Irish men

Denie

I figure pretty much all men are the same so this question is not going to get anywhere, but im 20 going to school in Ireland next month and im not into hooking up/one night stands. Many of my friends that have studied there say that they meet men in the pub who just want to have sex and that there is no real "dating" scene. My question is that
1)i hear they think all American girls are easy/annoying. which is fine i understand that..so are any irish boys going to be interested in relationships or just sex
2)if a girl is a virgin do they look down on that?
seeing as most men are the same im guessing the answers are the same as what American boys will think. But i guess im just hoping Irish men care less about sex and more about knowing a person.

Overheal

Yankee lad here, I lived among the natives for a good spell

in answer to your 2nd question: definitely not.... *checks* yeah definitely not.

As for your first question I'm sure you could find an Irish guy/lad/"fella" that wanted to pursue a relationship. But first and foremost, I highly doubt you'll find him in the pub/club.

I think the advice to offer you is "don't wave around the virgin flag, for many, varied reasons" and secondly if you get over there on a mission to hook up with someone (relationship or otherwise) it'll happen. Just keep your guard about you. Theres plenty of nice Irish lads but also plenty who would take advantage, same as anywhere.

Take your time, relax, have fun, study, see the sites, and I'm sure you'll start getting along with some nice guy you might like to see yourself with.

As for all men being the same: the rules of dating as they seem to commonly/formally apply in the US are not the same that apply in Ireland. I'll let them explain rather than make an ass of myself :pac: though that may be too late

RealistSpy

To say men don't care about sex that will be lieing but ther're are some sound fella's out there so just relax and have fun. And no men are not the same we all just think 99% alike.

upmeath

Overheal wrote: »

the rules of dating as they seem to commonly/formally apply in the US are not the same that apply in Ireland

Or anywhere else in Europe for that matter. We're not very forward about it, we tend to play things a little more cagey. People here don't do business cards or ask someone they met by chance if they'd like to go for dinner. Not at all. We tend to gradually build a relationship with someone else, either through mutual friends (eg. seeing them in the same company at parties or on nights out) or through mutual interests (eg. sports clubs). Pubs and clubs are minefields, as you'll read time and time again on these pages, and unless you want one night stands and drunken mauling it's best to avoid them.

Kipperhell

It is a different culture plain and simple. American dating to me was absolute madness but I tried it. People were so strange about personal rules that I always felt like they never really relaxed. The fact we have managed to marry and have children pretty much establishes our system works too. I would suggest you try local customs rather worry about how your own concept of how it works applies. Be confused that is how to learn culture more than fitting it into your own way.

Xiney

Denie wrote: »

I figure pretty much all men are the same so this question is not going to get anywhere

you're right.



with an attitude like that you're not going to get anywhere.

Profiler

Xiney wrote: »

you're right.



with an attitude like that you're not going to get anywhere.

+ 1

All Irish men are the same? It's funny, I was out with Graeme Norton, Brian O'Driscoll and Colin Farrell last night and the number of women who asked me for an autograph because they couldn't tell us apart was HUGE! :rolleyes:

dudara

American dating just doesn't work here. Irish people tend to go either for kissing random strangers in clubs/bars or having the full-on monogamous relationship. I'm not making a sweeping generalisation here, but rather trying to point out that the casual trying-on-new-clothes approach of american dating doesn't work that well here.

Irish men are well worth the effort - it's just a case of finding the good ones.

RacoonQueen

I know lots of Irish men who are absolutely lovely and treat girls with nothing but respect. They don't go for one night stands, they go to pubs/clubs to have a good time with their friends and don't generally look to 'pull' because unless you're looking for a one night stand you aren't likely to meet your future husband there, although some do.

The dating scene is just different here, Irish men don't tend to ask girls out though. Relationships tend to build up from mutual friends, work etc...and it can be a very sloooooow procedure.

Edit: As dudara said, Irish men are great, they tend to be really good to their girlfriends. It's usually worth waiting for them to build up the courage to ask you out(if they ask you out they like to wait for a chance meeting/work night out sort of thing to pounce).

The_Conductor

Hi Denie-

As a guy I'd like to echo whats been said here.
If you're delibertly looking for a 1-night-stand go to a bar or a nightclub (some of them are notorious in this respect). Many foreigners assume that Irish social life revolves around the local pub/bar- quite simply it doesn't.

I wouldn't consider dating someone I had never met before, had not had a chance to talk to and knew I didn't share at least some common interests with- unlike in the states where someone will randomly come up to you and start chatting to you- other than someone simply being friendly- in Ireland this means precisely nothing whatsoever.

I seriously advise avoiding the pub/club scene other than for going out with friends for a bit of fun the odd time- and if you are approached by a guy in a pub or club- yes, he most probably does have only the one thing on his mind.....

A useful exercise would be to sit down and make a list of your hobbies, your likes and dislikes- the things that make you happy, the things that you abhor. Next- sit down with a few Irish people and figure- where you are likely to meet people with similar pasttimes and likes? The different universities have literally hundreds of societies and clubs- which are wonderful for getting to know a few people with similar likes/dislikes- the norm here is to get to know a few people as friends- and if the friendship- which is based on something a little more concrete than looks alone- has something in it- brilliant. If no friendships develop- well at very least- you're having fun pursuing your hobbies and enjoying yourself.

The biggest myth of all that many foreign people have is that Irish people's lives revolve around alcohol. Its true in some (perhaps many) sad cases- but its very much a self perpetuating myth in most regards.

JonathanAnon

RacoonQueen wrote: »

The dating scene is just different here, Irish men don't tend to ask girls out though. Relationships tend to build up from mutual friends, work etc...and it can be a very sloooooow procedure.

Lot of truth in this to be fair. Of my friends, the ones that approach you in a night club are the ones who will treat you like crap. The ones that wouldnt are the ones that would treat you well. Doesn't bode well for finding someone good though does it..

LegacyUser

Denie wrote: »

I figure pretty much all men are the same so this question is not going to get anywhere, but im 20 going to school in Ireland next month and im not into hooking up/one night stands. Many of my friends that have studied there say that they meet men in the pub who just want to have sex and that there is no real "dating" scene. My question is that
1)i hear they think all American girls are easy/annoying. which is fine i understand that..so are any irish boys going to be interested in relationships or just sex
2)if a girl is a virgin do they look down on that?
seeing as most men are the same im guessing the answers are the same as what American boys will think. But i guess im just hoping Irish men care less about sex and more about knowing a person.

Well im a guy, Irish and same age as yourself

1) I would'nt think either. Thats sterotyping. TBH id say Irish girls are the prob the most slutiest and annoying of all :P. Sex is the last thing on my mind if i meet someone nice when im out. Much more concerned about getting to know the person and then try to get their number and if all goes well possible dating/relationship (if it gets that far).

2) Not a chance. Well not me anyway. I think i'd prefer it. Cant explain why but i suppose it shows their not a whore for staters and have abit of self respect.

But i know what your friends mean, alot of Irish women are the same and i cant stand it. Im just not interested. Im not that kinda guy, sure i only had sex a couple times with my ex GF of 2 years or so and it wasn't until atleast a year after we got together that we decided to go for it.

So no, us irish arent all the same. Same as you america's are'nt all easy/annoying:D

LegacyUser

smccarrick wrote: »

Hi Denie-

As a guy I'd like to echo whats been said here.
If you're delibertly looking for a 1-night-stand go to a bar or a nightclub (some of them are notorious in this respect). Many foreigners assume that Irish social life revolves around the local pub/bar- quite simply it doesn't.

I wouldn't consider dating someone I had never met before, had not had a chance to talk to and knew I didn't share at least some common interests with- unlike in the states where someone will randomly come up to you and start chatting to you- other than someone simply being friendly- in Ireland this means precisely nothing whatsoever.

Are you serious? If I hadn't swapped numbers and gone on a date with a randomer I met in the pub at the end of the night I wouldn't be married to him now!

The fact is that pubs in Ireland are fantastic craic, always have been and always will be. It would be a shame to miss out on that part of the experience for fear of an imaginary mauling. Irish guys do ask girls out, usually after a drink but it still happens ALL THE TIME. The same rules apply here as anywhere - never go further with someone physically than you want to, and date in public places! FFS you people will be scaring the poor girl!

Good advice about not going on about the virginity thing though. We have virgins here too believe it or not, but its not o much a 'statement' as it can be America.

Chucky the tree

Denie wrote: »

I figure pretty much all men are the same so this question is not going to get anywhere, but im 20 going to school in Ireland next month and im not into hooking up/one night stands. Many of my friends that have studied there say that they meet men in the pub who just want to have sex and that there is no real "dating" scene. My question is that
1)i hear they think all American girls are easy/annoying. which is fine i understand that..so are any irish boys going to be interested in relationships or just sex
2)if a girl is a virgin do they look down on that?
seeing as most men are the same im guessing the answers are the same as what American boys will think. But i guess im just hoping Irish men care less about sex and more about knowing a person.

1. It depends on the guy, some will want sex, some will want a relationship.
2. I certainly wouldn't say look down but it can be off putting.


Tbh you should concentrate more on making a friends over hear and just let the boyfriend/relationship thing come naturally when you've gotten used to everything.

SilverCrest88 wrote: »

2) Not a chance. Well not me anyway. I think i'd prefer it. Cant explain why but i suppose it shows their not a whore for staters and have abit of self respect.

Yes, because every 20 year old non-virgin is a whore who has no self respect.:rolleyes:

BumbleB

Denie wrote: »

I figure pretty much all men are the same so this question is not going to get anywhere, but im 20 going to school in Ireland next month and im not into hooking up/one night stands. Many of my friends that have studied there say that they meet men in the pub who just want to have sex and that there is no real "dating" scene. My question is that
1)i hear they think all American girls are easy/annoying. which is fine i understand that..so are any irish boys going to be interested in relationships or just sex
2)if a girl is a virgin do they look down on that?
seeing as most men are the same im guessing the answers are the same as what American boys will think. But i guess im just hoping Irish men care less about sex and more about knowing a person.

HI D ,

I'm originally from the states and dating is an awful lot different here ,the best thing for you is to just come over here with no preconcieved notions and be yourself.

yes , Irish guys may think you're easy simply because most of the girls they meet over here on holiday are. The best thing is to come over here and have fun, because ireland is full of fun people.

Kevster

Me: I'm 26, have little interest in sex, and am only interested in forming a strong emotional bond/friendship with a partner. My ideal girl is one who dresses down all of the time, does not wear make-up, has a bit of weight on her, and doesn't straighten her hair artificially. It upsets me that girls think all guys just want sex, because it is very much not the case.

redorblack

I have come to the conclusion, men whatever the nationality pretend to be into all the lovey dovey stuff to get sex and women put out to get all the lovey dovey stuff. Dating scenes may differ from one culture to the next, but the goals are the same.

Kevster

redorblack wrote: »

I have come to the conclusion, men whatever the nationality pretend to be into all the lovey dovey stuff to get sex and women put out to get all the lovey dovey stuff. Dating scenes may differ from one culture to the next, but the goals are the same.

... ...incorrect, my friend. You are just highlighting your lack of culture and/or experience

redorblack

Kevster wrote: »

Me: I'm 26, have little interest in sex, and am only interested in forming a strong emotional bond/friendship with a partner. My ideal girl is one who dresses down all of the time, does not wear make-up, has a bit of weight on her, and doesn't straighten her hair artificially. It upsets me that girls think all guys just want sex, because it is very much not the case.

Whats wrong with a girl dressing up and looking good? You sound a bit weird tbh.

Lone Stone

After reading the responses from the yanks here i wish i lived in America , trying to date someone in Ireland can be like getting blood from a stone sometimes.:(

Glico Man

Me, I'm a 21 y.o male going on 22 and to be honest there is no real dating scene here. I met most of my previous girlfriends (4) at discos and clubs. I'm actually starting to get sick of that scene these days, mainly cos of the costs involved. There aren't many other ways of meeting people though and because I'm a shy person I don't exactly go up to someone working in a bar or restaurant or in college and ask for their number so I don't really date much outside the bar scene.

And this next comment may surprise a few people but I really couldn't care less about sex. I don't go out with the intention to find someone to bring back and then send home the next day. Don't get me wrong I enjoy it like pretty much everyone but there's more important things in my life like my friends and family and college.

LegacyUser

Just be yourself and youll find someone and by all means do go to the bars and clubs as there is plenty of genuine males in them aswell that are not all interested in sex!

Wibbs

markopantelic infracted. Cop on, read the charter or you will be getting a long ban from here. Post deleted. mikom read the charter of this forum about unhelpful posting.