Dating a widow

LegacyUser

just wondering what peoples views are about dating someone who a widow? As opposed to dating a divorcee or seperated person, pros and cons?

tbh

pros and cons?

milod

Pros: possibly a wardrobe full of clothes for the taking...
Cons: you might catch her behaving strangely with a potters wheel...

Oh hang on, thought I was in after hours, but seriously, it's a strange way to phrase the question.

Blazer

I say go for it...at long as she wasn't recently widowed.
Then there could be problems, also if kids are involved.
Will take them some guy to get used to u.

LegacyUser

Could be much cleaner than a divorcee..no ex involved in situation...however she obviously will possibly be always in love with her husband so you will have to respect and support her in that...best of luck with it

Sarah W

Surely you're dating a person rather than a title?

Karen_*

Can you not just see how it goes yourself?

Rb

Pro: At least he's not still around for her to fall back to?
Con: Could "see" dead people?

That's a very weird and quite immature question, to be honest. She's a woman, whos out of what I can only assume to be a long term relationship only in this case her ex is dead so I can't see why you wouldn't treat her like any other woman really.

Be respectful towards her husband and help her move on. However, that's on the premise that you're going into it with the aim of starting a relationship, as opposed to some fling which tbh is the impression that I got from the way you phrased your question.

barbiegirl

My mate is a widow and I've watched her dating.
The cons are that she is still in love with her hubbie and always will be, he's a "saint". She is very independant, she had to be, and as such her partner often feels cut out.
Pros she knows and believes in love. She is independant :-)
Really take it easy. Be respectful of her past husband but don't put up with crap. Establish this as a new relationship and hopefully it'll all move forward if it's meant to.

LegacyUser

I should have said "widower" instead of "widow", everyone assumed I'm a guy but I'm the woman! I know its a strange question but I'm just interested in what people think. I'm seperated myself and haven't been involved with anyone since my marriage broke up. My concern is that the dead wife will always be a saint that I can never compete with.
Also I would be interested to know how soon after a wifes death is it ok to for the man to go into a new relationship? Is two years ok?

SarahSassy

2 years would be expected to be reasonable. I know someone who started a relationship with a widower 3 months after his wife died but it caused huge problems as he postponed his grieving.

It should be like dating anyone else but I would always have it in my head that I was his second choice... Up to you.

tbh

Unregistered wrote: »

My concern is that the dead wife will always be a saint that I can never compete with.

you won't know until you try. Maybe she will, maybe she won't. Don't agree to get married until you're satisfied you know for sure.

LegacyUser

sunflower27 wrote: »

Obviously we are all different... but I think 2 years is enough to accept the death of a spouse and start moving on with life.

Yes, I think so too, life is short. At least theres no threat of a reconciliation!