Think I need to break up with him

LegacyUser

Been with my boyfriend for 3 yrs, and love him to bits.
He has broken my heart a few times during the relationship, breaking up with me, saying he didnt think he felt as strongly about me as i did him. The last time we broke up, things changed with him and he really regretted the break up, he changed completely and said he wants to spend the rest of his life with me etc...That was about 6 months ago, and everything has been great up until recently.
I just feel like very unappreciated, he doesnt seem as interested as he usually does. I do everything i can for him and am very understanding about his job which has him working long hours.
I feel like he would rather spend his spare time just sitting at home without even thinking about me unless he got horny.
We talk about marriage all the time, but when i mention actually getting engaged he just says "there's no rush"....all our friends are married at this stage. we are both in our early 30's
it would be absolutely HEARTBROKEN finishing with him, and i have a pain in my chest thinking about it as i am thinking that if i say to him that i want to finish he prob wont even put up a fight. (he might - but i really dont know) - and that will really hurt me.
because he has finished it already a few times, everytime we had even a little fight since, i would apologise and try and make things better as i am afraid that he will just finish it.

do ye thing I am being treated like a fool?
Should i just finish it with him now so this pain in my chest will go away (although i think the pain will just get worse if we broke up)
I am even afraid to tell him all this incase he just says "fine, lets just finish it"..

LegacyUser

totallyataloss wrote: »

Been with my boyfriend for 3 yrs, and love him to bits.
He has broken my heart a few times during the relationship, breaking up with me, saying he didnt think he felt as strongly about me as i did him. The last time we broke up, things changed with him and he really regretted the break up, he changed completely and said he wants to spend the rest of his life with me etc...That was about 6 months ago, and everything has been great up until recently.
I just feel like very unappreciated, he doesnt seem as interested as he usually does. I do everything i can for him and am very understanding about his job which has him working long hours.
I feel like he would rather spend his spare time just sitting at home without even thinking about me unless he got horny.
We talk about marriage all the time, but when i mention actually getting engaged he just says "there's no rush"....all our friends are married at this stage. we are both in our early 30's
it would be absolutely HEARTBROKEN finishing with him, and i have a pain in my chest thinking about it as i am thinking that if i say to him that i want to finish he prob wont even put up a fight. (he might - but i really dont know) - and that will really hurt me.
because he has finished it already a few times, everytime we had even a little fight since, i would apologise and try and make things better as i am afraid that he will just finish it.

do ye thing I am being treated like a fool?
Should i just finish it with him now so this pain in my chest will go away (although i think the pain will just get worse if we broke up)
I am even afraid to tell him all this incase he just says "fine, lets just finish it"..

Sorry to hear this OP...my heart goes out to you especially as Ive been in similiar situation with my gf this last few weeks...finally breaking up this week....

TBH I'd raise the subject with him....as heartbroken as I am now it is still much better than what I've been going through this last few weeks (same symptoms as yourself and also was avoiding bringing up the subject..)
It's best to know the true story than cling to a dream.....remember if he's actually the one for you, you wouldnt be posting up here....

best of luck with it...

ogriofa

I don't have any definites for you, but feeling like he will break up with you at any time is no good. We can all feel like that when things are "iffey", but this will obliterate your confidence in the medium>long term.

Whatever you decide to do - good luck

LegacyUser

Hi
Same situation here too..g/f broke up for good a few weeks ago..we had our fair share of rows over the 3 years we were together but I suppose it just was not meant to be..I was in bits and heard she has another guy already so now I know it was the right thing..if somebody moves on that fast they prob were just not that into you..hope ye sort it out though

cheers

tolteq

totallyataloss wrote: »

Been with my boyfriend for 3 yrs, and love him to bits.
He has broken my heart a few times during the relationship, breaking up with me, saying he didnt think he felt as strongly about me as i did him. The last time we broke up, things changed with him and he really regretted the break up, he changed completely and said he wants to spend the rest of his life with me etc...That was about 6 months ago, and everything has been great up until recently.
I just feel like very unappreciated, he doesnt seem as interested as he usually does. I do everything i can for him and am very understanding about his job which has him working long hours.
I feel like he would rather spend his spare time just sitting at home without even thinking about me unless he got horny.
We talk about marriage all the time, but when i mention actually getting engaged he just says "there's no rush"....all our friends are married at this stage. we are both in our early 30's
it would be absolutely HEARTBROKEN finishing with him, and i have a pain in my chest thinking about it as i am thinking that if i say to him that i want to finish he prob wont even put up a fight. (he might - but i really dont know) - and that will really hurt me.
because he has finished it already a few times, everytime we had even a little fight since, i would apologise and try and make things better as i am afraid that he will just finish it.

do ye thing I am being treated like a fool?
Should i just finish it with him now so this pain in my chest will go away (although i think the pain will just get worse if we broke up)
I am even afraid to tell him all this incase he just says "fine, lets just finish it"..

well ask yourself do you wanted to be married and this is the kind of life you lead. i dunno. u have to just finish it i think. the guy is not straight about you. i think u can do better.

LegacyUser

Don't let the early 30s things scare you. Its still young.

Alot of my friends (same age group) stuck it out for years with guys who weren't that pushed. Then when it came to marriage/babies time the guys walked.

Better to start again early 30s than late 30s. And after a few tough months you'll be rid of that 'feeling' & you'll really enjoy being treated properly next time round.

Munstermad

Hi there, I know exactly how u feel, I really don't think he will change.
I married my oh and now 10 years and 3 kids down the line he has told me he wants out, he doesn't feel for me what I feel for him. He broke my heart many times in the past when we were going out, and like you I love him to bits and always took him back. I am awaiting the fall out of when he does move out, plans to early in July...But take hope in this, it hurts like hell but why should we settle for being second best to everything our whole lives, always last on their priority list? I intend to carry on and make myself happy and maybe my real prince will come. I have given him 10 years and I think at this stage thats enough, he's not the man I thought he was and i bet your oh isn't either...I just hope it doesn't take u as long as i did to work that out.

I hope I'm wrong, best of luck to you.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi
Same situation here too..g/f broke up for good a few weeks ago..we had our fair share of rows over the 3 years we were together but I suppose it just was not meant to be..I was in bits and heard she has another guy already so now I know it was the right thing..if somebody moves on that fast they prob were just not that into you..hope ye sort it out though

cheers

Same story here mate...awful feeling isn't it ? :-(