It is really getting me down.....

LegacyUser

my head is wrecked, its nearly a year since i've broke up with my long term gf and i still havent gotten over her. i loved her alot and tried my best to make things work but in the end it wasnt to be. i can live with that, i kinda agree to be honest that maybe we were not right for each other. its just that a year on, i havent met anyone i think that i really like that i think may like me too. any girls i have been with i have done it more for short term ego boost but hasn't solved the bigger problem - i still miss her. i still rate her very highley as a person even though we didntwork out. i hate being alone so much, being with people makes me happy, and now that my friends are always busy with their own lifes and on many occassions i have no one to do things with, my mind wanders back to her often and what i think may have been. sometimes i find myself annoyed that i start thinking of her often when i am on my own. other times im just sad it didnt work out.

i know there is no answer to this question, i know myself that if and when i do meet someone else i will be happy again, just wondering has anyone had similar experiences to me or can anyone suggest on ways to move on? has it taken anyone a long time to get over a previous relationship and what eventually clicked, when did you realise that you were over it?

LegacyUser

Hey,

Don't know if i can be much help, i'm in the same boat myself...broke up with a longterm ex more or less a year ago, and every single bloody day he's on my mind....sometimes i get angry, I hate that i can't 'make' myself get over it, or that i could be out at a party and still my mind wanders to him....i'm good looking, young and know that i could have pretty much most guys...but since we split, i dont really want anyone...the idea of even kissing someone else feels alien and strange...yet i didnt feel that in our last few months (we'd split a good few times near the end)......i dont know when it'll end, i dont think i'll ever really get over him, he was my first and i'll never love anyone like him...but i'll find someone i hope that i can have something different, that is more compatable, maybe not as passionate, but less drama.....i dunno, here's hoping for both of us that things ease in time. just dont go rushing to fill the hole...i did and it doesnt work, u feel worse and have little sense of who you are or what u need/want...

Paddy084

Hey. I'm just wondering...both of you say that after a year or so you cant get your ex's out of your mind and are and have been trying to move on. But im just wondering if either of you are still in contact with your ex and if you both feel that you may never find anyone better, would you ever go back and make contact with them to try and reconcile?

LegacyUser

I was in contact with my ex up until 4mths ago, doing the on/off thing for a year previous....since then nothing, and no, i wouldnt meet up with them, i dont want to get back with them and i know we weren't the right ppl for each other. i dont think we can reconcile, at least not at our stages (both mid 20's) i just dont think either of us are capable for what we had...

i do believe i'll find better....i loved him, but the relationship made me unhappy, a lot of doubts on his side, fights, felt like we'd no future...and when we moved in together, it compounded that...

LegacyUser

OP here, to answer your question Paddy084, when we broke up we cut contact, then a few months ago we got in contact, my ex had moved on it seemed, i kinda thought i had as well, but when we were texting just as mates i realised i wasnt actually over her at all so told her about 2 months ago, i cant just be friends. I could never get back with her to be honest even if she wanted to and even though i still rate her highly. The hurt of trying to get over her this last year I have found very hard, don't think i could let her do it to me again. Just still think sometimes we were really suited and meant to be.

So back to my original question, anyone else taken this long to get over someone, what eventually changed, what made you eventually move on. Im starting to think the only way it will happen is when i meet someone new, god knows when that will be....?

ogriofa

Haya, yeah I was in a daze for a year about 10 years ago.
A pal would listen to me drone on for a year!!

After a while I would have gaps of not thinking about her > between lunch and dinner, i'd notice that I hadnt thought of her. This extended to once a day, and then full days.

It was gradual for me, but KNOW that you will get over her.
The clock only started when you cut contact though, so you're not THAT long in