I Can't Stand My Father

LegacyUser

I've never had a good relationship with him, even as a child to now Im in my 20's.



As a child I got a belt off him if I was out of order, I was never offered any encouragement from him, only name calling and criticism, I took alot of mental abuse off him and still do, it's like as if he has no respect for me.



I suspect he didnt have the best childhood himself, he's got 3 brothers living about an hour away and their never in contact, i think they had a falling out about years ago over land or something.



He treats my sister a lot differently than me, now and as a child, he'd never call her names and disrespect her the way he does to me, my sister is a few years older than me and used bully me as a child, as an example, she caught me smoking when i was about 8 and blackmailed me and bribed me for about 3 years afterwards knowing that our parents would kill me if they knew i was smoking, id get in trouble then if I told on her, I resent her to this day and we dont speak.



Im back living at home again with my Mother + Father, he's retired, my Mam's still working but he does loads around the house, like cooking, washing up and outdoor chores. Himself and my mother have slept in different rooms for over 5 years now, I dont know why.

Sometimes he calls my mother a fcuking b1tch or something similiar and it makes my blood boil, no man should ever call his wife that, times like this I just feeling like kicking his head in but usually I tell him to shut the fcuk up or whatever but it doesnt work. It seems like there's no talking to him and he shows no respect to those closest to him.



Even our family dog has little confidence because of him, one day the dog might be his best friend, the next he could be cursing the dog and give him a kick.



He's not the most social, theres a few guys he plays golf with but he never goes out for a few pints or anywhere social really.



I dunno do I need help, does he neep help or what, its come to the stage where I could end up knocking him out one of these days but I cant because we're family. Its like he's set in his ways and wont change.



Any opinions/suggestions welcomed,

Thanks for reading.

Puddleduck

You dont have a good relationship with your father. Lots of people dont. It doesnt seem like you want to mend bridges so just leave it be. If possible move out and distance yourself from it.
How he speaks to your mother is between him and her. If asked your opinion, give it. If not then leave it altogether. They are adults. Let them sort it out themselves.

Your father may not be sociable, may be moody, and stubborn. That is who he is. He may never change. You need to learn to accept it rather than fighting against it.

LegacyUser

Sounds like my dad. He probably wont change. Your mother should move out I think, he is disrespecting everyone, dog included. You shouldnt live there either, its a toxic relationship. A bit of distance could help you get a better relationship with him. But if he isnt open to it, even if you tell him how you feel, then try to get on with your life. There are so so many nasty Dads out there, its sad but you have your own life to live and having someone that angry and rude is so bad for your health.

Taltos

Unregistered wrote: »

Sounds like my dad. He probably wont change. Your mother should move out I think, he is disrespecting everyone, dog included. You shouldnt live there either, its a toxic relationship. A bit of distance could help you get a better relationship with him. But if he isnt open to it, even if you tell him how you feel, then try to get on with your life. There are so so many nasty Dads out there, its sad but you have your own life to live and having someone that angry and rude is so bad for your health.

+1

Get out and get your own life together. The longer you stay there the more you will be scarred by it. At the end of the day you can only help yourself and those who want your help...
Sounds like he is perfectly content to be like this.