

BumbleB

Unregistered wrote: »

yes i see what you all mean, im not saying that she is too old or anything like that its just the fact that we now spend so much time together going out etc and have got to know each other really well so well that we confide so much in each other about things we wouldnt tell others, I just think sometimes that the fact that my now best friend is so much older than me makes me look too mature and her too immature, she has another friend around my age so why does she get on better with people younger than her. Im sure my parents think its strange and dont like it as they probably feel she had too much life experience compared to me they didnt say as much but one night i was going out for a drink with her and my dad asked me what my other friends my age were doing, so its just little things like that which has me concerned.

If you like going out with her go for it .Don't worry about the ageist attitudes of Irish people .

LadyJ

Unregistered wrote: »

yes i see what you all mean, im not saying that she is too old or anything like that its just the fact that we now spend so much time together going out etc and have got to know each other really well so well that we confide so much in each other about things we wouldnt tell others, I just think sometimes that the fact that my now best friend is so much older than me makes me look too mature and her too immature, she has another friend around my age so why does she get on better with people younger than her. Im sure my parents think its strange and dont like it as they probably feel she had too much life experience compared to me they didnt say as much but one night i was going out for a drink with her and my dad asked me what my other friends my age were doing, so its just little things like that which has me concerned.

The thing is, at 19, a lot of people care how they look or seem to others. At 32, this type of thing has changed for a lot of people. They are more comfortable with who they are and can, therefore, just do what they feel is comfortable to them without really caring about how society might view it.

Your parents may not have adjusted to the fact that you are no longer in school where all your friends are the same age. However, it's time you began to adjust and realise that you are in the adult world where you will meet lots of different kinds of people and making good friends is not as easy as it is when you're in school. Appreciate the friendship. It sounds like a good one.

After all, you can have other friends too. She doesn't have to be the only person you hang out with.

sunnyside

Unregistered wrote: »

Is this odd?

It's not odd because these days there is much less of a divide between activities for young people/old people. I'm not calling her old, I'm almost as old! In your parents day she might have been considered old and would most likely be married with children by 32. Now a lot/most 30 year olds will go to the same places as 19 year olds/wear the same clothes/have similar interests making it normal for someone to get on well with someone much younger/older. Same would apply to age differences in sexual relationships.

Unregistered wrote: »

so why does she get on better with people younger than her. .

Maybe because a lot of women her own age have children and talk non stop about babies/weddings and she doesn't have much in common with them. It's also difficult to find new friends these days so don't be surprised that she doesn't have loads of friends. If you read PI regularly you'll see this problem a lot.

Honestly you have no need to worry, it's not strange and you both sound like nice people. Enjoy.

LegacyUser

this friendship is bound to fade though as you both get older she will obviously settle down first, have kids etc and get serious while you will be still in your twenties and wanting to party and have fun,wouldnt count on a life-long best friends forever situation.
One thing id ask is why a person so young would want to be friends with someone so much older, what do they get out of it? A mother/father figure? someone to talk to? there must be a reason for choosing older friends, any ideas?

LegacyUser

im 40 and went back to university last year to finish my degree, ive made loads of friends on my course who are aged between 19-24 we all get on well but i suppose when college finishes and we go our separate ways we will probably have nothing in common anymore. This is likely to be the same with your friend, as you work together you have alot in common but apart from work id say you have little else, you listen to pink while she listens to wham if you get my meaning , my advice if you want life long friends who will stick with you find people of your own generation.

Darthhoob

it's good to have friends of all different ages. gives you a different view on things at times, and older people 'tend' to be more...life experienced. i have friends younger than me, older than me, same age as me. all different, all good friends and all good advisors...with their different views. long as you get on and enjoy eachothers company it doens't matter what the age is...the whole point of friendship doesn't depend on age x

chuci

wouldn't be too bothered with it myself it's good to have people from different age groups. You can learn from their life experiences etc etc. But seriously just have fun and be glad you have made a new friend.