Closet smoker

boiledbunny

hi all,

i'm a female closet smoker and its tearing me up. i've been a smoker for a few years now and somehow managed never to get caught, and now i feel im too old to come out to people as a smoker lest they judge me. i just want to now if anyone else has such a secret? lke, i'm going for coffee in a minute with other girls from college, i know they'll smoke, and i just want to have the confidence to pull out my pouch of samson and light up with them!

help!

RossFixxxed

As a smoker, who quits as much as smokes, I've learned one thing. Either just totally give them up altogether, or light them up and smoke them away. Hiding in the middle is the luke warm tea approach and it does make you feel bad. I'm not advocating smoking (cos its pants) but you are an adult and it is up to you, if you wanna smoke, then do it with your head held high!

red_ice

i dont mean to offend you but that's ridiculous! Being afraid of your age and starting to smoke. If your friends judge you for smoking they arent really your friends.

I stopped smoking 6 months ago, but prior to that if anyone said anything to me about smoking id tell them where to go and what to do with themselves.

If you really dont want to draw attention to yourself, roll up a couple of smokes and have them ready so that you dont have to sit there and roll while they get over the 'shock' of you smoking. just take one out and light up.

Gone Drinking

If you're afraid of telling people who smoke, they won't care. If you're afraid of telling people who don't smoke, they probably already know.

My girlfriend knows when ive been smoking from 100 yards. Damn their non smoking sense of smell.

Genghiz Cohen

If anything were to make me judge you, it was the fact that you think no one knows. Cigs smell and stain teeth, can you really say no one has any idea.

Light em up if you must but don't think you are hiding anything.

fifomania

OP, there's every chance people who know you already know you smoke. You can usually smell cigarette smoke off smokers a mile away!
I think you should just pull out your packet and smoke away.
I used to hide smoking even though most people around me knew and looking back it was just so stupid.
If you do it and are happy at it there's no need to hide, plus you are old enough.

cafecolour

You go, you pull out the pouch, at the most one of the girls says "I didn't know you smoked" and you reply something like "Yeah, on and off for a few years now. Currently back on." And the job is done.

Having said that, I'd recommend quitting if you can, and I'd say you have a better chance of quitting if not everyone thinks of you as a smoker already.

LegacyUser

boiledbunny wrote: »

hi all,

i'm a female closet smoker and its tearing me up. i've been a smoker for a few years now and somehow managed never to get caught, and now i feel im too old to come out to people as a smoker lest they judge me. i just want to now if anyone else has such a secret? lke, i'm going for coffee in a minute with other girls from college, i know they'll smoke, and i just want to have the confidence to pull out my pouch of samson and light up with them!

help!

Hi OP. I am in a similar situation. Been a closet smoker for a few years. Been caught out once or twice but managed to fudge/lie/deny my way out of it. I don't know why i even started as I was anti-smoking when i was young. it was something to do with a girl i guess.
anyway, i dunno about you but i've read the things we keep secret are the things we are ashamed of. I know i am fairly ashamed of it anyway.
although I do enjoy a sneaky smoke and am the master of excuses and coming up with excuses to need to be somewhere else for a few minutes, or nipping to the bank on nights out or going to make a phone call. the worst thing is i think a good few people know but either like me too much to confront me or are a bit puzzled/ashamed/embarrassed by my behaviour.
actually am glad you've posted as i've wanted to get views on this for a while so hopefully you'll come back to me on it.
oh, and ive tried giving up but the longest i've gone is about 2 or 3 weeks. i've realised lately though that i've enough of it for health and self-esteem reasons.
any views would be great. i'm glad this isn't in the smokers forum because for me it's not a smoking issue per se, i think it runs deeper.

Ass

just keep smoking op. dont be afraid to come out of the closet either. dont let the self righteous non smokers dissuade you.

CDfm

closet smoking is great fun as it means you are not that hung up and have some level of control

40 fags a day is awful and i cant quit.

havana

I'm a closet smoker too. I smoke at home and with certain of my friends but never in work or with my family and some of my non smoking friends. It's like being 15 again. The reason i don't tell everyone is cos i was off them so long and don't want to listen to the 'aw but you were doing so well.' but it also helps in that there are certain situations when i can go for hours without one. Once i leave for work i don't have one for 11 hours and if i'm out with certain friends I'll go the whole night without one. This also means that if i really put my mind to it i could probably give up again, but i do think i'm a 'situational' smoker if that makes sense. So at home with the other half who smokes or out with friends who know I smoke I'll always do it.

VinnyTGM

My brother used to hide his smoking habit and he thought no-one knew, everyone knew. Just like everyone knows about you, just light away.

wylo

I recommend that you should stay as a closet smoker as you'll smoke less. You will probably double the amount you smoke once you stop caring about people knowing.

I can kinda sympathise as both my parents smoke and they know I smoke while drinking but dont know I smoke other than that.
I have never ever smoked in front of them and would be mortified to this day if I was caught. If I smoked in front of them at home I would smoking probably a box a day, I only smoke around 6 or 7 now which is still too much.

LegacyUser

I'm a closet smoker who is currently in the process of 'coming out.' I recently started a new job and started smoking there on the first day, no legacy of having been a non smoker so the only comments have been the usual things that you get from people like 'You *do* know thats bad for you right?.' It's amazing how much you look forward to going to work when its pretty much the only place you're yourself.

I also started smoking around some of my friends which was really weird at first. A bit of light hearted slagging was all I got.

I think in our heads we make it out to be much worse than it actually is. That said though, it'll be a long time if ever I tell my family... I don't think i'd ever hear the end of it.

My advice would be that it's always better to be yourself than not.. if that includes smoking then screw what everyone else thinks. Smoking is bad enough for your health without the added stress of hiding it and worrying if someone is getting too close. (says the 26 year old too ashamed to let his family know)

Best of luck OP.

missmatty

I moved house a year ago and said I didn't smoke cos I really wanted to move in and I thought then I would give up :rolleyes: Cue much sneaking around the back and hanging out the window. I'm sure the girl who owns the house knows, she must smell it. The other girl smokes as well but i don't know if the landlady knows. It's so silly!
Although I have recently started doing it openly I don't know if she's seen me yet.

Mary D

Just smoke in front of them, if you feel a bit funny about how you're going to explain to them that you smoke, just tell them that you always had an odd one here or there and seeing them smoke has put the gue on you for a smoke, once you smoke in front of them once, they won't raise the issue again. Happy Smoking.

BTW, RB, Feck Off and welcome to this century

CDfm

missmatty wrote: »

I moved house a year ago and said I didn't smoke cos I really wanted to move in and I thought then I would give up :rolleyes: Cue much sneaking around the back and hanging out the window. I'm sure the girl who owns the house knows, she must smell it. The other girl smokes as well but i don't know if the landlady knows. It's so silly!
Although I have recently started doing it openly I don't know if she's seen me yet.

It must be a great house to go to all this effort.

What age are you going thru all this subterfuge and the landlady ??

Kersmash

<snip>

OP, I think you'll find the worst you'll get is some slagging, maybe some self-righteous preaching from those that don't smoke. It's your business, if you wanna smoke, then smoke. If you wanna smoke rollies, then smoke away, be happy.

Overheal

<snip>

OP I wonder if you don't have some serious insecurity issues that you need to address, which may go beyond your closet smoking. This idea that you're afraid people will judge you. Surely that attitude must affect you in other areas of your life, when you think about it?

dudara

A wee bit of a pre-emptive strike here. Can posters please leave the anti-smoking/pro civil rights etc arguments at home? This is not the place.

dudara

Xiney

Off topic and unhelpful posts will earn you a ban from this forum.

If a post is off topic, please don't reply to it, but report it.

Ta.

Xiney

Edit: woo, high five dudara!