Guys talking about sex life

LegacyUser

Is it normal for guys to talk to their mates about their sex life? My ex said he and his mates never did this, he thought it was really tacky etc, but my new bf's mates all do it and in way too much detail IMO. My bf himself admitted talking badly of a female friend he was with to his mates, he says he was young and immature and feels awful now but it happened. Is this true, do most guys talk to each other about this kind of stuff? I've never mentioned anything about my sex life to any of my mates!

Wibbs

Might ask for pointers, but never about specific women though. They would be the same, with the notable exception of one mate of mine. With him I feel I've slept with his GF too. I'd reckon most don't really, or they keep it simple. She was crap, she was great kinda thing.

Otis Driftwood

Ya same as Wibbs.Have never gone into detail about anyone Ive been in a relationship with or thought a relationship was possible.

Breach of trust IMO.

Rb

No, it certainly is tacky and unrespectable.

It's a couples private time and that's how it should remain.

Triangle

Imo, it depends on the guy.

The guys that like their ego stroked always give details.

The more balanced guys would keep it private.

Most of my friends keep it private and the ones that talk are pretty obvious.

LegacyUser

That's what my BF says 'never about anyone you're in a relationship with' but one of his mates always talks about his GF, which the rest of the lads think is disrespectful. Are there unwritten rules about this sort of thing?

LegacyUser

I think some girls are worse for talking about their sex life than guys. I have had discussions with one or two female friends.. generally not about a particular person per se but what works what doesn't.... I wouldn't ever disclose the nitty gritty details though that would be too much.

Otis Driftwood

Unregistered wrote: »

That's what my BF says 'never about anyone you're in a relationship with' but one of his mates always talks about his GF, which the rest of the lads think is disrespectful. Are there unwritten rules about this sort of thing?

Unwritten/unspoken - its doesnt matter.What it comes down to is respect for your OH.

This guy obviously has none for his.

And if the rest of them think its disrespectful then why dont they tell him to STFU about it?.

Chucky the tree

I'd never do it, and if one of my mates went on about his gf I'd tell him to stfu. I know one lad who does it and he's been put in his place.

Manic Moran

In my experience, women are far more likely to speak of their sex lives, and when they do, it seems to be in intimate and un-censored detail.

Men generally just leave it at "You get laid?" "Yep" "Good for you. Did you have time to watch the match?"

Of course, there are always individual exceptions.

NTM

Max Power1

nedtheshed wrote: »

Ya same as Wibbs.Have never gone into detail about anyone Ive been in a relationship with or thought a relationship was possible.

Breach of trust IMO.

Rb wrote: »

No, it certainly is tacky and unrespectable.

It's a couples private time and that's how it should remain.

Exactly. Its intimacy between two people and thats how it should be left.

CDfm

I wouldnt and none of my close friends would. I would find it embarrassing if a friend of mine started talking about "shagging the missus" especially if I knew the woman.

Somepeople might like it -in an exhibitionist way -but if you are uncomfortable with it then he should stop.

BumbleB

It almost never happens.

Nervous Wreck

I'd talk to my close friends about issues I might be having in the bedroom but never stuff like "you'll never guess what me and x did last night". I'd sometimes tell a funny story that led to sex. Like the time I was debating about religion with my ex and she eventually said that the intensity of the argument was making her horny and we then had sex. Days later we were arguing and she was hating it. When I said "I thought our debates make you horny?" she said "No. I just wanted you to shut up so I had sex with you." That's just a good story!

But no, I generally wouldn't say a word about girlfriends or ex-girlfriends. One nighters are open season for bragging/slagging though.

Nervous Wreck

I do disagree with the general consensus here though. It seems like it's really taboo for lads to talk about sex with each other cos of the preconception that it's automatically going to be talked about in a tacky, offensive, sexist way. On the rare occasion that I've talked about sex (with a specific partner) with my friends, I've only ever done so in a respectful and mostly very sappy way. I wouldn't talk like this with just anyone but I trust and respect my closest friends and I feel that I should be able to talk to them about things that make me happy, including sex (although obviously not in too much detail) or indeed things that seem strange to me (including bedroom issues). Friends should be able to communicate and although sex can be a very personal experience for 2 people, it doesn't mean that it shouldn't be talked about. Sex with a loved one is, for me, and extremely personal thing. But if it's personal for me and has the ability to really affect me, I need to be able to talk to my one or two close friends about it, in case I need some sort of advice.

AnonoBoy

Guys might throw in a few details if they had a one night stand or a fling with someone but that's drunk pub talk and it would rarely happen that any decent guy would talk about his girlfriends (past or present) like that.

Kiera

Most guys i know wouldnt talk about their sex lives the way girls would. When i questioned my ex about this he said he didnt want his mates to picture me doing stuff which is fair enough.

Otis Driftwood

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

I do disagree with the general consensus here though. It seems like it's really taboo for lads to talk about sex with each other cos of the preconception that it's automatically going to be talked about in a tacky, offensive, sexist way. On the rare occasion that I've talked about sex (with a specific partner) with my friends, I've only ever done so in a respectful and mostly very sappy way. I wouldn't talk like this with just anyone but I trust and respect my closest friends and I feel that I should be able to talk to them about things that make me happy, including sex (although obviously not in too much detail) or indeed things that seem strange to me (including bedroom issues). Friends should be able to communicate and although sex can be a very personal experience for 2 people, it doesn't mean that it shouldn't be talked about. Sex with a loved one is, for me, and extremely personal thing. But if it's personal for me and has the ability to really affect me, I need to be able to talk to my one or two close friends about it, in case I need some sort of advice.

To a certain extent I can see where you are coming from however any bedroom details involving someone Im in a relationship with are off limits to anyone except myself the girl in question.

I simply wouldnt be comfortable telling even my closest male friends anything like that.Strangely though I would find it alot easier to talk to a close female friend about such things but again,it would not be too detail heavy,more a general chat type situation.

Edit:Just to add,I think Kiera hit the nail on the head with the above post.

LegacyUser

I think it pretty much just comes down to whether guys are in a relationship or simply getting it off some randomner.

Personally, as a girl, I did tell some of my girlfriends a few details at the start of my relationship. I'm with someone nearly 2years now tho and I dont bother nymor, altho sometimes if they're tellin me a story I might say 'ooh yea us2' or say favourite positions or sumtn. As a whole I don't tend to volunteer any details nymor tho, maybe just say we had a savage night or sumtn!!

My boyfriend told me tho of how all his friends talk bout it, not necessarily every single girl but they do tell random stories bout just girls they hooked up with. My boyfriends not really lik that tho, he just tells his really close friends a few things bout us!! Altho when my bro sumtimes takes him on a nite out, one of my bro's friends keeps askin wat Im lik in the sack and if Im any good (obviosuly when my bro is not ther). My boyf gets really annoyed by this and doesn answer him but it doesnt stop this other guy askin, think it all comes down to how much they lik the girl!!

Rb

^^^
If you're at a computer, please use the full keyboard, your post was difficult to read.

RossFixxxed

Do guys like eating oranges? Some will be very shy/coy/polite etc and some will tell you the most lewd stories imaginable, like the time me and a bus full of nuns... Nevermind.

I have found guys generally will ask for advice on an issue, or give the odd vague story. They'll make macho comments 'ah you'll have it on tap now' etc, but there's no real information behind it. It's just joking etc...

However, the actually chats about sex are generally for information, to learn, to ask aabout an issue etc... There's not this bloody Sex and the City view of men. We're not showing illustrations, making motions, being graphic and giving away details of a private relationship. TV has really made us out to be pretty bad. But that's why it's TV!!

R

LegacyUser

I've mentioned some so called private elements of my relationship but the reason I mentioned them was because I was looking for some advice/thoughts on what was going on. Encountering new scenarios led me to do this. I feel bad about it now reading back on this thread!

RossFixxxed

Unregistered wrote: »

I've mentioned some so called private elements of my relationship but the reason I mentioned them was because I was looking for some advice/thoughts on what was going on. Encountering new scenarios led me to do this. I feel bad about it now reading back on this thread!

That is ok. I think if it's for advice with people you trust then it's 100% ok. It's the 'ah yeah i did x, y and z to her a, b AND c!' in the pub to all the lads that is a bit much.

r