Dateing etaquit

Snowie

I'm posing this hear because it's not a relationship issue, but I'm more so curious to see what other peoples opinions are on this regardless of sex or sexuality.. It appear's to me that this could be the place I'm not shore tho so sorry to mod who has to move it..


When Seeing some one would you actively meet other guys/girls? or would you stay true to just one person. Personally i don't have a problem with a girll seeing me and another guy if that's her way its her way, I'd personally do the same.

I don't really see a problem with it but could see that other's would do you think its ok or not ?

omb0wyn5ehpij9

Every person will have a different view on this, but if i'm seeing a girl, i will only see her. I won't see anybody else at the same time

Snowie

Bryn wrote: »

Every person will have a different view on this, but if i'm seeing a girl, i will only see her. I won't see anybody else at the same time

It is a forum people are bound to have different view's...
Thats why I made the post!


May I ask why ?

omb0wyn5ehpij9

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

It is a forum people are bound to have different view's...
Thats why I made the post!


May I ask why ?

In my opinion, I just think that if you are seeing somebody, you should only be seeing that person and nobody else, whether you are in a relationship with them or not!

I'm having trouble relating sleeping with an ex to "seeing" someone.

Regardless for her own emotional wellbeing, she shouldn't be seeing people when she has feelings for him.

If I'm "seeing" someone, it is because I am considering having a realtionship with them.
Therefore it would be disrespectful to entertain other people.

Kissing is different. Because you havent decided to consider a relationship yet.

jaaavaaa

I reckon if you're "seeing" someone, it's OK to see other people too. But I'd stop if it got in any way serious.

Also if I knew the other person involved didn't view it that way, if I liked him I'd respect him enough not to see other guys ... I'd probably feel too guilty! Not so much if I thought he was doing the same though!

tman

I'm all about the monogamy... If you're seeing someone you should only be seeing them.
Even if I'd only been out on one date and wasn't 100% sure if she was up for another one, I would still refuse to see anybody else...

It may not be the modern way of doing things, but its my way and I intend to stick to it!
Kind of sucks when women don't share the same views and jump in the sack with someone else before letting you know where you stand

Vinny-Chase

jaaavaaa wrote: »

I reckon if you're "seeing" someone, it's OK to see other people too. But I'd stop if it got in any way serious.

Yup that would be my consensus. Unless it's been established that it's an exclusive thing for both there shouldn't be an issue.

metaoblivia

If I'm seeing someone casually, I have no qualms about meeting other people and seeing them as well. If I wanted to get serious with someone, then I would only date them. And when I'm in the casual phase of seeing someone, I'm not sleeping with them. So it's not like I'm sleeping around!
But I'm American, and from what I've read on boards, "casual dating" is an American "thing."

madra-rua

If I was "seeing" someone then I would only be "seeing" them and nobody else ... no matter how serious it was !! I know if it was the other way round and I was "seeing" a guy and found out that he was "seeing" someone else as well as me I wouldn't be too impressed :mad:

Snowie

Moonbaby wrote: »

I'm having trouble relating sleeping with an ex to "seeing" someone.

Argh my brain is like a turnip today, basically that was her reason for not meeting this guy maybe part of my post is irrelevant? ... edit

Wibbs

metaoblivia wrote: »

But I'm American, and from what I've read on boards, "casual dating" is an American "thing."

Very much. If you were meeting a woman(or man) for dates in Ireland and you suggested that you were also seeing someone else for dates, or even multiple someones then bruises may ensue. Very different approach. I can see the value in both TBH, but I find the American one a bit clinical and more like an interview approach until you pass muster and "go steady". The American way seems far more open to abuse in a way. Though that may just be the European in me.:)

SeekUp

madra-rua wrote: »

I know if it was the other way round and I was "seeing" a guy and found out that he was "seeing" someone else as well as me I wouldn't be too impressed :mad:

I think that's the thing -- if you're casually dating more than one person, I think both parties should agree to (or at least be aware of) being open to dating other people. Otherwise, Person A is thinking this is an exclusive arrangement and Person B is thinking that it's not, and then it's a mess. But if both people know that it's happening, how can either person be upset?

I've never really "dated" growing up; even in college, I found the idea of seeing more than one person at a time to be a little exhausting. But I don't have a problem with it, really . . . sometimes you need to try people on for size before taking the package home.

allabouteve

SeekUp wrote: »

I think that's the thing -- if you're casually dating more than one person, I think both parties should agree to (or at least be aware of) being open to dating other people.

Thats only fair. You can only play within the lines if you know where they are.

I tend to stick to the one guy until I know if I'd consider something longer term or not. If not, there's no point in going further since I'm not interested in short term flings anymore. If so, I'd be faithful to the one guy anyway.

Its also a lot less complicated.

Vinny-Chase

While I will admit that I am more into seeing a person exclusively I dont' think it's a problem for either party to see other people.

You can decide in yourself that you like this person and don't want to see other people. But that doesn't mean the other person has to feel the same. I think until things go up a notch or two I don't think either party has the right to get annoyed if the other person has a date.

G86

I personally wouldn't define 'seeing someone' as a relationship and I wouldn't see it as exclusive until it gets more serious, e.g bf/gf kind of status. For example if you've only met up with someone 2 or 3 times and then someone else asks you out, I wouldn't see the problem with that since you're not in a relationship - you're simply keeping your options open - and in my exp alot of guys think this way too.

That said though, if I REALLY liked someone then I wouldn't want to see anyone else anyway. I know I'm kind of contradicting myself now:o

SeekUp

allabouteve wrote: »

Thats only fair. You can only play within the lines if you know where they are.

Good line - and completely true . . . I'm going to use that one!

Vinny-Chase

G86 wrote: »

I personally wouldn't define 'seeing someone' as a relationship and I wouldn't see it as exclusive until it gets more serious, e.g bf/gf kind of status. For example if you've only met up with someone 2 or 3 times and then someone else asks you out, I wouldn't see the problem with that since you're not in a relationship - you're simply keeping your options open - and in my exp alot of guys think this way too.

That said though, if I REALLY liked someone then I wouldn't want to see anyone else anyway. I know I'm kind of contradicting myself now:o

+1

ciagr297

G86 wrote: »

I personally wouldn't define 'seeing someone' as a relationship and I wouldn't see it as exclusive until it gets more serious, e.g bf/gf kind of status. For example if you've only met up with someone 2 or 3 times and then someone else asks you out, I wouldn't see the problem with that since you're not in a relationship - you're simply keeping your options open - and in my exp alot of guys think this way too.

That said though, if I REALLY liked someone then I wouldn't want to see anyone else anyway. I know I'm kind of contradicting myself now:o

+1

i also think that the whole thing has to be very clear and keep clarifying it! i've got in trouble over this before where we didn't have the chat, saw each other a few times and another guy asked me out.....troublesome

and on another point, i think you have to be honest about whether you are comfortable with dating a few ppl. some people just aren't and you have to just accept that
as G86 said, sometimes it happens that you really like the person and want to "focus your energy" (the office is influencing me....arggghh!):D

shellyboo

G86 wrote: »

That said though, if I REALLY liked someone then I wouldn't want to see anyone else anyway. I know I'm kind of contradicting myself now:o

But then, if the guy you really liked did decide to have another date while he was dating you, and you found out about it - would you not be kind of upset? Because you really like him?

I know I would. I'm all for people keeping their options open, and I think whatever people want to do is fine as long as both parties are on board... but I think in a situation like this, I would just not see anyone else to avoid any kind of hassle. Especially if I really liked the guy, I wouldn't want to possibly mess that up by seeing someone else.

Porkpie

When I start dating someone initially and the relationship is casual enough I don't see the harm in keeping my options open until the point where I am sure I really like the person and want things to get more serious. This could become apparent after one date, or it could take weeks.

jellie

hmmmmm. if im "seeing someone" its more of a "i like you enough to want to be exclusive but im not sure if were quite at the bf/gf stage yet".

battser

Hmmmm a tough one but I wouldn't go on a date or two with a girl then go see someone else unless it was made clear that we were just having a few dates and she was keeping her options open too!!

Orla K

I wouldn't do it. I kind of see it as a round about way of saying 'I like you but I think I could find someone better' or something along those lines. If I like someone enough to see him then I'll see him and no one else. If the guy was seeing other people I would be less interested in him and probably have less respect for him, so that would be the end of that.

For me, 'seeing someone' is definitely exclusive. If I like someone enough to go out on dates with them, it's already pretty special. I hate the American way of dating - 'trying out' different people as if they were pairs of shoes.

Walls

This is going to kill me -

It's "Etiquette". French word for ticket, allowing entry or extending permission to join. Can a mod please fix the title? Please?

Re the original question; if you let them know, then it is okay. If they know you see other people, then they are forewarned and that is that.

Why; what did you do?

tman

Walls wrote: »

This is going to kill me -

It's "Etiquette". French word for ticket, allowing entry or extending permission to join. Can a mod please fix the title? Please?

It should also be "dating"... Double title fail!

jellie

Walls wrote: »

This is going to kill me -

It's "Etiquette". French word for ticket, allowing entry or extending permission to join. Can a mod please fix the title? Please?

Re the original question; if you let them know, then it is okay. If they know you see other people, then they are forewarned and that is that.

Why; what did you do?

tman wrote: »

It should also be "dating"... Double title fail!

luckily this is not the 'Correct spelling Lounge'

homerun_homer

sar84 wrote: »

luckily this is not the 'Correct spelling Lounge'

Must be why this place is just as full of guys as gals - they are mis-reading it as the Lads Lounge.:pac:

Katarn1

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

...

When Seeing some one would you actively meet other guys/girls? or would you stay true to just one person. Personally i don't have a problem with a girll seeing me and another guy if that's her way its her way, I'd personally do the same.

...

I personally wouldn't. If I meet someone who has potential I consider dating to be an opportunity to get to know them better. So I give them my time and attention. This takes all my focus lol.
Also Id rather not know if the other person, while we were only dating, was seeing others.
I have been with guys who told me, after we were official, that they with others while we were dating and it didnt bother me cause at that early stage its none of my business.
But I think if I was dating the person and they told me then it might wreck my head. What I dont know doesnt bother me lol. :pac:

pikachucheeks

I think it's down to the individual situation -

You talk and discuss what the rules are, so you're both aware!

Seeing someone can mean you're seeing them and other people, or it could also mean you're seeing them exclusively.

metaoblivia

Wibbs wrote: »

Very much. If you were meeting a woman(or man) for dates in Ireland and you suggested that you were also seeing someone else for dates, or even multiple someones then bruises may ensue. Very different approach. I can see the value in both TBH, but I find the American one a bit clinical and more like an interview approach until you pass muster and "go steady". The American way seems far more open to abuse in a way. Though that may just be the European in me.:)

Lol, yes, you say clinical, I say pragmatic . For me, it's really nice because I can get to know someone without the pressure of jumping into a commitment straight away. It also gives me the opportunity to say "yes" to more guys when they ask for a date, because I'm not thinking that we're embarking on something exclusive. I'm just thinking that he's someone who seems cool and might be worth getting to know over the course of a few dates. Maybe on the surface he doesn't appear to be "the one" but if he's decent guy, why not give him a chance? Who knows where it could end up going. And in that way, I get to meet more people, and I think the more people you meet and date, the more you get an idea of what really works for you. Also, if the "relationship" ends in this stage, it's not as bad because you aren't as emotionally involved. And if you happen to be casually seeing someone else at the same time, it can be a good reminder that opportunities and options are indeed everywhere.

minidazzler

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I think it's down to the individual situation -

You talk and discuss what the rules are, so you're both aware!

Seeing someone can mean you're seeing them and other people, or it could also mean you're seeing them exclusively.

Then that has nothing to with etiquette.

Etiquette is a code of behavior that influences expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society,

So Etiquette is just the social norms and can't be about individual situations.
(Sorry if this sounds condescending, not intended)

Personally I am not a fan of the whole monogamous relationship thing, but I would go along with what the other party wanted to keep things simple.

G86

shellyboo wrote: »

But then, if the guy you really liked did decide to have another date while he was dating you, and you found out about it - would you not be kind of upset? Because you really like him?

.

Well no, because I'd kind of expect it to be honest, maybe I'm just cynical - or maybe I'm realistic.

I think the whole process of 'dating' or 'seeing' someone is about getting to know them and finding out whether or not ye click well enough to have a relationship. It's nice at the start to not have the pressure of whether or not it's going to develop into more and to just enjoy the moment.

That said, it IS a very clinical way of talking about it, and I know myself that when I REALLY like a guy then I really wouldn't be interested in seeing anyone else at all; the difference is though that I'd still see the option there until I'd really got to know him - jumping in head first gets you nowhere.

It kind of depends how long you're dating too, if I was 'seeing' him for more than say 2 or 3 months and it wasn't going anywhere then I'd probably jump ship.

Vinny-Chase

Personally if I was "seeing someone" for 2 - 3 months I dont' think I'd be seeing someone else. After that amount of time would it not be bordering on a relationship?

There needs to be a definite definition between seeing someone & dating someone

G86

Vinny-Chase wrote: »

Personally if I was "seeing someone" for 2 - 3 months I dont' think I'd be seeing someone else. After that amount of time would it not be bordering on a relationship?

There needs to be a definite definition between seeing someone & dating someone

Aye, true enough, that's kind of what I meant, if it wasn't a relationship at that stage I wouldn't see the point in seeing that person any longer. It's kind of the stage where you need to have THAT conversation...and see what way it goes.

As for the definition - that's different for everyone so it's just important that both sides know where they stand.

GirlInterrupted

Walls wrote: »

This is going to kill me -

It's "Etiquette". French word for ticket, allowing entry or extending permission to join. Can a mod please fix the title? Please?

Sorry, but to raise your pedantry with some further pedantry, etiquette is not the French for ticket, its the French for 'label'. 'Billet' is the French for ticket.

sar84 wrote: »

luckily this is not the 'Correct spelling Lounge'

I don't like people being overly fussy about this sort of thing, but I have to say, its worse when they're wrong, so forgive me this once!

shellyboo

G86 wrote: »

Well no, because I'd kind of expect it to be honest, maybe I'm just cynical - or maybe I'm realistic.

Yeah, I'm not saying I'd freak out about it or anything, but it would take the shine off a new thing for me. I'd be disappointed!