Ladies???

LegacyUser

Very quick and to the point, girls (suppose even guys) why is it important to play games, i.e not ringing etc. when ya want to but holding off, started something with someone there recently and think ive messed it up by coming on to strong.....hate this, if i like someone i like someone and thats it!!!!, just not into playing games but it seems im the only one......any insights would be really appreciated

Joebits

Unregistered wrote: »

Very quick and to the point, girls (suppose even guys) why is it important to play games, i.e not ringing etc. when ya want to but holding off, started something with someone there recently and think ive messed it up by coming on to strong.....hate this, if i like someone i like someone and thats it!!!!, just not into playing games but it seems im the only one......any insights would be really appreciated

You haven't messed it up. You seem like you want to be comitted? No one likes Rushing things and coming on too strong may frighten the person away.
So just relax, if you really like the person tell them how you feel but not in a way that scares them off, just something like " I really like you, and i love hanging out with you, i enjoy your company and I hope we can hang out some more".

Just be relaxed about it but at the same time put effort into it and show the person you are trying to make it work and that you do genuinely like Them!

Polleta

With my last relationship we spent a lot a lot of time together in person in fact 24-7 while travelling before we admitted we liked each other so there were no games no delays just commitment from the get go. But I have to add that for the first while we knew each other there was plenty of sketching around asking questions both ways taking time out to think etc. Not planned but just kinda naturally so it wasn't full on from the first moment.

Latest guy I had known for a year before anything happened. Eight months in we have naturally delayed responses to each other. Its not a game its just a case of getting to know each other. The first week after our first kiss were pretty full on on the contact front with declarations of liking each other splurted out on both sides but now we have I supposed slightly moved on from the 'she/he might run away stage' of frenzied contact. Now I want to extend our chats that bit longer or if texting each other want it to last maybe 5 in a few hours rather than maybe 5 texts in an hour. Again its not so planned but a case of I'll hear my phone and finish what I'm at before looking at it and responding whereas at the start you couldn't help looking at your phone and replying.

Different stages warrent different behaviour but I don't think anyone worth their salt would run if a person they genuinely liked said they liked them.

I have had the other side with a guy coming on really strong and asking me out incessantly. He was an attractive guy in fact I'm still really good friends with him but I realised after a short while that I didnt like him enough so it actually worked out in that we found out very fast we weren't right for each other.

Personally I don't believe in all this 3 day rule jazz.. waste of time!

SarahSassy

If its right she wont see it as too strong.

mbren

Hi Op,

I feel your pain. There is nothing more childish than head games and I avoid them at all costs. Like you, I wear my heart on my sleeve and I know I have put off some girls by being too keen.

The girl that is right for you won't pass you by mate, and you'll know it staright away...There will be no head games, just communication.

I met the girl of my dreams recently and we get on great because I made it clear that I have no interest in head games!

Best of luck

xcarriex

Unregistered wrote: »

Very quick and to the point, girls (suppose even guys) why is it important to play games, i.e not ringing etc. when ya want to but holding off, started something with someone there recently and think ive messed it up by coming on to strong.....hate this, if i like someone i like someone and thats it!!!!, just not into playing games but it seems im the only one......any insights would be really appreciated

To be honest, if she likes you i cant really understand why she is playing games, one thing i find it hard to find is someone who is honest and can say yeah i like ya they all seem to wanna see someone 'but not let it get serious' its so confusing, im not asking to get married, but its nice to have the prospect of it going somewhere,

Has the romance died, will i ever get that butterfly feeling again

I think you should speak to her, i was seen someone and it wasnt working and i was honest but i was fond of him but i didnt wanna be hanging around if things were going to be weird ya know and he asked could we remain friends, and rather than tell me his feelings werent going away he let me like come over and just hangout and one night it ended in tears he got REALLY touchy and i told him that i wasnt interested that way, and he knew this, then he start saying that i shouldnt have led him on,when all along he knew i wasnt feeling the same as him, if you like her talk to her, not in a serious way, in a i wanna know where i stand way, if she is a decent girl she will be honest!!!

PK2008

I'll tell you the answer that you dont want to hear

Its because nobody wants a desperate case. Im sorry to break it to you but its true.

If you fall head over heels for someone you hardly know then it reeks of desperation and not love, you're simply happy that anybody will go out with you. This does not make the other person feel special.

On the other hand if you take your time, get to know the person and let them know that you wont just settle for anything that comes along and they measure up to your standards and respect your boundaries (without being too stuck up) then they will feel special.

Its a delicate balance my friend.

Otis Driftwood

Unregistered wrote: »

Very quick and to the point, girls (suppose even guys) why is it important to play games, i.e not ringing etc. when ya want to but holding off, started something with someone there recently and think ive messed it up by coming on to strong.....hate this, if i like someone i like someone and thats it!!!!, just not into playing games but it seems im the only one......any insights would be really appreciated

How do you know she is holding off?

Maybe she just isnt interested and hasnt the cajones to tell you.

As for the whole game playing lark Ive gotten to the stage in my life that I will not tolerate it,if Im interested in a girl I will tell her.

If she is dodging calls/hemming and hawing etc then she gets the boot,no exceptions.

(figuratively,not literally)

CathyMoran

I never had time for people who played games - if they wanted to then we obviously were not suited, life is too short. Happily married to a man that ignored the rules too

Greyfox

PK2008 wrote: »

Its because nobody wants a desperate case. Im sorry to break it to you but its true.

If you fall head over heels for someone you hardly know then it reeks of desperation and not love, you're simply happy that anybody will go out with you. This does not make the other person feel special.

On the other hand if you take your time, get to know the person and let them know that you wont just settle for anything that comes along and they measure up to your standards and respect your boundaries (without being too stuck up) then they will feel special.

Its a delicate balance my friend.

Superb post, something that a lot of guys have to learn the hard way!

If your a desirable guy then you have other things to be doing in your life and don't have time to be texting all the time when you've just met someone.

When I meet someone new I mix my texts up between sometimes texting often, sometimes a bit slower then her and then sometimes I take ages to reply back rather that just texting when i feel like it...this may seem like playing games but I do it because I know for a fact that it works...a little bit of unpredictability is very, very attractive for both men and women...If she looks at her phone saying to herself why hasn't he text me back yet then your doing well!

Salome

I've often worn my heart on my sleeve and I've found that most guys don't like that.

This time around, I met a man who'd never heard of the rules and we just went with how we felt. We're together 2 years.

I don't there's anything wrong with being open with a new partner but if the new partner isn't on the same page as you then he/she will run for the hills if you're not the right one for them or if it's too much commitment too soon.