Negative

LegacyUser

Hi

I've got a weird problem. Ok, started when I was in primary school. I always felt that I was alienated like I had no friends and always felt left out. Looking back now I realise that this was not the case. This got worse in secondary school all my friends had boyfriends and I didnt. I hung out when girls who were very attractive and I was so ugly until I hit about seventeen, all elbows and knees. At this stage it did get better I felt like I was starting to fit in, I had a boyfriend and a big group of friends and I was happy.

I got to college, had a good group of friends, went out regularly really enjoyed myself and slowly got unhappy realised that I did not like being in night clubs or pubs unless I was plastered. If I went out and had a drink or two I would look around and be miserable. Drunken stupidness, fights, aggression... I hated even my own friends when they were drinking! I decided two years ago to give up the whole clubbing thing. I don't drink anymore, I don't go out anymore. Alot of my friends have gone different directions, some Australia, Alot of them have kids now and are busy with that.

I met my partner in college and we are really happy. He doesn't drink either. Basically lately I feel like I have no friends other than my partner. I really find myself thinking negatively about everyone. Housemates, I actually hate. I find myself not wanting to be in kitchen or livingroom when they're there. I am really retreating into myself and I'm happy, I know I shouldn't. It's not healthy.

I'm fed up with everyone I just don't know what to do, My partner is worried about ME and I'm really getting very negative about everything...

tosh_thedude

Its sound like you pritty pissed off with life. Forget everyone else, forget work, people, your old life... you need to change your personal circumstances. Your not happy so change things. You have the power. It's not that hard. Its the same if your working a job that you hate...if you hate it, then why stay there? I think if you saved up some cash and travelled the world for a year or two you'd be alot happier. You'd learn to find yourself again, find out what makes you happy, Learn to love yourself again. I did this myself. I was an angry, unsocialable, selfish, bored with life...hated everything basically...then one day I decided I'd head travelling. It was the best expierence of my life. I met so many people on that same journey. People from all walks of life. Anyways... this worked for me and I've talked with people with a simular view on life who also for travel to be the best expierence of their lives. I'd recommend New Zealand and Canada as a path to happiness.

Peggypeg

hey, I found myself in a similar situation about 3 years back, I had no real friends and the weekends stretched out to infinity before me on a friday, I wondered how I'd fill them. I didn't really realise I was unhappy, I thought that was just my personality. Anyway I was dianosed with MS and within 2 weeks I had started down the road that lead me to my present life, I'm not going to say I'm happy all the time but almost!!! I now don't have enough time for all my friends, I don't have enough money for all the activities I want to do etc. Looks to me like you've lost your joie de vivre and you need to find it again. I got a cosmic kick in the butt when I was diagnosed but to be honest I'm greatful for it, I'm extremely healthy and as I resond brilliantly to medication my nuerologist says I might always be this healthy (yay for medication!!) Being dianosed made me really stare my life in the face and be completely honest with myself, I wasn't happy with my boyfriend, he was way way way too old and grumpy for me, 14 years my senior and couldn't see the good in anyone or anything. Everyone to him was an idiot or a 'monkey', apparently he was much more evolved than everyone else. He never stopped me making friends but he'd belittle them and make me ashamed of liking them. So anyway yeah it was hard but I dumped him, moved home, did some counselling and decided to find a hobby. Luckily I found a brilliant hobby that encourages travel and along with the hobby came a built-in group of friends that I can honestly say I thank god for (even though I'm agnostic:D). Sounds to me like you've become really inverted?? not sure if that's the right word, you're angry and miserable and it seems like you're on a downward slope. My advice is to change your routine, get off your bum and try something new, make new friends, find the joy in living again. I know it's really hard to figure out what's making you sad when you honestly don't have a clue why you feel like you do. Above all don't give up, listen to yourself, if you internal dialogue is repeating itself over and over listen to it. If you can make changes (and there's alway a choice) do, start small and build up. I was really scared when I first went by myself to try the hobby but it all turned out so well in the end.

Hugs and cuddles and sloppy kisses.