Moved away

yellowstar

Hey,
So I moved to a different country a couple of months ago in Asia where I dont speak d language and i doubt il end up learning it to be honest. I came over here because of work. I had a **** job at home and always wanted to travel. My plan is to save up and move on. Anyway the reason Im posting here is because I need some advice.... Im so lonely. Ive travelled on my own before but never so independently. Like ive never moved somewhere where Ive had noone or no support at all (except from home) and Im finding it really hard. I only know a handful of people here and Im finding it really hard to meet people. I was just wondering if anyone has been in d same boats or has any words of advice cos the way Im feeling at the moment Im nearly ready to give up and move home.

r3nu4l

There's nearly always an ex-pat or English speaking community group in major cities in Asia, finding them might be a bit hard but they are there!

Try a Google search for 'expatriate in [city name]', it may or may not help...

Any chance your workplace can help you find such a group? Do many people in your work place speak English? Are they in any clubs or societies that speak English?

Barracudaincork

I havent moved where i couldnt speak the language but i have moved to a new countries etc where i knew no one. I know how hard it can be, what i did was join heaps of different things, as the previous poster said look up ex-pat things on the net, i know there is GAA clubs in Singapore for example.

There is no shame in being home sick and coming home but i personally think you should try and ride it out a little longer, these things take time and you will look back and think how you built a new life from scratch and be proud of yourself, IMO.

LegacyUser

What part of Asia are you in?

I find that as a nation we're lucky that we usually can just turn up at the local Irish bar... failing that, head to where the travellers are hanging out...

Or, move into a hostel at weekends/random nights during the week. Probably would be cheap enough but you'll always meet people at a hostel.

Sign up to a couch surfing website and invite travellers into your house/apartment. They stay with you for a couple of days and you can show them around the city if you like. Instant friends.

I have travelled on my own many times. I would take a book to a pub and sit at the bar. OR bring an English language newspaper... there'll always be someone sitting at the bar up strike up conversation with and the paper can draw them to you.

Or, why not volunteer to teach English - you get to interact with locals.

It can be hard on one's own. I went through bouts of "I've no one to talk to". It's easier when you're on the move though as you bump into people on trains, planes and buses.

If you find that you really aren;t happy then come home. But, before you do, give yourself 4 weeks.... travel for those 4 weeks and see how you feel afterwards. Give yourself a holiday before you get on that plane back. What it will cost is nothing compared to what you'll spend back here so make the most of it.

Remember, most people would never have had the balls to do what you've done so well done.

Also, most people don;t have the balls to come home if they're not happy and pride keeps them away - "I said I was going to be away for a year and if I go home now I'll look like a tool" - no-one thinks that. They won't even bat an eyelid and will be happy to see you.

yellowstar

hey guys thanx for the replies. I dont want to give up just yet ive only been livin here for a month now and I have so many plans its just sometimes I get down and its really hard. Ive done the whole travelling around thing before settling here and on my days off im gonna head away again as wel. I loved travelling around, met so many people, its alot easier travelling the whole time always in contact with new people. Not really the case when you stay in one place. Just found out Ive 5 days off in 3 weeks so il head to the beach for some happy time!! Its just im livin on my own for the first time, eat on my own all the time. Cheaper to eat out amd hav no kitchen!! and i think thats what gets me the most. I do know people from work but everyone seems to do their own thing. Their all settled here for good and theres no real outside work association. There is one girl whos in a similar situation to me, we go out wkds wit some of her friends but she lives the opposite side of the city so we dont socialise during the week really. Im just gonna try pick up extra work and concentrate on that, maybe ill meet people that way. I am in contact wit locals but although we get on in work they dont seem interested in being friends outside of it, I think the language barrier and age differences could be the reason. Their are alot of foreigners here its just I want to meet people who live here, that arent just travelling through so il see if anythin pops up on the net. Thanx again:D

LegacyUser

if you said what country you were in ppl might be able to give you better info/advice!

yellowstar

hey sorry im in Bangkok

nitrogen

Hi yellowstar,

I lived there many years ago and loved every second of it, so I hope you won't bail early.

You mentioned you weren't interested in the language, but even if you sign up for some group lessons at a language school (Which are cheap), you are bound to meet people living there.

Online dating is quite common to meet new people in that city, not just for guys meeting Thai girls, but expats meeting expats.

Many expatriate pubs line Silom and Sukhumvit Soi 4, but I would avoid Khao San Road as it's mostly people passing through, which you probably know.

Hope life gets more enjoyable for you.

Overheal

Surely there must be an Irelandtown or something the same way many metropolitans around the world have a Chinatown.

Try exploring the city a bit. Look for signs of english speaking life. They must be there somewhere. Check craigslist actually now that ive thunk it.

Bangkok Craigslist

the strictly platonic personals or the community section might be a good a place as any to start your search.

spongeman

Yeah I lived there for a few years as well.....ended up that I did'nt miss Ireland at all!

The first thing you must do is learn to speak Thai, that will keep you busy.

Also log onto Thaivisa.com, that is an AMAZING resource for expats in Thailand.

spongeman

Just be careful though about working without a work permit in Thailand at the moment though......a lot of heat going down.

What kind of job do you have there ?

yellowstar

Im teaching at the mo and im sorting my work visa this week so that wont be a problem. I mite actually try a thai class. It could be fun to learn a little bit more thai. Ive started already but very basics and I keep mixin it up! Ive heard bout thaivisa so il check it out. Thanx for all the ideas