Kissed a guy

LegacyUser

Dont know if this is in the right thread but I really, really need some advice…….

I am a 24 year old male. A few months ago I went out drinking with my mates and we all went back to a house party afterwards. We stayed up drinking until 8am. Needless to say I was completely out of it. I was in the hall talking to a guy I didnt know and I dont know what happened but kissed him. I freaked out (at myself) and walked away. I feel ashamed of myself! I’ve had a few girlfriends in the past and don’t know where this came from. I admit to being curious in the past but Im happy with myself as a straight person.

Should I see a doctor or shrink?

LegacyUser

Dont be crazy... im a straight 21 year old male and have kissed several guys in my nights out drinking. Its one of those things that just happens occasionally... when you're drunk you dont have a problem with being overly affectionate, even to the same sex.

LegacyUser

Whoa dude major overreaction, you dont have a disease or somethin!!

So you were a litle curious, big deal. You're obviously slightly attracted to some males and that's not somethin to be ashamed of. If you like women too, evn more maybe, all the better.

Dont stress yourself out thinking there's somethin wrong with you, the majority of people do tend to have these experiences at some stage and it doesn mean there's something wrong with them!! Chill out

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Dont be crazy... im a straight 21 year old male and have kissed several guys in my nights out drinking. Its one of those things that just happens occasionally... when you're drunk you dont have a problem with being overly affectionate, even to the same sex.

eh, a straight guy going around kissing other guys is not normal at all. Im talking about a proper kiss now, as I presume the op is, not a peck on the check. The last thing i would want to do after having a few pints is kiss some guy. So therefore I think you, and the op, should consider your sexuality and if you are actually bi/gay, which is there is nothing wrong with being.

LegacyUser

It's quite common, even for men who would otherwise consider themselves straight. Take a look at this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_Reports

You didn't give any information about the nature of the kiss, but even if it was full-on, it doesn't mean you've suddenly caught "teh gay". I'd take the opportunity to learn from it. Did you enjoy it? Either way, you'll learn something about yourself.

Reflector

Unregistered wrote: »

eh, a straight guy going around kissing other guys is not normal at all. Im talking about a proper kiss now, as I presume the op is, not a peck on the check. The last thing i would want to do after having a few pints is kiss some guy. So therefore I think you, and the op, should consider your sexuality and if you are actually bi/gay, which is there is nothing wrong with being.

As a gay man I firstly want to encourage all of the straight guys on boards to share their gay experiences so that I can read them and go "oh thats nice"

Anyway I don't see any problem with this and to the guy quoted above just because you are not affectionate to members of the same sex doesn't mean that every other straight guy is the same. If I kissed a girl on a drunken night out I wouldn't think twice about it and it certainly wouldn't make me straight. If however I started actively going into bars to hook up with women then I might question my sexuality. Just enjoy your nights out.

wylo

After my friend came out I realised the world of sexuality is far more up in the air than I ever thought it was. Before , for me, it was a label someone needed, either gay, bi or straight.

I am completely straight, I could never ever ever kiss another guy, it would be horrible for me, honestly, drunk of sober it wouldnt cross my mind. Im not a homophobe at all btw.

But on the other hand, ive realised , some gay men would be the same about women, whereas some are more relaxed, and slightly less gay, some straight guys are relaxed too and slightly more gay and would sometimes kiss fellas even though they fancy women more.

So going by my theory, your slightly gay, but mainly straight.

jayteecork

wylo wrote: »

After my friend came out I realised the world of sexuality is far more up in the air than I ever thought it was. Before , for me, it was a label someone needed, either gay, bi or straight.

I am completely straight, I could never ever ever kiss another guy, it would be horrible for me, honestly, drunk of sober it wouldnt cross my mind. Im not a homophobe at all btw.

But on the other hand, ive realised , some gay men would be the same about women, whereas some are more relaxed, and slightly less gay, some straight guys are relaxed too and slightly more gay and would sometimes kiss fellas even though they fancy women more.

So going by my theory, your slightly gay, but mainly straight.

Solid post imo.
:pac:

My name is URL

I'd say you need to take a long hard look at your sexuality tbh.

My friend is gay, and for quite a while before he 'came out' he was in denial even though he had kissed a guy and admitted to liking it at the time. He also admitted to being curious for some time before it happened. It's nothing to be ashamed of, if it turns out that you are gay or bi you should embrace the fact that you are an individual above all else. Don't put a label on yourself

all the best

Rb

Kiss a few more and see how you get on.

Aseth

OP, why are you in such a desperate need for a label? Gay or straight or bi? What does it really matter? How much does it matter to you, OP?
If you freaked out after kissing that guy was because you enjoyed it? Or your first thought was: what would other people think of me? Does it fraighten you that you may not be straigt bu let's say, bi?
In ancient cultures it was quite common to enjoy both male and female company and to have sex with both males and females alike. It was considered completely normal. Our view on the topic comes imho from christian culture we are surrounded by.
If it bothers you - think about it, how you feel about this experience but don't let it bother you too much. Such things happen to straight people as well.

Liam Byrne

wylo wrote: »

So going by my theory, your slightly gay, but mainly straight.

Sounds about right to me. Straight (at least in my head) means that you wouldn't dream of going near someone of the same sex, whatever about what that Kinsey bloke says (in his eyes, I'm some sort of an exception, I guess :rolleyes:, or maybe I'm just a "zero" ). Personally, I'd have legged it as soon as I got an inkling that the other guy was on for it. :P

But as others have said - it happened. You could equally have snogged a girl that you were curious about but didn't fancy while drunk.

wylo wrote: »

I admit to being curious in the past but Im happy with myself as a straight person

Given that you've been curious in the past, it means you're definitely not a Kinsey zero; and the way you phrased that also makes it sound like you made a choice. That's your call. But having previously been "curious", it's hardly THAT much of a shock to you that you "experimented", is it ? If you were NEVER curious, then I'd say something, but if you were and made a choice, then it doesn't sound that odd to slip up while drinking......a bit like getting drunk and ending up with an ex, in a way - you've made a choice but between drink and whatever you bypass that choice.

Either forget about it, write it off as a test (if you're genuinely that disgusted by it, then you now know you're not gay or bi), or else sit back and think about it.

But forget labels; if it obviously didn't make you happy, then don't do it again.

Damo1174

Its funny the first 5 messages are all from anon's and the first 3 were posted within minutes of each other.

chuci

Damo1174 wrote: »

Its funny the first 5 messages are all from anon's and the first 3 were posted within minutes of each other.

hmmmmm very interesting.......op seriously calm down. So what if you are attracted to the other sex big deal nothing wrong with that. Just go out enjoy your nights out and if you find yourself leaning towards men when out. Have a look at your sexuality and a good long think.

LegacyUser

I wouldn't worry about it.

I'm straight and I've never had an experience like this, but my best mate from school is gay and when he came out it opened up a new area of knowledge for a hick like me. Over the years stuff like this has come up in conversation once in a while and I've read a few very interesting books on the matter, too.

As far as I know - from what I've read and heard - it's common for some guys to have bi-curious experiences just like the one you describe.

And there's nothing wrong with you, whether you're straight, gay or have a bi-curious experience. It's all just sexuality and the many facets of it.

The act of the kiss tells you nothing. How you react to it - when you calm down - is a better indicator. Do you want to do it again? Do you not want to do it again? If you can be honest with yourself in answering those questions you'll be a lot wiser.

Again, this is not uncommon. I have one book, by Nancy Friday, which has a whole chapter about stuff like this.