She makes everything into a contest

useful_contacts

I have a friend i have known 8 years- she has been doing this since ive known her but latley its constantly and its annoying the hell out of me
She turns everything into a competition- but does it slyly(or what she thinks is sly but i notice shes doing it)

Today my partner got a bonus in work and said that tomorrow night he was going to take me for dinner and dancing, i mentioned it to my friend(who told me she had to intention of going out cos they were broke)
She text me 5 minutes ago- her fellas taking her up the country to stay in a hotel and they are going for dinner and dancing.

Now i know it doesnt seem like much but this stuff is EVERY week its like shes trying to outdo me

Heres a few examples

• Last week my partner and i decided to get a pizza, i text her to get the no of the place, she asked what i was getting and i told her. An hour later she text me. They had ordered a meal deal twice the size of our one(and more expensive) AND they finished it(she made a big deal about that and laughed when i said we couldnt finish our one)

• I got a kitten recently for nothing off my sister, she pointed out that her dogs a purebread and cost way more than my cat did, also laughed when i paid the pet insurance for the year claiming i used a "Cheap" insurer (allianz is not bloody cheap) and that i was stupid to get pet insurance cos "Its not like he cost you anything. Oh and also "the vet i use is too cheap" and she pefers to use an expensive one so at least she knows her dogs in good hands

• Went shopping during the sales- got FAB new clothes for cheap and i was happy- until i showed her the clothes. She said she got them even cheaper than i did because she uses her sisters staff discount and that she was going getting loads more

• If we go cinema she will make it a point to tell me that she is going "tomorrow" and bringing her nieces as a treat(then bangs on about what a nice aunt she is treating her nieces etc)

• I took my 2 nieces to the beach last weekend, and she informed me she was going to bring hers to spain soon

WHY IS EVERYTHING A BLOODY CONTEST WITH HER!!!

or is this just me being oversensitive and reading into things way too much?

EDIT- these are only a few examples- theres loads more

easyeason3

I had a 'friend' like that. In the end I stopped all text messages, phone calls & e-mails because I hadn't the energy to listen to her lies.
If I had a pain in my hand, she had broken her arm. If I spent €200 on a dress, she spent €400 on one. You get the gist.

Anyway since I cooled off the friendship I have been more relaxed & happy. She really drained me & I certainly don't miss her 'friendship' one little bit.

Reesy

She sounds awfy insecure. We all have different ways of dealing with this kind of issue - but me, the next time I got something, I'd likely tell her 'and don't you think you have to compete with me'. If she did, I'd raise it again once she told me what she'd done - not aggressively or noisily, but in a kind of 'I-know-what-you're-up-to-and isn't-it-a-bit-silly?' kind of knowing way. You might even speculate (to her) how she might try to compete with something of yours, once you tell her about something. Do it in a friendly, teasing way, & maybe she'll cop herself on.

Dunno if this works for you - and by the way, it sounds to me like whatever the contest is, you win it!!

LegacyUser

I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of what the OP's friend tells her are complete lies. I know some girls like this, what's surprising is how relentlessly they pursue their lies. Every little thing has to be beaten by them and as I say much of it is completely fabricated.

useful_contacts

Reesy wrote: »

She sounds awfy insecure. We all have different ways of dealing with this kind of issue - but me, the next time I got something, I'd likely tell her 'and don't you think you have to compete with me'. If she did, I'd raise it again once she told me what she'd done - not aggressively or noisily, but in a kind of 'I-know-what-you're-up-to-and isn't-it-a-bit-silly?' kind of knowing way. You might even speculate (to her) how she might try to compete with something of yours, once you tell her about something. Do it in a friendly, teasing way, & maybe she'll cop herself on.

Dunno if this works for you - and by the way, it sounds to me like whatever the contest is, you win it!!

I have actually said this to her before and she says "Oh its not like that its just you put the idea of doing something into my head"

But come on its getting annoying, when me and my partner started saving for a house she started banging on about "They are going for a morgage too and that they wanted a massive house with 4 rooms a big garden near the best schools.....

And when my partner and i were talking about setting a wedding date all of a sudden "She has wedding magazines and were getting married in spain cos its tacky doing the whole marry in the brides home thing ...

Bla bla bloody bla

EDIT- she just text me asking what restaurant we eating in tomorrow night cos she knows the manager in a few places and could get us a good table

LegacyUser

I have a friend who behaves in a similar way to this e.g. if I say work is busy, then she is busier still - if I say I'm too tired to go for a night out, she is always more exhausted - if I'm sick, then she'll be sicker the next day. And what really gets to me is even if I'm the one on the phone telling her that I cant do something, she always turns it around & starts apologising to me - so that anybody listening thinks that she is so popular everybody is begging her to go out!! So I know exactly where you are coming from & it is really frustrating. I have now reached a stage where I just ignore her when she gets into that mode, as apart from that, she is a good friend & I dont want to fall out with her. It's just some kind of insecurity on her part & I've decided to live with it. I suppose you need to decide if you want to keep her as a friend or whether it's time to let go of the friendship. If you decide you still want her as a friend, just learn to ignore her when she goes into the "one upmanship" mode as she obviously is trying to make up for something that is lacking in her own life by trying to better you all the time.

Wurly

useful_contacts wrote: »

Bla bla bloody bla

Exactly! And that's what you should say to yourself when you get the next text/email from her. Oh really? That's great. And so forth...

Leave her to it. Ignore it. You cant change the behaviour of anyone else, you can only control how you react to it.

Cool off the contact if it gets really annoying. But honestly, i'd ignore it and not let it get to me. Why bother? It's quite pathetic behaviour on her part anyway and not worth getting irritated over.

LegacyUser

She sounds like a very competitive and insecure person. But you may also be feeding this behaviour by confiding in her or providing her with details of your personal life.

Distance yourself from her a little and contact her less often. Next time don't tell her about your wedding plans/shopping/cinema visits/pet insurance etc. Without these constant yardsticks she will hopefully find someone else to mimic and compete with.

boris232

Know a couple who were (unknown to themselves) always in competition with each other. Led to them getting deeply into debt. Even a friend of mine commented on it at my wedding.

Afterwards they broke up. However things still did not change. They are still in competition with each other. Noticed on Facebook the other night that when one does a quiz etc. the other one does the same one shortly afterwards.

So I think you have two choices here

1) either get rid of them as a friend or slowly wean them off
2) Learn to ignore it.

They are not going to change.

Best of luck

Nevyn

You have to either

a) drop her from your life
b) stop telling her so much about your life
C) learn to ignore her

really life is too short for that type of crap.

badabinbadaboom

It may sound like the easy way out, but if I had a friend like that I'd just get rid.
She only uses you to inflate her ego at the cost of your sanity and energy. Unless you get anything else out of the relationship then its IMO a good idea to just stop talking to her.

LegacyUser

badabinbadaboom wrote: »

It may sound like the easy way out, but if I had a friend like that I'd just get rid.
She only uses you to inflate her ego at the cost of your sanity and energy. Unless you get anything else out of the relationship then its IMO a good idea to just stop talking to her.

+1

I totally agree, are you at an age where you feel you dont need to put up with people like this in your life anymore, i found it was something i grew out of, you need to give yourself permission to let her go and move on, Funny you have underlined so strongly how she is making you feel and yet it is like your looking for someone else to tell you what to do, i mean deep down have you had enough? do you want to wean her out of your life and make way for some more positive people in your life,

it is actually a realization that you are not great friends, after all this time it is evident she is not going to get any better, once you make a decision to let her go from your life it will happen. G'luck.

Handsome Bob

useful_contacts wrote: »

(who told me she had to intention of going out cos they were broke)

Would you say that she and her partner are honestly broke or strapped for cash? If so, don't worry about it, because if your friend continues down this road of trying to one-up you she's going to eventually hit the wall financially speaking. She won't be trying to compete with you if she's debt ridden unless she has some kind of addiction to outdoing you.

useful_contacts

Unregistered wrote: »

+1

Funny you have underlined so strongly how she is making you feel and yet it is like your looking for someone else to tell you what to do, i mean deep down have you had enough? do you want to wean her out of your life and make way for some more positive people in your life,

Honestly i wasnt sure weather i was over reacting or not- i have a tendency(sp?) to overreact when theres actually nothing to react about so i wasnt sure

I actually dont give a crap if shes outdoing me- she can run a marathon for all i care- its just the "Im doing what your doing better" attitude its just annoying.

Whats going to happen when we have kids? Will she be competeing to give birth first? Who does better in school? who hits pubertiy first:mad:

az2wp0sye65487

There's a great (and fun) way to deal with people like this... but it does involve some trickery.

Begin telling your 'friend' about stuff you are planning on doing / have done. It can be anything, just make it up, even if you have no intention of doing any of it. The more un-beliveable the better, she'll invariably try to out-do you, so just play her at her own game. Every time she says something go on about how you've already been there done that...blah blah blah.

It will be fun to listen to her try and top, say, you winning a brand new car, or a holiday, whatever.

m'lady

useful_contacts wrote: »

Honestly i wasnt sure weather i was over reacting or not- i have a tendency(sp?) to overreact when theres actually nothing to react about so i wasnt sure

I actually dont give a crap if shes outdoing me- she can run a marathon for all i care- its just the "Im doing what your doing better" attitude its just annoying.

Whats going to happenen when we have kids? Will she be competeing to give birth first? Who does better in school? who hits pubertiy first:mad:

Lol...I have a 'friend' and when we were both pregnant she was so competitive I couldn't handle her! When our babies were 6 months old, I was really strapped for cash that particular month, and she knew it. She called and asked if I wanted to get out for a coffee, instead, she walked around the shopping centre buying loads of stuff for her baby,making me feel bad, I thought it was paranoia on my behalf, but now I realise it wasn't. She made me feel so bad, I cried my eyes out that night.

The sad thing is she is still like that, but I now know she survives on her credit card. I think its all about lack of security, but on my side I have learned to ignore her.. I would advise the op to do the same, people like that drag you down, its not worth it!

the_syco

Jedidiah Ancient Self-defense wrote: »

There's a great (and fun) way to deal with people like this... but it does involve some trickery.

Begin telling your 'friend' about stuff you are planning on doing / have done. It can be anything, just make it up, even if you have no intention of doing any of it. The more un-beliveable the better, she'll invariably try to out-do you, so just play her at her own game. Every time she says something go on about how you've already been there done that...blah blah blah.

It will be fun to listen to her try and top, say, you winning a brand new car, or a holiday, whatever.

Was going to say to do the same thing

OP: what events does she not like? Say you're going to them, and see her top it :P

LegacyUser

i don't understand why everyones suggesting ways to reciprocate her behaviour. If she's a friend you should accept it as one of her foibles. i have a friend who does all these things, her car is his better than everyones, one of its kind, 3 grand more than any similiar type(its a bleedin micra) or her brother came back off hoilday and bought her 600 quid worth of stuff (im sure his wife was delighted). But i just ignore it, it's just one of her characteristics. there are other elements of our friendship that supercedes this and if yours doesn't have that, why are you friends in the first place ?

Oh The Humanity

This type of carry on is unfortunately rampant in Irish society today.

It actually makes me sick.

You will get people getting themselves into serious debt trying to buy a lifestyle they cant afford, having babies they haven't properly thought about just to 'beat' some other one to it and making other totally unsuitable decisions just in order to play one-up-manship with whoever happens to have got under their skin.

Its a miserable way to exist and the only solution is to totally opt out of it. Get on with your own life and do what suits you, never complain, never explain.

Let your woman carry on living her life for some imagined audience.

Stop letting her get under your skin, if you are happy and confident in your own decisions it doesn't matter what she thinks/does.

Otherwise you are going to be caught into this fcuking boring soul destroying boasting at dinner parties mentality for the next 30 years. It will only get more and more ridiculous. Who's kid said 'BA!' first....Who's got the best lawnmower, who went on the best holiday...oh she is living beyond her means, oh she is scabby/tight...bla bla blah!

Its all meaningless! Dont get involved, time may have come to move on from her.

LegacyUser

You asked about OP 'what's gonna happen when we have kids' and having been in that situation, I can honestly say IT WILL GET WORSE!!

I had a friend like that - we were both single with no kids when we met - if I lost 1lb in WW, she lost 2lb (except funny enough, she never actually appeared to lose any weight!), if I won I was seeing a new bf who was treating me really well, she had 'loads' of men interested in her.

We both got pregnant around the same time and the pregnancy was a complete and utter nightmare! If I got morning sickness, she got it all day. The doctor made so many (supposed) comments to her about how big her baby was going to be...he turned out to be 5lb 4 in the end (funny that!).
Funny enough, I had a bad birth and hers was (of course) worse...I couldn't continue the 'friendship' because she had me completely drained by the time the babies were a few months...bottom line? Dump her..get rid..she's insecure and life is too short...!!

useful_contacts

sunflower27 wrote: »

The point of turning it around is so the 'friend' can see how truly ridiculous her behaviour is. By the sounds of it she has been this way a long time.

OP - have you ever thought to say it to her? Just be honest and mention the examples you did in this post.

yes as stated in a previous post i have said it to her. She says she doesnt do it and that i just remind her of things to do and "Im not the only one allowed get a pizza, buy a house, go to dinner etc...

LegacyUser

I think everyone has a friend that is like that and it can be quite frustrating but you just gotta either get on with it and except that has her flaw and still be friends or phase her out. She wont change over night, not if she has been like this after 8 years so you have to decide whats best
I have a friend I have known about 4 years and I love her to pieces but her flaw would be just talking about herself - constantly! We could go out for dinner or drinks and she wouldnt ask me how I would be. I would have to volunteer information to her and after 10 mins its like, ok, she has talked enough, now its my turn, and she just talks about herself for the rest of the night. If Im drunk enough it doesnt bother me and I just laugh about it
Or if she is seeing a new guy (im in a long term relationship) she would text the guy constantly, and then laugh to get my attention for me to ask her what was so funny so she can talk about him. It would get to the stage where she would laugh, id ignore her, she would laugh again and look at me, and i would look at her and smile and just do something so she would laugh again and be " oh XXX is sooooo funny, he just siad.." and off she would go
Yeah it would irritate me but I have known her for soooo long and if thats the worst of her personality, im a very lucky person

CDfm

Jedidiah Ancient Self-defense wrote: »

It will be fun to listen to her try and top, say, you winning a brand new car, or a holiday, whatever.

Or just tell her you are getting up at dawn for marathon training - did 10 k this morning

neuro-praxis

I find this thread really interesting - I've somehow managed never to have a friend like this!

If I were in your position and I wanted to keep the friend, I would sit her down and talk this through, however. I'd be as kind but as firm as possible. This habit which she may not really be aware of is destructive both for her personally and a great annoyance for the people around her.

If she responds badly and denies denies denies, just make your decision then whether you want to put up with it anymore or not.

However if she responds well, she may be able to get out of this habit and you'll have a better friendship for it.

useful_contacts

neuro-praxis wrote: »

I would sit her down and talk this through

Already did...

useful_contacts wrote: »

I have actually said this to her before and she says "Oh its not like that its just you put the idea of doing something into my head"

useful_contacts wrote: »

yes as stated in a previous post i have said it to her. She says she doesnt do it and that i just remind her of things to do and "Im not the only one allowed get a pizza, buy a house, go to dinner etc...

Plek Trum

Ask her did she manage to see the first episode of that new telly comedy drama
'May Contain Nuts' last night....

... it will definately give her food for thought!!!!

http://www.comedy.org.uk/guide/tv/may_contain_nuts/

Some perfect scenarios that would be all too familiar in it last night :rolleyes:

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

I think everyone has a friend that is like that and it can be quite frustrating but you just gotta either get on with it and except that has her flaw and still be friends or phase her out. She wont change over night, not if she has been like this after 8 years so you have to decide whats best
I have a friend I have known about 4 years and I love her to pieces but her flaw would be just talking about herself - constantly! We could go out for dinner or drinks and she wouldnt ask me how I would be. I would have to volunteer information to her and after 10 mins its like, ok, she has talked enough, now its my turn, and she just talks about herself for the rest of the night. If Im drunk enough it doesnt bother me and I just laugh about it
Or if she is seeing a new guy (im in a long term relationship) she would text the guy constantly, and then laugh to get my attention for me to ask her what was so funny so she can talk about him. It would get to the stage where she would laugh, id ignore her, she would laugh again and look at me, and i would look at her and smile and just do something so she would laugh again and be " oh XXX is sooooo funny, he just siad.." and off she would go
Yeah it would irritate me but I have known her for soooo long and if thats the worst of her personality, im a very lucky person

too funny, i just texted my friend this morning, telling her about a girl i used to work with that i bumped into in the shops, we used to be great friends, and how brilliant it was to see her etc and a waffly text. her reply was literally 1 line " oh good to near you are having a nice day" and then she proceeds to texts another 3 messages about her new boyfriend and her work. i got it and i burst out laughing I do love her, she just a wee bit mental. Arent we all!

CDfm

useful_contacts wrote: »

Already did...

does she have any qualities as a friend or does this outweigh them all.

Overheal

I would otherwise tell you to go put a tarantula in your mouth, wrestle a cobra or go skydiving just to see if she has any real balls..

But tbh.

Its time to call shennanigans on her. This sticks out at me:

"Im not the only one allowed get a pizza, buy a house, go to dinner etc...

Well then, that being the case, why does she need to know what youre doing all the time if her life is so robust? Mmm? Its time to call her on it. Yes she's a clear case of denial. But you need to make your position clear: that you're done.

You don't need to tell her what you're up to. You don't need to respond to her random texts - those annoying texts. I got rid of my phone over these kind of texts. The only reason I would ever ask, or answer, that kind of question is if I was trying to plan something with my friend. Why would she need to know what you were up to if she was already going to dinner etc?

As for

"Oh its not like that its just you put the idea of doing something into my head"

Frankly, if she can be so easily manipulated by a text message why don't you just tell her to ________________________. Thats whatever you want. "Oh I just cleaned my house spotless" "Oh I just ate snails" "Oh I just helped my neighbour inseminate his cattle" whatever. I'd tell her "I ****ed off and left you alone" tbh

Loomis

I've had similar experiences but it was almost always was an issue with money. Wanting to outdo you regarding what they've spent on something or knowing someone who spent more. You really have to switch off when it starts or literally tell her nothing about what you buy or where you go.

Or you could always say you got shagged by five fellas and when she says she's done 6 call her a slut and laugh.

missmatty

Had a friend of long-time standing who was just like this. Now I ignored it for a long time as I am an easy-going person but the carry-on stayed the same till we were in our mid-twenties and she was still acting the way she had when we were 14. My patience got thinner as time went on. She was never happy for me or interested about my exams, hols, etc, she always had bigger and better plans and talked incessantly about herself. In the end I kind of froze her out. We never fought, just fell out of touch. Bumped into her in a cafe a couple of years later in the kind of situation where I had to sit down for a chat. Talking about this and that and I mentioned I was just back from Barcelona the day before. She says

''Well you may have had a few days in Barcelona but I am MOVING there in six months time''.

Never changed. Pure shoite, she never did. Can't tell you how happy I am without her.

Twinkle-star15

I have a friend who's just like that too.
I didn't mind the one-upping too much, it was the lying that got to me :P.
Eventually I just kinda cooled off the friendship- I still talked to her and stuff, but I didn't really see her outside of school.
We're not close now, but we are on good terms, so I'd advise that- just back away a little for a while, and maybe not talk to her as much in the future.
Good Luck!

kravmaga

useful_contacts wrote: »

I have a friend i have known 8 years- she has been doing this since ive known her but latley its constantly and its annoying the hell out of me
She turns everything into a competition- but does it slyly(or what she thinks is sly but i notice shes doing it)

Today my partner got a bonus in work and said that tomorrow night he was going to take me for dinner and dancing, i mentioned it to my friend(who told me she had to intention of going out cos they were broke)
She text me 5 minutes ago- her fellas taking her up the country to stay in a hotel and they are going for dinner and dancing.

Now i know it doesnt seem like much but this stuff is EVERY week its like shes trying to outdo me

Heres a few examples

• Last week my partner and i decided to get a pizza, i text her to get the no of the place, she asked what i was getting and i told her. An hour later she text me. They had ordered a meal deal twice the size of our one(and more expensive) AND they finished it(she made a big deal about that and laughed when i said we couldnt finish our one)

• I got a kitten recently for nothing off my sister, she pointed out that her dogs a purebread and cost way more than my cat did, also laughed when i paid the pet insurance for the year claiming i used a "Cheap" insurer (allianz is not bloody cheap) and that i was stupid to get pet insurance cos "Its not like he cost you anything. Oh and also "the vet i use is too cheap" and she pefers to use an expensive one so at least she knows her dogs in good hands

• Went shopping during the sales- got FAB new clothes for cheap and i was happy- until i showed her the clothes. She said she got them even cheaper than i did because she uses her sisters staff discount and that she was going getting loads more

• If we go cinema she will make it a point to tell me that she is going "tomorrow" and bringing her nieces as a treat(then bangs on about what a nice aunt she is treating her nieces etc)

• I took my 2 nieces to the beach last weekend, and she informed me she was going to bring hers to spain soon

WHY IS EVERYTHING A BLOODY CONTEST WITH HER!!!

or is this just me being oversensitive and reading into things way too much?

EDIT- these are only a few examples- theres loads more

Is she really a friend to you or just someone you text and email?.
She sounds like a pain in the a***

I think we all know somebody like that.

Maybe she is jealous of you are really insecure deep down, it sounds like all a show with her.

Well thats just my personal opinion

LegacyUser

useful_contacts wrote: »

Honestly i wasnt sure weather i was over reacting or not- i have a tendency(sp?) to overreact when theres actually nothing to react about so i wasnt sure

I actually dont give a crap if shes outdoing me- she can run a marathon for all i care- its just the "Im doing what your doing better" attitude its just annoying.

Whats going to happen when we have kids? Will she be competeing to give birth first? Who does better in school? who hits pubertiy first:mad:

You should not have doubts in yourself that you are over-reacting, where has this come from, what happens when you discuss this with your boyfriend? does he feel the same about her or does he think your friend is not that bad?

I dont agree that you should test her or go for tit for tat when she does it again, it would not be an effective way to deal with the situation.


I would feel that you either accept your friend as she is or not be friends with her, what are you thinking of doing to resolve the issue now?

useful_contacts

blueeyedboy wrote: »

Is she really a friend to you or just someone you text and email?.

I have known her 8 years - she is supposed to be one of my best friends(but avoiding her now shes started this constantly) we used to be v close

Even my partners on to her- she rang his phone the other day and he looked down and saw her name and said "Oh look its Ann- more than likley calling to tell us how much more rent she pays than us"

useful_contacts

Unregistered wrote: »

You should not have doubts in yourself that you are over-reacting, where has this come from, what happens when you discuss this with your boyfriend? does he feel the same about her or does he think your friend is not that bad?

I dont agree that you should test her or go for tit for tat when she does it again, it would not be an effective way to deal with the situation.


I would feel that you either accept your friend as she is or not be friends with her, what are you thinking of doing to resolve the issue now?

I overreact sometimes to situations where i think theres a prob when theres not. But it seems there is one.

My partners the same (see previous post) and my sister knows exactly what shes like too , she met her in tesco one day and had steak in her trolley and my friend started on about "she got a pile of steak for half nothing from a farmer she knows" Bla bla bla

Only thing i can think of is to limit contact with her because ive said it to her and she thinks i am overreacting to a prob thats not there

useful_contacts

She started again friday night, after we had dinner she text me asking how was the meal, then started banging on about she would have gotten the meal cheaper cos she knows the owner, and when i mentioned that my sister(who we bumped into at dinner and ended up eating with her and her bf) knew the owner for years and that he sent over a free bottle of wine to our table she got SO defensive "Oh well my mother used to date him years ago so she knows him way longer than your sister..."

so i spoke to her AGAIN about this over the weekend. pointed out a load of times where she did it including recent ones and she said im crazy and "I must have no life if im worried about it so much"

I got mad and basically told her to piss off, she called me an hour later and said she is sorry but that im crazy and im making things up. :mad: Then proceeded to tell me i ruined her weekend with my "wingeing" I got so mad i hung up.

NickNolte

useful_contacts wrote: »

She started again friday night, after we had dinner she text me asking how was the meal, then started banging on about she would have gotten the meal cheaper cos she knows the owner, and when i mentioned that my sister(who we bumped into at dinner and ended up eating with her and her bf) knew the owner for years and that he sent over a free bottle of wine to our table she got SO defensive "Oh well my mother used to date him years ago so she knows him way longer than your sister..."

Why? Why did you insist on elaborating and telling her about the free bottle of wine? Why do you insist on constantly giving her fuel for her green eyed fire?

It takes two to tango and maybe if you stop boasting, she'll stop being petty and jealous.

CDfm

useful_contacts wrote: »

..........she said im crazy and "I must have no life if im worried about it so much"

I got mad and basically told her to piss off, she called me an hour later and said she is sorry but that im crazy and im making things up. :mad: Then proceeded to tell me i ruined her weekend with my "wingeing" I got so mad i hung up.

Well it can only go on while you are willing to play her game and you are. Once you stop and there is no payoff for her by you reacting it will continue.

Like Nick Nolte says why feed her the tidbits for her mad comparisons and if she does say something just reply with a disinterested "Thats nice" and it will peter out.

LegacyUser

sunflower27 wrote: »

Text her back that you don't need a table... that your partner has been doing a carpentry class in the evening and has made a table and you will be bringing that to the restaurant.

Brilliant answer!

rainbowtrout

useful_contacts wrote: »

She started again friday night, after we had dinner she text me asking how was the meal, then started banging on about she would have gotten the meal cheaper cos she knows the owner, and when i mentioned that my sister(who we bumped into at dinner and ended up eating with her and her bf) knew the owner for years and that he sent over a free bottle of wine to our table she got SO defensive "Oh well my mother used to date him years ago so she knows him way longer than your sister..."

so i spoke to her AGAIN about this over the weekend. pointed out a load of times where she did it including recent ones and she said im crazy and "I must have no life if im worried about it so much"

I got mad and basically told her to piss off, she called me an hour later and said she is sorry but that im crazy and im making things up. :mad: Then proceeded to tell me i ruined her weekend with my "wingeing" I got so mad i hung up.

Why did you reply? She can't compare if she doesn't have any information.

OR if you must reply keep it short and sweet, no info.

-How was the meal?
-Grand.

You don't need to say anymore, if anything at all.

smcelhinney

quick question: what does she bring to your friendship?

The answer to that will determine whether or not you have space for her and her ego in your life.

Pyr0

useful_contacts wrote: »

She started again friday night, after we had dinner she text me asking how was the meal, then started banging on about she would have gotten the meal cheaper cos she knows the owner, and when i mentioned that my sister(who we bumped into at dinner and ended up eating with her and her bf) knew the owner for years and that he sent over a free bottle of wine to our table she got SO defensive "Oh well my mother used to date him years ago so she knows him way longer than your sister..."

so i spoke to her AGAIN about this over the weekend. pointed out a load of times where she did it including recent ones and she said im crazy and "I must have no life if im worried about it so much"

I got mad and basically told her to piss off, she called me an hour later and said she is sorry but that im crazy and im making things up. :mad: Then proceeded to tell me i ruined her weekend with my "wingeing" I got so mad i hung up.

I think it's time to get rid of her.