So unhappy

LegacyUser

Hi,
First off Im really sorry if I come across as a moody, moany, ungrateful git.

Okay, a lttle about me. Well Im just about to finish the leaving cert, I have a great girlfriend and a lovely placid home life. I think Ive done well in my exams and am well on my way to college next year.

Thing is, I dont have a single friend in the world. By friend I mean, someone I would talk to regularly, see and hang out with on a regular basis and go to with problems that I had.

My old best friend all of a sudden doesnt like me and says he doesnt have a reason, he just doesnt want to be near me. All of our mutual friends seem to be busy running after him so I never get to see them. Another group of friends that I used to hang out with, I think are ready to give up on me seeing as everytime they invite me somewhere I'm either busy or end up leaving early as my girlfriend doesnt know them. One of my other best mates is so immersed in his relationship with his girlfriend (which IMO is overly serious considering their age) that it's hard to get a word in edgeways.

So Im coming to the end of my exams with no plans for the summer and I think that if I dont find something to do or someone to hang around with on a regular basis, I will blow my own head off. It feels like my life has gotten into a little rut, where each day is no fun and theres no solice in sleep.

I was just wondering if anyone had any suggestions on what I should do to get back on track with my social life, as I feel as though I'm socially inept at the moment.

Please, any advice would be greatly appreciated!

flibbertyjibbet

I think you should concentrate on the second group of friends you mentioned. Is there anyway you could integrate your girlfriend into the group or, if that doesn't work could you not meet them without her? If you're always busy when they invite you somewhere, why don't you pick a time when you're not busy and invite them somewhere? Hope this helps

ad1

I think at that age, when friends form relationships, they throw themselves in 100%, so that often leaves their best pal (who was banking on them to always be available) gets left alone. For this reason, i'd concentrate on trying to find a group of friends, rather than any one person. Have you thought about joining any sport/social clubs? I think with rugby, there's also a great social scene so you'd always have people to go for drinks with after training etc.
Be really careful not to fall out with your friend who has thrown himself into that relationship. You too will meet someone that you want to spend every second with so if you and your pals have an unwritten agreement that it's ok to get back in touch when relationships end, i think this'd really stand to you all in the future.
Good luck

LegacyUser

Hi OP here,
Thanks for the replies so far guys. Really appreciated.
I know my problem is so miniscule compared to others that Im reading here!

Yeah, I gave the second group a friends a call today and hung out with them pretty much all day. I told them that I really appreciate that they havent left me and still want me to hang with them.

I still feel fairly socially inept to some degree.
I just feel as though Im always saying the wrong things or taking jokes too far or stupidly not funny. I dont know if Im being overly sensitive to any critizism or am genuinely messing up.

Does anyone know how to improve their social skills? or if you had a mate like this, what would you say to them?

In relation to joining a sports club, well Im not athletic by nature so thats gone but it has got me thinking. Im sure theres plenty of other groups that I could join. Many thanks for that suggestion

Oh and as regards incorporating my gf into the group. No it really wouldnt happen. She's very shy and not very outgoing so finds it difficult to get along with people she doesnt know very well. And the group of friends, as welcoming as they are, dont share the same interests as her.

I just wanna say thanks again for the replies. Thanks to ye, Im starting to get my life back!