My dream has messed me up

LegacyUser

Dreams.. why do we have them I've always been able to forget the nightmares but it's the so called 'good dreams' that stick with me more. They present such a perfect world.

Last night I dreamt that I was with somebody that has rejected me constantly for the last year or so. Whenever she has an issue, she never holds back on telling me how lonely she is and never holds back on fishing for compliments.

Recently the above happened and I tried to humour her, complimenting her etc (she's actually one of the best looking girls I know, bit like Lily Allen without the cockney accent) and I tried to cheer her up, without success. A few days later I asked if she wanted to hang out (nothing shocking as we're already friends - the kind of friends that fall in and out of touch with each other though). I asked if she wanted to go see a movie the next day, it might take her mind off things. She said that she'd never ever let anyone pay for her, when I replied I enquired if we could just hang out then. Naturally she didn't reply.

I've had plenty of disappointments with women before and I feel like each one has help me grow a little bit. I've dealt with them quite well recently, I've had a lot on my plate and though the fact that I've been single almost an eternity plays on my mind, I haven't let it get me down.

But this dream has just sent me back to square one. This kind of thing has happened before and I dont think I have any control over it, I'd rather I didn't dream at all. Effectively I'm a student without a job and I've actually been quite active this summer with fitness and music etc but today, I didn't get up until after midday and I pretty much sulked all day.

Naturally the thoughts running through my mind have brought on many other bad memories and images of untouchability. I fought hard to hold back tears earlier, something I haven't had to do in a long time. All over a dream

Firetrap

It's only a dream though I kind of know how you feel. I had a dream a while back where I met the love of my life (I've no specific person in mind btw) and my head ran through some sort of romance with him. When I woke up and realised what'd happened, I felt a little bit sad.

The main thing to remember is that it's only a dream. Your brain's way of working things through. Don't let this Lily Allen-alike woman get in on you. She sounds like she could potentially wreck your head. Keep yourself busy and active for the summer, even if you don't have a job.

Rb

You're infatuated with someone who doesn't have feelings for you i.e it's completely unrequited, if she uses you to cheer herself up then you've an even bigger problem.

I'm afraid, for your own good, the only thing to do is break contact with her. It sucks in the long term but you'll get over her, but you can't keep living like that.

LegacyUser

You guys are totally right, there's just things niggling at me that wont go away. for a start, I play in a band. One day she came along to a gig to take photos for us. After a couple more gigs she ended up really liking one of the other lads. Thankfully for my own sanity he didn't feel the same way but it still really affected me as to why him and not me.

But like I said, you guys are totally right, jut easier said than done

Rb

It's easy to break contact, but it's hard to maintain that break.

Whatever you do, do not sit her down to explain it or it will come back to haunt you.

Best of luck with it.

coadyj

friendville................it sucks, but on the flip-side I can pretty much guarantee that you will get over it. You need to stop being her complement person, and I know its easier said then done. I'm not saying break contact with her, but don't expect anything to happen, if anything did, it would be like the last episode of season 2 of the inbetweeners. Which would have you worse.

Ive been kinda lucky in my life that this hasn't happened to me too much, but I have dated a few girls I really liked only to have it end prematurely, sometimes it feels worse.

I know the exact dreams you are talking about too, they seem so real, but they just dreams. When you get older you will find that you don't really have as many crushes.

My problem is I haven't met anyone I fancy for years, nobody give me the same feeling you have about this girl so at least you still have that ability to have a crush

Rb

coadyj wrote: »

friendville................it sucks, but on the flip-side I can pretty much guarantee that you will get over it. You need to stop being her complement person, and I know its easier said then done. I'm not saying break contact with her, but don't expect anything to happen, if anything did, it would be like the last episode of season 2 of the inbetweeners. Which would have you worse.

Ive been kinda lucky in my life that this hasn't happened to me too much, but I have dated a few girls I really liked only to have it end prematurely, sometimes it feels worse.

I know the exact dreams you are talking about too, they seem so real, but they just dreams. When you get older you will find that you don't really have as many crushes.

My problem is I haven't met anyone I fancy for years, nobody give me the same feeling you have about this girl so at least you still have that ability to have a crush

If he doesn't completely break contact with her, he'll keep stringing himself along and dragging this out, resulting in it hurting him more when it does end.