Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Why do I keep seeing unsatisfying friend with benefits?

  • 07-06-2009 7:12pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Not long ago I placed an advert on gumtree looking for a friend with benefits or F buddy, call it what you will. No judgements, please. I am recently separated and simply not in a place where I am ready for a more traditional relationship. It has also been crisis mode at my job, so I have very little free time. I don't want to live completely without sex, though, and not into clubs and pubs and this seemed like the best option.

    So there were literally hundreds of "applicants." I narrowed it down to one man. Texted back and forth for two weeks, met for coffee. Then met again when we became intimate.

    We've been meeting about once every two weeks or so. Sound good so far? Well, the intersting thing is that the sex really is not that good. He doesn't use his hands at all. He is woefully out of shape and gets winded. There are lots of little problems here and there. I don't want to get into graphic details.

    He also smokes, which I don't like. He has a huge beer gut...He is also so inhibited in bed. It's not is if I want to be swinging from the ceiling, but he is VERY old-fashioned. He hardly makes any noise...I could go on and on. To sum it up, the sex is not terrible, but it's not great. The converation can be good at times, but he is also a bit small minded and repetetive.

    So why do I keep going back? Does anyone have ideas on why this might be? It's like I'm settling for this when I don't have to.

    I get chatted up by men and am considered attractive. I wasn't on gumtree because I couldn't find men IRL..I just felt more comfortable with that kind of arragement where the boundaries were laid out in advance.

    As I said, there were plenty of responses to my advert, so I am having trouble understanding myself why I just don't place another ad and try again.

    any ideas?


Comments

  • #2
    Silverfish
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,698 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    Chemicals, at a guess.

    You do it - chemicals are released which say 'That was good - do it again!' then they go, and your body craves them again.

    To be honest, if you aren't even getting good sex out of it, I'd politely cut the ties and try find something a bit better.

    If you went to all the effort of taking out an ad and whatnot, you're at least entitled to something that causes you no complaints!


Advertisement