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Need to know where I stand??

  • 17-06-2009 2:56pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Have been seeing a guy for 18 months( who happens to be my brother in laws brother !). We have been meeting up almost every week end and being fair he text me as much as I text him I feel it it very 50 - 50 in that way.
    For the first while when we were seeing each other we weren't making it public ( due to the family connection) which I had no problem with at the time.last few months it has been more open he has came to a wedding with me and I have gone out with his family and met his friends, he has been up in my family home etc.
    I just feel like I need to know where I stand basically is this going anywhere???!! when I am asked do I have a boyfriend I don't know what to say!
    I am not normally the kind of person who would shy away from a conversation, but he is a very private person, I describe him as a closed book kinda guy when it comes to emotions. It is extremly hard to contemplate having a heart to heart with him and have no Idea of what to say???
    He is 43 i am 33 and just want to know how to approach the "conversation".
    We have a ball together and I am mad about him .. WHAT DO I DO??
    I feel I have been patient enough and given it the time it needed.


Comments

  • #2
    SarahSassy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭SarahSassy


    What do you mean is it going anywhere? Are you talking marriage and kids? After 18 months I think you are well within your rights to ask


  • #3
    Trinity
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,662 ✭✭✭Trinity


    cant add much more to what sarah said other than bite the bullet and have the chat. I personally would've done it sooner but 18 months is not in anyway shape or form too soon, no offence but your not getting any younger :P

    I'm older than you so dont take offence! But would you sit on a train for 18 months if you didnt know where it was going?


  • #4
    SarahSassy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭SarahSassy


    Trinity wrote: »
    But would you sit on a train for 18 months if you didnt know where it was going?

    Funny :D


  • #5
    SarahSassy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭SarahSassy


    Does he live beside you? Why do you only see him once a week? Has he said he loves you or mentioned the future at all? We need more info here.


  • #6
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    SarahSassy wrote: »
    What do you mean is it going anywhere? Are you talking marriage and kids? After 18 months I think you are well within your rights to ask

    Well Not straight away but yea eventually down the line, At the moment I would like to know if we are even in a Relationship? I know sounds so stupid I cant beileve we havent discussed this but its just so hard, build myself up to have the chat and then I can't do it


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  • #7
    Trinity
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,662 ✭✭✭Trinity


    Unregistered wrote: »
    Well Not straight away but yea eventually down the line, At the moment I would like to know if we are even in a Relationship? I know sounds so stupid I cant beileve we havent discussed this but its just so hard, build myself up to have the chat and then I can't do it

    Its not stupid but it sounds like you are letting him call the shots and just following his lead

    are you lacking confidence or afraid of the answer?

    Its scary no-one is taking that away from you, but it really is better done sooner than later

    what about birthdays/xmas, do he get you cards that say girlfriend?

    Do you know if hes seeing other people?

    He wont buy the milk if he can get the cow for free, then again some men will potter along for years so ya have to give em a little push

    Dont be scared, you need to look out for YOU, your wants/needs should be addressed now

    have a glass of wine and bring it casually next time you see him


  • #8
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Well thanks for your help, I guess maybe I am scared of the answer, we have never discussed feelings and as odd as that sounds its just the way it has developed, Christmas and birthdays no we dont give soppy cards, But i do know he definitely not seeing other people. The only thing is to do as you say take the bull by the horns and have a chat.


  • #9
    Trinity
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,662 ✭✭✭Trinity


    Unregistered wrote: »
    Well thanks for your help, I guess maybe I am scared of the answer, we have never discussed feelings and as odd as that sounds its just the way it has developed, Christmas and birthdays no we dont give soppy cards, But i do know he definitely not seeing other people. The only thing is to do as you say take the bull by the horns and have a chat.

    Unfortunately its the only way as if you dont you will be left in limbo for another 18 months cos it doesnt sound like hes the talkative type :P

    I wish you the Best of luck with it, lets know how it goes!


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