Someone may be able to offer advice

LegacyUser

As a long time boardsie i appreciate a lot of peoples opinions on here but gonna go unreg for this one as im going to be extremely honest as i need a bit of advice.

Im 26 year old male and have been working in dublin for the last few years. I dont have any issues with my job and i like it but i have not made too many good friends since i moved here and this is where the problem lies as i knew no one when i moved up. A lot of times im depending on other people for socialising up here and if they are not socialising then i dont have any other options. The strange thing is that i do make the effort to meet new people when i am out. Also i am single which i reckon is part of it as a lot of times the friends i have up here head out in couples which is not the best start from my point of view. For instance last weekend i stayed in because i had no where to go on the bank holiday. i dont feel sorry for myself in any way though as i am a realist and realise the factors behind why i dont have many friends up here.

I was reading the thread below about heading out alone to meet people and thats just not me. I am a confident person that can walk into a room on my own but i have no interest in going out socialising on my own as it does not appeal to me. Anyway dont know if advice can be offered as i have tried several differant ways of making new friends and whilst i have been successful in many ways, you still cant replace friends form your childhood or college.

If i had a girlfriend this may not be such a problem as i didnt notice it as much before when i did, but i know a few friends who would have no social circle if they broke up with their girlfriend tomorrow and thats the kind of situation i find myself in now i reckon.

Maybe my problem is that i am the socialising type and when i dont have an outlet to socialise then i start thinking why its like this.

Anyway they are my thoughts - anyone willing to offer some advice on where to start.
I am not depressed in any way but it does get me down at certain times when i would like to be enjoying myself out with friends but find myself inside watching tv on my own. Anyway - thanks for reading.

Overheal

Why not go to a Boards Beer? After Hours is hosting one on the 20th. Good way to meet people as any.

LegacyUser

I was in your situation a few years back. Joined a club of a sport I love. Within the last year I have added 30 new numbers to my phone and meet up with these people every other weekend...... the one thing we had in common was the sport but now we have shared experiences, parties, people and have become friends.

LegacyUser

thanks for advice, i am involved in a few groups alright but dont seem to be able to get involved socially with people as much as i like because they have their own groups from before i joined if you know what i mean.

In relation to the AH beer night- i have never went to one - are they worth going to really

Zaph

Boards beers are usually fun nights, particularly forum-specific ones where people are more likely to have encountered each other online previously. I don't think AH has had a beers before, but there's a broad mix of people in that forum so there's a good chance you'd meet a few interesting people. Boardsies are generally very friendly when you meet them in RL so after a few minutes of initial trepdation/awkwardness people seem to get into the swing of things. If you were thinking of going itt might be worth hanging out on AH for the next couple of weeks so you can get a feel for the type of person who posts there and who's likely to go to the beers.

CianRyan

In my experiences with boards beers...
Well i had never met anyone there at my first beers and with that in mind, i was spotted walking into the bar and had a homely welcome with in seconds.
You'd be surprised like, i know i was.

I guess you just get to know people so well online, when you meet them in person its like meeting up with an old friend.
And from that, you meet people they know, and so forth.
Great experience.
I haven't been to a beers in a while actually, i might bob along to that AH one.:rolleyes:

suspectpackage

Unregistered wrote: »

As a long time boardsie i appreciate a lot of peoples opinions on here but gonna go unreg for this one as im going to be extremely honest as i need a bit of advice.

Im 26 year old male and have been working in dublin for the last few years. I dont have any issues with my job and i like it but i have not made too many good friends since i moved here and this is where the problem lies as i knew no one when i moved up. A lot of times im depending on other people for socialising up here and if they are not socialising then i dont have any other options. The strange thing is that i do make the effort to meet new people when i am out. Also i am single which i reckon is part of it as a lot of times the friends i have up here head out in couples which is not the best start from my point of view. For instance last weekend i stayed in because i had no where to go on the bank holiday. i dont feel sorry for myself in any way though as i am a realist and realise the factors behind why i dont have many friends up here.

I was reading the thread below about heading out alone to meet people and thats just not me. I am a confident person that can walk into a room on my own but i have no interest in going out socialising on my own as it does not appeal to me. Anyway dont know if advice can be offered as i have tried several differant ways of making new friends and whilst i have been successful in many ways, you still cant replace friends form your childhood or college.

If i had a girlfriend this may not be such a problem as i didnt notice it as much before when i did, but i know a few friends who would have no social circle if they broke up with their girlfriend tomorrow and thats the kind of situation i find myself in now i reckon.

Maybe my problem is that i am the socialising type and when i dont have an outlet to socialise then i start thinking why its like this.

Anyway they are my thoughts - anyone willing to offer some advice on where to start.
I am not depressed in any way but it does get me down at certain times when i would like to be enjoying myself out with friends but find myself inside watching tv on my own. Anyway - thanks for reading.

Know how you feel OP.

It's not easy making friends, I have to say. The usual advise of joining clubs etc is probably what you are going to hear in this thread.

As for the girlfriend issue, just make more of an effort to talk to girls during the day as you go about your daily business. It is possible. I think it's every girls fantasy to find love just as shes going about her daily business. Be more active in that way. Also, consider heading out to a bar or club by yourself. I wonder is it fear that is stopping you? Consider that if you stay in and watch TV, as opposed to go out and try to socialize with people, you won't be any better off.

Simply put, you have to make the effort.

LegacyUser

suspectpackage wrote: »

Know how you feel OP.

It's not easy making friends, I have to say. The usual advise of joining clubs etc is probably what you are going to hear in this thread.

As for the girlfriend issue, just make more of an effort to talk to girls during the day as you go about your daily business. It is possible. I think it's every girls fantasy to find love just as shes going about her daily business. Be more active in that way. Also, consider heading out to a bar or club by yourself. I wonder is it fear that is stopping you? Consider that if you stay in and watch TV, as opposed to go out and try to socialize with people, you won't be any better off.

Simply put, you have to make the effort.

Dont really fancy headin out by my own to be honest- not because im self conscious really but because i have never done it and never even thought about it before. It could be fear thats stopping me but i could just not see myself hanging around a bar or club on my own. You do make a very good point about making more of an effort talking to girls during the day and i will try to make more of an effort on that front. I am quite happy being single at the moment believe it or not but if i did have a gf again i would not be typing this message i guess.

G86

Unregistered wrote: »

Dont really fancy headin out by my own to be honest- not because im self conscious really but because i have never done it and never even thought about it before. .

I'd be the same, its all very well saying there's nothing wrong with it, but I personally would feel like a bit of a tool heading out on my own. It's just different strokes for different folks.

With regards to not having a GF, I don't think getting on is the solution to your problem, you need to make your OWN friends not rely on a GF. I've gone to the boards beer thing before, it was grand, and it's defo a good way to meet people. I met two really good friends of mine in a ladies lounge meet up when the forum first opened about 2 years ago:) You really should head to one!

As for the clubs etc that you're in - do you head out after for drinks or anything with memebers? Why don't you suggest that some evening? You're bound to get a yes or even a suggestion for another time.

Friends of friends is another option, why not get chatting to some of your friends mates on bebo/facebook etc?

I do really sympathise, acquaintances are easy to come by but it can be really hard to meet genuinely good friends, no matter how confident you are.

Hope that helps a wee bit!

Good luck

LegacyUser

G86 wrote: »

I'd be the same, its all very well saying there's nothing wrong with it, but I personally would feel like a bit of a tool heading out on my own. It's just different strokes for different folks.

With regards to not having a GF, I don't think getting on is the solution to your problem, you need to make your OWN friends not rely on a GF. I've gone to the boards beer thing before, it was grand, and it's defo a good way to meet people. I met two really good friends of mine in a ladies lounge meet up when the forum first opened about 2 years ago:) You really should head to one!

As for the clubs etc that you're in - do you head out after for drinks or anything with memebers? Why don't you suggest that some evening? You're bound to get a yes or even a suggestion for another time.

Friends of friends is another option, why not get chatting to some of your friends mates on bebo/facebook etc?

I do really sympathise, acquaintances are easy to come by but it can be really hard to meet genuinely good friends, no matter how confident you are.

Hope that helps a wee bit!

Good luck

ya boards beers sounds like an option alright, i have not heard a negative comment on here about it so it must be a good night.the club im with are sociable alright but they seem to have there social circles already but i will definately make more of an effort with them. its not easy when you move to a new place as big as dublin and leave all your old friends behind but it was my choice and i want to enjoy dublin and try and meet new people.

Thanks for the advice so far everyone