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Husband unemployed - left me!

  • 16-06-2009 1:39pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I can't think straight at the moment. My husband has just left me - he is unemployed and has been for 18 months, (I am not working either, due to health difficulties I can only manage part-time, and there are just NO jos, not even menial ones)over a ridiculous row. I appreciate the stress due to financial worries etc, but we are both stressed, not just him.

    I know why he has lost the plot, the stress of it has got to him big time. Me too, but I don't have the luxury of being able to pack a case and just go......I have to put up and shut up. The agument was ridiculous -I said to one son that if he was going to drink gallons of bottled water (we buy because the tap water is really really REALLY nasty)he would have to buy it too. I looked today and all the water was gone, and son brought down I don't know how many empty bottles from his room) Son replied that he would rather drink the tap water than buy. I was furious at this, and said my bit. Husband told him to get out for good, started to rant and rage, son answered back, (he is nearly 19)and in temper of course (he is 19 ffs) said he was going to live under bridge blah blah.

    Now normally I would let this sort of RIDICULOUS thing blow over and discuss later. Husband said if I ever EVER let him back in the house, HE would leave. I was incredulous.I said *of course he is coming back* He said he was leaving NOW then!Went into loft, packed a case, and has gone!

    I am pretty sure he will have a change of heart at some point, but the problem is I don't really want him back. He has major anger issues, and quite frankly we as a family are finding it very hard to deal with it.The only reason I have not been been able to leave myself is due to financial issues and my dogs :(. I don't know where to start -he has total control of the money he claims, we are in deep financial poo with rent and ESB arrears, I have 3 children living at home,two sons are ALSO claiming jobseekers whatever it is, and they do contribute loads, but it is not enough.
    I don't know what to do.

    Any and all advice welcome.


Comments

  • #2
    Xiney
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,085 ✭✭✭Xiney


    You don't have to let him back if you don't want him back. You stated you would have left yourself if not for financial issues.

    You are now without income (due to him getting the additional money for a qualified adult and dependent children instead of you getting your own benefit), so go to your local social welfare office and let them know. Also visit your community welfare officer, get yourself on the housing list and apply for rent allowance/supplementary welfare allowance/medical card.

    He may try to come back when he finds out they've stopped his additional payments.


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