Not sure what to do

LegacyUser

I am not sure what i am doing with my life at the moment and would appreciate some advice. I was let go from my job last year and haven't had any luck since. any reply i get im either under/over qualified. I got three thanks but no thanks replies this morning so im feeling fu**ed up at the moment.

I have been offered a place in england to study something that really interests me, but im not sure whether to go or not. I've done the college thing before and it didnt work out. financially i can afford the first year but would probably need to defer years or something after that. On the other hand though i am completely depressed where i am at the moment. Living in the family home and made to feel like **** by the rest of my family. Whenever i speak to them about the England thing, they are always negative about it, inferring that i wouldnt go through with it anyway so no point in talking about it. I have no identity here, im either my mothers son or my brothers brother. I am never referred to as myself, thats something that really gets me. any few friends i had are long gone. I contemplated suicide a few months ago but couldnt go through with it.

I know that the grass isnt always greener, but not sure whether to go ahead with this, not getting any support or constructive advice at home and its wrecking my head.

I know its not as big a personal issue as others but it is for me. Im 24.

ogriofa

Hi,
I've a good idea of what you're talking about. I went through that about 6years ago when the industry I worked in had collapsed.
Don't play down your issue, it's a huge thing for you, of course it is!

I'm sure you've heard the whole "in a recession...study" line. And Id subscribe to it. I've just finished a course and that Industry is non existent at the mo. But when it comes back online, i'll be there with my qualifications ready to go.
I'd recommend you do the same.

You say the college thing didnt work out before > a) if you're really interested in something it WILL work out for you & b) you're that bit older now, you'll get stuck in!

If you really can afford to go to the UK for the year, I'd go - defo. Change is as good as a rest and all that. Plus you'd get the experience of living abroad (ahem). Plus you never know what might happen over there! Their economy could bounce back quicker than ours, and there you'd be with your qualification.

I know you'll hate this... BUT... your're only 24! - Loads of time for you.

I know how it feels, and I'll say this, do something possitive.

Good luck

LegacyUser

I would say that you should go to england and start doing what you like. Everything will work out for you, you will find a job to support yourself and pay for the next year. Just do the first step, do not be afraid.

good luck

nora1

Sorry to hear you are feeling so low. I'm wondering if you have looked into studying in Ireland instead. If you have been signing on you should qualify as a mature student when you are 25 and should get a grant that includes your fees. This might be more manageable financially than studying in England.

Also, don't forget that like many other people you are out of work through no fault of your own. I'm sure that if it wasn't for the recession you would be doing fine. The recession can't last forever and after every recession comes a boom so I think it's a great idea for you to better yourself by studying so that when things pick up you should have no trouble getting a job.

I feel bad for you that your family are not being more supportive. Maybe you should tell them you could do with their support at the moment.

If you are seriously considering suicide you need to talk to somone.

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Badboy1977

I would advise you firstly to go see a Doctor.Depression is a serious matter.Moving to England might not be a bad idea but moving itself is stressful and you need to be sure you could handle the stress. What is the course and have you checked out student loans? I think it also sounds like you need to confront your family about exactly how you are feeling.

You are going through a very stressful time-dont turn your back on the family without giving them a chance to support you more emotionally.

LegacyUser

I agree with what Nora 1 says about signing on and grants and that. I think that 23 is the actual age you qualify as a mature student. Also you can get it transferred to another EU country. You may have to start the course here first though and then transfer to another collage in the EU. Go to threshold and ask about all your entitlements for going to collage here or in the EU. I know that you qualify for a higher maintenance grant if you are living away from your parents home and not dependent on them. It's well worth looking into. 'hope it all works out...
By the way, you should move out of home anyway. Your family will never see you as an individual because they see you as an extension of themselves..so and so's brother, so and so's son, etc. I go through the same with my family so I've learnt to keep my distance and not to look for too much support because i know that their advice would not be for my benefit but for how THEY think I should be.

lynsalot

Hi OP

First of all, you should see your GP about being depressed. I always felt down for periods of time but never 2 week stretches which somehow qualifies as depression. It took years and years and I eventually saw a doctor and was given tabs. I've been so much more happier since then. Things are a lot clearer and I'm more rational.

Like you're uni offer in the UK - what's stopping you? Even if it's just a year it's new start- it will give you an opportunity to start afresh. Make new friends, become independent, be who u wanna be and discover what's holding you back. You can join clubs, orgs and socialise on a completely clean slate. What's stopping you? Seriously!! Ok you've lost your job and you feel like you're not adequately qualified for the jobs you're applying for, but it would be worse if u had a mortgage, financial commitments, children or another half who you didn't want to leave.

I promise if you see your GP and talk to him/her about your feelings you will get the help you need. I tried the counselling route but it wasn't one foundation problem that was getting me down it was my outlook. I haven't looked back. Since I started taking the tablets I've taken up dancing, jewellery making, socialising more, seeing friends and old friends. I hope you do take my advice. Regarding finishing your course, why don't you look for something which will give you a cert at the end of the year so if u defer or take time out, you can go back if u want.

You have everything going for you. Every reason to follow your dreams. If u are going to the UK I'd recommend renting with other students - you will make friends more easily. If u want to talk about things just PM me and I wish you luck.
take care
Lindsay