Shyness at work do

LegacyUser

I've started a month in a company and to say I know very few people is an understatement. I have come across as shy and maybe grumpy and I don't know why I haven't made an effort, but that's the way.

I've got a company away day tomorrow and I'm nervous about it big time. I hate these "stand up and introduce yourself" things and I would do anything to get out of it, even though deep down I know not going would be a stupid thing to do. Small talk is very hard for me and I end up sounding nervous, and thus making them nervous too. I end up being avoided then which makes things so much worse.

Any tips out there for me? I feel like running into the hills rather than go to this. I also know this sounds pathetic, especially for a grown man.

LegacyUser

What you have to realise is you're not the only person that gets nervous about these things. In fact, the majority of people do. I myself come across as quite friendly, chatty (nearly too chatty) and confident but I can assure you I really have to dig deep to be these things.

I too hate getting up and introducing myself to new people, especially talking in front of a large number of people but I just think to myself 'get it over and done with and you'll be happier in the long run'. Even in college I used to get real nervous going to the liks of class parties on my own but I always ended up being really glad I went.

Dont think too much about the fact that you hate small talk. Just think that you know absolutely nothing about these people so there's loads to talk about. Ask basic things such as 'how long are you in the company' 'what is it you do, do you enjoy it' even stuff lik 'where is it you live, have you always lived there' bla bla. It really is fine once you ask a few basic things lik that, itl turn into a full conversation as theyl probly ask the same bout you!!

Good luck

LegacyUser

You simply need confidence in yourself....you are unique..everybody is different..just love yourself and all else will follow !!!

BTW I have learned this the HARD way !!

cosmic

Ah the good thing about the stand up and introduce yourself forced things is that you can stand up and say "Hey, I'm x, I'm new enough to the company so I don't know most people here so I'm a bit shy". Then people will know why you've been quiet and will approach you which is a lot easier than having to go up to them yourself.

Try to have fun too!

wylo

telling people your a bit shy is much easier said than done.

OP I often have similar problems as yourself, but sometimes i genuinely realise (usually if Im in a really good mood) that other people dont care about you as much as you do. That might sound bad but its actually a good thing, when your thinking "oh sh1t they think im shy", "they think im nervous", the truth is your not on their mind at all, they live a whole life and your a split second in their life when chatting to them. They worry or are happy about their own things in their own head!! You just have to try remind yourself of that for now.In the mean time get looking into building your own self esteem for the long run.