Heavy Shoulders

LegacyUser

I met my girlfriend, through her sister who's going out with a friend of mine. They've been going out for about 4 years, we've been going out for nearly 3.

My girlfriends sister has always been a bit of a slag, she constantly flirts with people when she's drunk and i know shes kissed and maybe done things alittle worse with a guy or two over the years. Her boyfriend knows of one incident, but he's so in love he let it slide. She really does love her boyfriend though (i think), and they have all sorts of plans for the future.

So they're not Irish, and they went home for five days just recently. When they came back my girlfriend told me that her sister had slept with a guy she used to sleep with, back home. The next day she went to the doctor to get the morning after pill and found out she's pregnant. The baby being my friends, as shes gone three weeks. My girlfriends delighted, she's just dying to be an Auntie.

I however am sick to the stomach. If my friend knew my girlfriend had done something behind my back, and not told me, id go nuts. Yet, i haven't told him anything, because if i did, my girlfriend would be in the **** with her sister because she's not meant to have told anyone.

I can't see them breaking up, not even if i told him, A) because hes so mad about her and she's carrying his kid now. So there really isn't any point.

This is a horrible position to be in, im just going to slide back and be happy about everything but really, i feel like ****.

The Recliner

Is there a question in there OP?

What are you looking for advice on other than they fact that you are in a sh!tty position?

puglover

Op it's not your place to say anything.

Not only that, but your girlfriend obviously told you this because she trusts you do you also want to break her trust? What if this was to cause a rift between her and her sister or even the family? She may never forgive you. Are you willing to risk that?

Oh The Humanity

Say fcuk all, seriously.

And tell your girlfriend not to tell you any more stories about her any more.

The fella forgave her for cheating before so he knows the score, if he wants to be a mug, let him.

He probably wouldnt thank you for enlightening him.

LegacyUser

I'm not going to say anything, i can't, for obvious reasons.

I just suppose i posted because i feel bad, i feel like im being a bad friend. I'd hate if my mate didn't tell me this stuff was happening behind my back.

I think the best advice i've gotten here is to tell my girlfriend to stop telling me whats happening, because its only making me feel like this.

Plek Trum

Sorry to stir the pot here now, but can your girlfriends sister be 100% sure this baby is your friends?? That would be my initial and first concern and has SERIOUS implications down the line, especially now that you know.

Have a good honest talk with your girlfriend about your genuine concerns and your confusion about being torn between loyalty to your friend.

DO NOT, however, call your girlfriends sister a 'slag'. Whatever your opinions on her actions this is disrespectful to her AND your girlfriend and Im sure would not be appreciated.

Overheal

Plek Trum wrote: »

DO NOT, however, call your girlfriends sister a 'slag'. Whatever your opinions on her actions this is disrespectful to her AND your girlfriend and Im sure would not be appreciated.

yeah youre not helping yourself with that mindset whatsoever.

LegacyUser

She's only did the dirt on him when shes been away alone, or home alone (ie, he went on holidays two years ago). She hasn't done anything in the past few months because hes always been around and they live together. She'd have told my girlfriend if she even suspected it wasn't his, so im 100% sure it is.

shellyboo

Plek Trum wrote: »

Sorry to stir the pot here now, but can your girlfriends sister be 100% sure this baby is your friends?? That would be my initial and first concern and has SERIOUS implications down the line, especially now that you know.

You can't get a positive pregnancy test the day after you've slept with someone. She had to have been already pregnant when she slept with the guy.


OP, I think the best thing to do is to talk to your gf. Tell her you don't agree with the way her sister behaves, and it's putting you in an awkward position with your friend. There's nothing you can do to change the sister's behaviour, though.

LegacyUser

I retract the slag statement, im not one for insults and it was out of order. I'm just feeling ab bit pissed off.

Dr.Sanchez

Popey wrote: »

Is there a question in there OP?

What are you looking for advice on other than they fact that you are in a sh!tty position?

I'm assuming he wants to know what other people would do in his situation...

Overheal

OK: I wouldn't tell him. What would you accomplish? 1) your own girlfriend would be in sh!t soup, 2) She would still be pregnant and 3) He would have a new reason to leave her high and dry. And Pregnant.

Wagon

heavyshoulders wrote: »

I retract the slag statement, im not one for insults and it was out of order. I'm just feeling ab bit pissed off.

Why? It doesn't seem very inaccurate?

Even so, i'd keep my mouth shut. Nothing good can come of telling people. It's their life.

Rb

She is a complete and utter "slag" by the sounds of it and don't be ashamed to say it.

A woman of her calibre doesn't deserve respect, her actions do not gain her it, so don't be afraid to neglect to give her it.

By taking her back after she cheated before, he now deserves anything he gets. It's a ****ty position for him, but had any balls he'd have walked after the first incident.

You can't say anything but I would distance yourself from her and ask your girlfriend to keep her out of your life, people like that are trouble and they'll only bring trouble into your otherwise (presumably) relatively trouble free life.

Clueless09

I think you should tell your mate. She went to get the morning after pill and found out she was pregnant already and not by the last person she slept with-that says it all right there.
So how does she know she doesnt have an STD?? she obviously wasnt careful if she was going for the morning after pill. How would you feel if she passed one to your mate? And ya i know his health is not your responsibility but he is your friend.
And so what if he left her high and dry as another poster said?? That doesnt mean he couldnt look after his child (thats assuming it is his and not someone else she slept with) He can still be a father-that duty does not come with a responsiblity to look after the mother of a child, especially one who clearly has so little respect for him or herself for that matter.

ronkmonster

if i were the friend I'd want to know.

he forgave her one, his choice and can't change that.
now another situation has come up, let him decide what he wants to do this time.

muppetkiller

My opinion is to tell him and the sooner the better before he get's over the moon about becoming a dad. And tell your gf you're going to as well.

She obviously has no respect for your friend and she's cheated on him many times in the past. He needs to be rid of her. If she's really pregnant with another mans baby then he should be paying to raise it.

I'd question the type of person your girlfriend is also where by she tells you all this and expects you just to accept it.

You being in the Sh$%house for telling the truth is a small price to pay for rescuing your friend from a possible future nightmare relationship with a complete slag. I wonder who the father of the next baby will be :rolleyes:

Wagon

Rb wrote: »

By taking her back after she cheated before, he now deserves anything he gets. It's a ****ty position for him, but had any balls he'd have walked after the first incident.

Actually, i don't completely agree with this. Some people are capable of forgiveness in these situations. It's a nice attribute to have and when you're in love with someone it can seem like the better option and trust them when they say they'll never do it again.

but here's the thing, the bitch has kept on going behind his back. He only forgave her once and he trusts her but he doesnt' know that it's happened again since. I think he'd hit the roof if he found out what happened and get rid of her. He's being made look like a complete fool and he hasn't got any idea so i wouldn't say the poor bloke deserves this.

Actually on second thoughts, i don't know if id keep my mouth shut. The woman is a complete slapper and you're mate deserves to know what's going on. Also OP, your girlfriend needs to cop on here too. Just because it's her sister doesn't mean the sun shines out her arse. A family is there to help you, but can give you a kick up the arse too when you need it.

GeorgeCostanza

heavyshoulders wrote: »

I retract the slag statement, im not one for insults and it was out of order. I'm just feeling ab bit pissed off.

Dude, I don't think you need to apologise to anyone on this thread for using that word to describe someone you know. By the sounds of things, it sums her up.

Ask yourself this: if you were in your friends position and he knew about it, would you want him to tell you? What if he finds out later, and also finds out you knew ... ?

bronte

What a horrible cow his girlfriend is.

If it were me, I'd want to know...if he were to find out years later that you knew all along he'd be pretty angry.

Does your girlfriend not think her sister's behaviour is despicable?

You should tell him immediately. He deserves to know.

username123

Very nasty position to be in, torn between loyalty to your GF and loyalty to your friend. You cant break her trust by telling though, because she told you in confidence and if you told her something in confidence you wouldnt appreciate her telling it on. However how would she feel if your mate was cheating on her sister and you knew but kept it quiet? Perhaps you should ask her this.

I think your GFs behaviour is pretty shocking - why is she not telling her sister to fess up? Theres a pair of them hiding this behaviour, if I were you I would be questioning if the GF can be so blase about this kind of thing - does she behave badly and its all kept quiet too?

If youre not telling your mate, what you definitely need to do is tell your GF to stop telling you stuff about her sister. Be clear you cant take the burden and if she tells you anything else - youre telling your friend. That should keep her quiet on the subject.

Ask yourself some questions:
Who have you most loyalty towards - your GF or your mate?
What would you like to happen if you were in your mates position?
How likely is it that the sisters behaviour is going to change - are you going to be the secret keeper the next time, and the next time etc?
Do you and your mate really need to be involved with 2 sisters who behave like this, one actually doing the dirt, the other hiding it?

Anima

Why don't you go up to your GF's sister and give her an ultimatim? If she doesn't tell her boyfriend then you will or something to that effect. If I were you I wouldn't be very happy knowing I just said nothing while some poor eejit gets his life ruined. Then you can wash your hands clean of the situation knowing that you at least did something.

As said above, your girlfriend doesn't seem to give a toss either way which would be kind of worrying if I were you.

VinnyTGM

Yep your girlfriend's sister is a slag, big time. She is also treating your friend like an idiot.
However I would'nt say anything to your friend, he seems stupid enough to have stayed with her.
It could also break up your relationship with your girlfriend where you two are happy together.
It seems your girlfriend confides in you and trusts you, so yeah telling your mate would end it between you two as she probably wouldn't trust you anymore.
Let the slag on with it, she'll probably get F'd over in the end.

VinnyTGM

Sorry, after reading Muppetkiller's post. I'd reconsider my post with: how deep is your relationship with your GF, if it's not deep tell your friend.