I don't see the point in getting up everyday

LegacyUser

I'm 28 and male, I've coasted through life... a reasonable leaving cert, a pass degree in something vague, and now a string of EUR 9.50 (i.e. always just hovering above the minimum wage) per hour desk jobs processing paperwork.

From the outside I appear fine, play sport have a big group of lads to hang out with, but not individually.

It was only at the weekend when I went on a "date", my first ever, with someone my own age, a woman of course, that it hit me what a loser I am. How pointless it is.The obvious thing is money, and all that brings about. I live with my parents still, she lived in town with a flatmate, and so on.

I've never thought about suicide much either way, but I can now see how it can be considered as a legitimate option. I think that most people don't commit suicide because they are ill, but because it is, in their opinion, and everyone knows themselves best, the best option.

Every day is not a struggle but just not enjoyable. I don't see the point.

I think that everyone elses life plan is job > money > house > girlfriend > wife > children (optional) and on that list I have almost nothing. I desperately want a girlfriend, I yearn for one. It seems so "right" so natural. But unlike a Disney movie without money its just not happening. Think of the conversation, even the small things like discussing what cars you've had.

I wish guns were easy to get in the country. I would buy one tomorrow and after I worked up the courage I'd probably use it in the next few months, once I'd satisfied myself there was nothing I could do. I'm not gifted at anything like music. I've just had enough, I'm tired, not actually yawning but emotionally tired. I'm not mentally ill, I can honestly say that suicide seems like a rational option. I don't recommend it to others of course.

What are peoples thoughts on my situation (please don't make this a 100 page treatise on suicide) I have done a night couse which I passed it was something to do but nothing really interests me, I think nothing ever has. I appear to have amazing self confidence I could speak in front of an audience without quivering, I can do a job interview without worrying, but I'm now think thats because, deep down, I don't care one way or the other. I think that loads of people have that sort of "self confidence" derived from a lack of caring either way.

Xiney

OP, if you are seriously contemplating suicide, you are not thinking rationally. Please contact your GP.

You could also contact the Samaritans. Contact details below:

The Samaritans are a well trained group of volunteers available to talk to youabout any problems or life grievances you wish to talk about. www.samaritans.org or email jo@samaritans.org to get trained samaritan help via email. Alternatively dial 1850-609090 to speak in privacy and confidentiality. This is a link showing local samaritans in Ireland
http://www.samaritans.org/talk_to_someone/find_my_local_branch/ireland.aspx