Casual Relationships

LegacyUser

I have been seeing a guy casually for a year now( not a booty call as I have only slept with him handful of times!not that kinda girl).
At the begining we had a couple of dates, he called out of the blue said he felt we should stay friends..bit surprised but hey was fine at the time. Few weeks later we met up for drinks and it has continued from there, being honest I continued it as I was bored and it suited me at the time.

I have dated other people in between ( as im sure he has?)but when i'm free I tend to end up with him somethimes every week. This has been a year now. I really enjoy his company and am very attracted to him. Stupidly I though I could detatch myself emotionally, but the last while I know I felt something, not sure what but didn't feel I wanted to be in the casual thing for another year. Decided to ask him what he though of the situation and he said he didn't feel we have a future, which was bit ouch but what could I say except lets leave it as Friends. Decided that was IT!

Since then we have yet again ended meeting for coffee and drinks. I am angry at myself for not walking away but it's really hard. we have a laugh and its very realaxed, I guess I know the answer but maybe I am looking for an outsider to tell me to forget it. Maybe being a typical girl here but dont get how he wouldn't give things a go.

Trinity

Ouch!

My best advice here is to walk away if you are getting attached (too late i reckon?)

To be fair to him he has been honest, didnt use you for sex or a booty call as you put it so no point putting the guy down for not wanting a relationship

So do whats right for you, dont hang around waiting on him to change his mind, been there it doesnt always work and all the while you are getting in deeper and deeper

Its a little knock to the aul confidence when someone doesnt want you, but dont lose heart, it happens to us all, i'm sure you have rejected guys in the past too !!

Its hurtful but hes done nothing wrong that i can see so you ask yourself can you continue as you are and if its in your best interest to do so and i think the answer is no

It wont be easy walking away but surround yourself with friends, delete that number and try have a bit of fun

Taltos

Trinity is spot on here.

Really should try to do as they have suggested to you.
The longer you hang in there the more it will hurt in the long run.
Get out of it - and meet some other folk. It is easier I know to stay where you are but you have already said you don't want to lose another year and still be in no-mans land.

Best of luck and sorry.

SarahSassy

Next...

Eve_Dublin

Maybe it's partly a case of you want what you can't have? The fact that he wants to remain friends just makes you want him more? I've no idea...just thought I'd throw that in there because that's what hit me when I read your post. Either way you like the fella...I'd say walk away now while you have your dignity intact. Make life a bit easier for yourself and cut of all contact with him (politely as the guy didn't do anything wrong) and move on before your feelings grow for him. That's all I can advice. Good luck!

LegacyUser

Hey thanks for all your advise, I guess I knew the answer but was having one of those days where it goes round and round in my head!! But I am determined to move on, and be happy without him in my life.

I have deleted his number after the last time, gone as far as burning my Vodafone bills just in case I got weak..( oh what am I like!!) If he texts me I am so determined to stay away, as it is getting harder n harder for me.
it's Just very hard as we socailise in the same town generally ( I do try go elsewhere but hard get friends to go with me) when I am out he always joins me for drink and is all chat and makes a big effort. I feel I have nothing bad to say to him or about him so hard to just ignore him but the friends thing is not gonna work for a while.... I will miss him but if this is all he wants fair enough, thats life n I just have to deal with it end of the day I would never want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me.
Your advise has been a real help honestly, It was good to get an impartial opinion. Thanks!!