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Still hung up on girl 2 years later

  • 08-06-2009 03:38PM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭


    This has been driving me mad now, so I'll try keep it short.

    Met a girl in November 06, we were both in college but at other ends of the country and she lived 3 hours from my home town. We were txtin, bebinm everyday, then it got onto phone calls for a few hours every night. She lived with one of my best friends in the other college so I was visiting him every few weeks for a night out,so me and this girl met then. Anyway, we grew very close, I never had met a girl like this, we got on so well and got each other and all that stuff. I went out of the country over the xmas so didn't get to see her for about a month and a half but we remained in contact everyday and everyday I liked her more and more. After xmas I felt I was in love, but I'd never been in love before. She told me she was in love with me. Anyway reality set in and it wasn't going to work out being so far apart and stuff. When it ended I actually could feel a pain in my heart for a few days, I always taught it was a figure of speech. Anyway, we stopped communicating after that really. Since I've had a few things with about 4 girls, nothing major, didnt last longer than a month. But in between I always found myself thinking of the above mentioned girl. Never when I was with any of the other girls did I think about her or ever compare her to them or anything. But ever since I think about her at least once a day. I've since moved to the college she's in to contintue my degree studies and i've seen her once or twice around the place and when I have my heart starts going 90 and I get worked up and sick in my stomach..

    What the hell is wrong with me and why can I not just forget about her!! It's really annoying me, I just want to forget about her completely (like I have about some of the girls since) help! :(


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,311 ✭✭✭mrDerek


    awww man that sucks im in the same boat.still get worked up when i see my ex who i ended with 2 years ago almost to the day.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Is it possible that you could get back in touch with her, now that you two are in the same college? If it was distance that prevented it working out originally that is.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I could, but I got the impression she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Making contact would only make thing's worse for me!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,234 ✭✭✭✭djimi


    I suppose you have to ask yourself would it be worse to talk to her and get rejected, or go on not talking to her and wondering what might have been. Do you know anyone that knows her in the college who you could find out a little about her now; is she seeing anyone at the moment for example?

    If shes not seeing anyone, and if you still have feelings for her (as you clearly do by your reaction every time you see her) then Id say talk to her. If she is still interested and yis end up becoming close again then you are in a much better position to make it work this time.

    Worst case scenario and she is not interested or doesnt want to talk to you, well IMO rejection is easier to deal with in the long term than a life time of wondering what might have been...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Im still hung up on a girl after 11 years!!! Cant imagine I will ever get over her. Its not so bad now but I do think about her every day.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,718 ✭✭✭✭JonathanAnon


    I think that you going to the same college (whether you subconsciously orchestrated this or not) is NOT a good idea. But there's probably nothing you can do about that at this stage.

    Why has she not approached you? It's a long time and she may have been moved on, or may may blame you in some way for breaking her heart, maybe she just feels the situation of talking to you again will just be awkward...

    I think the mature thing to do would be to approach her one day, and just ask her how she's been. But I wouldnt go declaring my undying love or anything.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Well I think when I go back in September, If we happen to meet I'll approach her and say hello and see what her reaction is so.

    JonathanAnon, this move wasn't subconscioisly orchestrated, I had always planned to transfer as I didn't get into this college originally, and she knew that too.

    Thanks for the help guys.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 485 ✭✭tosh_thedude


    It seems to me you do infact have feels for this girl, weather its 'Love' or Lust. You need to tell her how you feel, its a simple as that. Either by writing it down or telling her face to face. If she knows how you feel you maybe plesently suprised, and if not...well at least you'll know where you stand and you maybe able to move on in your life, without regreats and maybe with some sort of closure on the matter. If you can't stand the rejection from telling her face to face, then send her an email\letter with your feelings. Be honest, mention the fact your heart Races when you see her etc (Like you mentioned here) Good luck.


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