Hurt by comment

LegacyUser

Im a foreigner living here to work and learn the language to get an advanced level certificate. I moved into a house with another girl who seem nice at first but after a while started to be bitchy towards me and i couldnt see a reason. I dont spend much time in house as I often work 12 hours per day and study language every night. I have little money and i have nice friends here but miss my family and boyfriend who are in another continent. im also worried about a medical condition i have and am waiting for operation date. the other day it was my birthday and i had worked 3 12 hour days, was so tired that i just went to bed early. I posted on Facebook status '***** is exhausted' because it was true. The next day I saw on facebook a status update from my flatmate 'stop complaining, you'll be less tired - a bit of advice!' which was obviously aimed towards me. I dont understand her bitchiness - am I not allowed to post 'unhappy' status messages ever? I hardly ever complain about anything even though she leaves house a mess and is rude and quite inconsiderate, in fact I talk to her very seldom as I dont like her much and Im very busy all the time. I dont understand this message at all. When I see her I am always friendly and polite, she is the one who moan about everything and doesnt bother to saying hello when I enter the house. i cant believe the rudeness of this! why don't she mind her own business if she has nothing nice to say

Lollipops23

sounds like you took up her comment wrong. she wasn't being s bitch, just teasing and there's a difference. might be hard to pick up on if english ain't your mothertongue, so don't get wound up over it.

LegacyUser

Before I comment on your housemates comment, I have to say I admire how your trying to better yourself and how hard you are working to do it. It takes alot of strength to do what your doing.

About the comment. My first impression is that she is just "pulling the piss", ya know, just joking or having a laugh and she means nothing by it.

On the other hand if she is serious and is a bitch like you say, thenjust forget about here and ignore her. Don't waste time thinkin about losers like that.

LegacyUser

Thanks for ur advices.......no im sure the comment was serious! i dont think she likes me at all and it was definitely supposed to be bitchy and passive-aggressive i guess

Slow Motion

rudecomment wrote: »

Thanks for ur advices.......no im sure the comment was serious! i dont think she likes me at all and it was definitely supposed to be bitchy and passive-aggressive i guess

Firstly I admit I know nothing at all about facebook so I apologise if I am talking crap, but can you not remove her ability to leave comments on your site?

If she is being bitchy in real life call her on it, say "what do you mean exactly by that comment and why are you making it?" This kind of thing is bullying behaviour and will continue if you do nothing about it! If you call her on it and it continues then you may just have to start looking for somewhere new to stay, the current market is in your favour on that score!

Eve_Dublin

rudecomment wrote: »

Im a foreigner living here to work and learn the language to get an advanced level certificate. I moved into a house with another girl who seem nice at first but after a while started to be bitchy towards me and i couldnt see a reason. I dont spend much time in house as I often work 12 hours per day and study language every night. I have little money and i have nice friends here but miss my family and boyfriend who are in another continent. im also worried about a medical condition i have and am waiting for operation date. the other day it was my birthday and i had worked 3 12 hour days, was so tired that i just went to bed early. I posted on Facebook status '***** is exhausted' because it was true. The next day I saw on facebook a status update from my flatmate 'stop complaining, you'll be less tired - a bit of advice!' which was obviously aimed towards me. I dont understand her bitchiness - am I not allowed to post 'unhappy' status messages ever? I hardly ever complain about anything even though she leaves house a mess and is rude and quite inconsiderate, in fact I talk to her very seldom as I dont like her much and Im very busy all the time. I dont understand this message at all. When I see her I am always friendly and polite, she is the one who moan about everything and doesnt bother to saying hello when I enter the house. i cant believe the rudeness of this! why don't she mind her own business if she has nothing nice to say

Your home should be the one place where you should be able to relax, be yourself and not have to worry about these types of backhanded remarks from b*itchy housemates...lots of people out there are having problems finding housemates at the moment so if things are that bad, there's hundreds of potentially lovely people out there to live with. You don't have to put up with this.

Saying that, "slagging" (making fun of another person in jest) is a big part of Irish culture that we've all grown up with and have learned to give as good as we get and I think some foreigners get a bit of a shock when they come up against this but there's also a difference between friendly slagging between friends and just being and an outright cow. I think your housemate falls into the latter category and you don't need to put up with that. It's her problem, not yours.

Xiney

MissHunnyBun Banned for one month for breach of forum charter (unhelpful posting) after having had previous infractions & bans (aka, should know better)


Please, everyone else, if you have an issue with a post, use the "report posts" function. Otherwise, the thread goes off topic. Off topic posts unhelpful to the OP have been deleted.

20goto10

Hi OP. How long have you lived in Ireland? Irish people are very bitchy so it is something you will come across a lot (should you stay). You say you work very hard and you seem to be very driven, would your flatmate be the total opposite by any chance? The type that will never amount to anything? I find this is usually the case. Bitchiness spawns from jealousy. The best way to deal with bitchiness is to feel sorry for the person bitching. Maybe even find subtle ways of telling her this.

Gordon

Just sounds like an Irish "Ah, cmon, cheer up, like" comment. Irish humour is tricky to get if you aren't completely fluent in English as it can sound a little insulting to people from some areas of the world. Just tell your flatmate that you don't quite get the Irish sense of humour yet, so you didn't automatically see that the comment was meant to be funny, but you are learning . And if she gives you signals that the comment wasn't actually meant to be funny, then she sounds unpleasant!

eleven

Well, I'm Irish and have lived here all my life. If someone I lived with, clearly had a strained relationship with and just didnt like (but had been polite to) made a snide comment like that to me via facebook I'd be insulted. It's not the same thing at all as a friend or someone you banter with the odd time taking the piss. It's bullying bitchy behaviour.

I agree with the poster who said this person is probably taking their dislike of you out in a passive agressive way, thinking that you are too nice to say anything about it. I say call their bluff - say hey, if you're gonna post rude messages to me on facebook then don't bother posting at all.

castle

I would say to her, that there is an Irish saying that goes like this :If you have nothing good to say then say nothing:

lots2lose

Sounds like she has a chip on her shoulder...You should delete her from your Facebook...