Life falling apart

LegacyUser

I really need some help or advice or something......Everything seems to be happening to me at once and i just cant cope anymore. I lost my mother who i was VERY close to 2 months ago, I have been out or work since last year and the last of my savings is gone, i literally only have my dole payments, my other half is now being let go and he has no money, we have to move out of place we love living in. He is also separated and cant seem to shake the ex even after nearly 5 years so still not divorced! So basically its all gotten too much for me and i cant be strong anymore. I am broke, grieving, heart broken, jobless and the one good thing in my life is still not 100% mine as he still has wife attached.

Oh The Humanity

Thats a hard situation there OP.

Its good you posted here as bottling it all up will cause you to crack.
Have you got a medical card, can you go to your GP and explain you feel everything is getting on top of you and you are in difficulty.

He/she will be able to discuss strategies to enable you to cope. Medication and/or counselling to help you cope with the grief and other difficulties.

Meanwhile, I know its such a cliche but take things one step at a time. You have a big list of serious problems there that each one would warrant a thread of their own nearly.

Take one small step at a time. Day by day. Maybe the GP might be a place to start for now.

Taltos

Oh The Humanity wrote: »

Meanwhile, I know its such a cliche but take things one step at a time. You have a big list of serious problems there that each one would warrant a thread of their own nearly.

Take one small step at a time. Day by day. Maybe the GP might be a place to start for now.

+ 1

Breaking it down bit by bit is really the best way to deal with all this. Right now when you open your eyes in the morning all you can see is this onslaught of problems. Unfortunately when you look at your problems like that you can rarely see the way out and it is too easy to give into despair and start down the route of depression.

I really believe that saying right now really applies to you "cannot see the wood for the trees".

Try to take a deep breath and just keep reminding yourself that you can only really worry about those things you have control over. The rest - well they are there to test you - how you deal with them is what is important. - I know this sounds "pat" but it works for me (most of the time - until I forget)

LegacyUser

Please consider getting bereavement counselling. 2 months is no time at all after your mother's death, especially if you were very close.
Your GP should be able to recommend you someone or a group.
Please focus 100% on yourself. There's nothing you can do about your DP's ex. Unless she's banging on your door or always ringing your DP, ask for a hiatus on discussing her for a few weeks, so you can get your head straight.

I know money is tight, and getting tighter.. but take advantage of the free time you don't really want but have. Go for some long walks or cycle. Wear yourself out in the fresh air, get some good sleep. This will help.

Take care of yourself

kittenkiller

I think that bereavement counselling would be a very positive step for you for a start.

Is there any particular reason that your partner's seperation hasn't led to a divorce yet?
I think that having a frank talk with your partner might help to shed some light on the issue and let him know that the issue is really weighing on your mind.

If you're due to get a deposit back on your current place, why don't you look into using it to start afresh somewhere new, away for ghosts and old attachments?
Even just down the country where the cost of living is a little cheaper.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck with it, you've been through a very rough time.