Pulling Alone.... no smart replies :)

LegacyUser

Here I end up going out a lot on my own recently to pubs & clubs (mainly cos Im up in Dublin working away from my friends and those ppl I work with dont go out much) I was just wondering if any of the guys here have any tips for approaching women (or groups of women) when ur out by yourself or if any of the ladies have any advice Im a normal fun loving guy (can be persuaded to hit the dancefloor after 1 or 2 [well any excuse really]), easy to get on with, I hope, so yea any advice wud b gr8

Overheal

Pretend to interview girls for a survey or something, ask them provacative, conversation starting questions.

Dumb

Ask them to buy ya a shandy with a pack of cheese strips and your good to go. Also buy her a briffick orange. Women love them yokes. Especially the Dublin ones

MIN2511

pretend you lost your mates and use that as your conversation starter.

Wibbs

Dumb, helpful posts only please.

LegacyUser

Just go up, start dancing, after a while start a conversation with them...don't tell them you've lost your mates or any of that crap, tell them you're on your own and you've come for the music. This obviously only applies when you actually do go to the club for the music - does not apply when you go to ****holes like Coppers. Just be honest.

petethebrick

Overheal wrote: »

Pretend to interview girls for a survey or something, ask them provacative, conversation starting questions.

Don't do anything like this.

The best way to score when you're out by yourself is to find a good seat at the bar and then try and get chatting to girls over the course of the night. Getting drunk is fine if it loosens you up but I wouldn't recommend 'hitting the dancefloor', when you're out alone as some people might think you look a bit odd pissed and dancing about by yourself.

Jordonvito

Partyboy them

Nevyn

Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

Malari

Most guys I've spoken to in pubs are the ones who chat to you when you go to buy a drink. It doesn't seem pushy if the guy is either standing at the bar, or waiting to be served. I think a lot of girls would welcome it because I have several friends whose worst nightmare is being anywhere in a pub on their own!

It's difficult to get into a group of girls, especially if they are in the middle of a conversation and it can be irritating. I wouldn't recommend the solo dancing either

Wibbs

Wibbs wrote: »

Dumb, helpful posts only please.

Wait..

So I can post a dumb post as long as it's helpful?

Erm, anyways ...

Just be confident. Walk up to a girl and ask her if she would like a drink. Smile while you are doing this and keep eye contact (but not too much). If this doesn't work try, "this music is sh1te, isn't it?". Something that will start a conversation.

Also from my own personal opinion. Stand there for a few minutes and let your eyes scan the room. If your eyes meet someones looking back at you, smile at them. If they smile back and maintain eye contact, it's a good sign. At this point approach them and try dancing to their front (not this stupid dirty dancing to their back)

Oh ya, for group of girls it is preferable to have a group of guys with you too. Generally the exact same number of girls to guys.

petethebrick

Deleted User wrote: »

Wait..

So I can post a dumb post as long as it's helpful?

Erm, anyways ...

Just be confident. Walk up to a girl and ask her if she would like a drink. Smile while you are doing this and keep eye contact (but not too much). If this doesn't work try, "this music is sh1te, isn't it?". Something that will start a conversation.

Also from my own personal opinion. Stand there for a few minutes and let your eyes scan the room. If your eyes meet someones looking back at you, smile at them. If they smile back and maintain eye contact, it's a good sign. At this point approach them and try dancing to their front (not this stupid dirty dancing to their back)

Oh ya, for group of girls it is preferable to have a group of guys with you too. Generally the exact same number of girls to guys.

I'm willing to bet that you don't score very often when out - unless maybe you're supremely handsome looking and can rely on your looks alone - because the techniques you've advised are truly awful in my opinion.
- Offering drinks straight off the bat is only for the truly desperate who can't think of any other way to start a conversation.
- Commenting to a girl that 'this music is ****e isn't it' will be met with silence in most cases. (who likes a moaner??)
- And 'dancing to their front' as you put it, well.....

Timmyctc

Walk up to her, lick your finger, rub it on her dress and say .."Well we'd better get you out of these wet clothes" if she takes it she has a sense of humor and you're good to go, if she calls you a stalker then leave the club.....


and don't return.:D

shellyboo

petethebrick wrote: »

I'm willing to bet that you don't score very often when out - unless maybe you're supremely handsome looking and can rely on your looks alone - because the techniques you've advised are truly awful in my opinion.
- Offering drinks straight off the bat is only for the truly desperate who can't think of any other way to start a conversation.
- Commenting to a girl that 'this music is ****e isn't it' will be met with silence in most cases. (who likes a moaner??)
- And 'dancing to their front' as you put it, well.....

And your alternative, amazing advice is??

Timmyctc wrote: »

Walk up to her, lick your finger, rub it on her dress and say .."Well we'd better get you out of these wet clothes" if she takes it she has a sense of humor and you're good to go, if she calls you a stalker then leave the club.....


and don't return.:D

Not having a sense of humour is not the only reason a woman might not like cheesy chat-up lines. She might also have a brain. If a guy can't think of something original and real to talk to me about, then I'm not interested.


Which leads me on to my, very simple, advice. OP, if you were sitting at the bar with a bloke, what would you talk to him about? The weather? Current affairs? The awful shirt the barman is wearing? The price of turnips? Your upcoming holiday?

You can talk to women about these things too. Treat them like a regular person as opposed to a target or objective of some sort and you'll get on fine.

petethebrick

petethebrick wrote: »

I'm willing to bet that you don't score very often when out - unless maybe you're supremely handsome looking and can rely on your looks alone - because the techniques you've advised are truly awful in my opinion.
- Offering drinks straight off the bat is only for the truly desperate who can't think of any other way to start a conversation.
- Commenting to a girl that 'this music is ****e isn't it' will be met with silence in most cases. (who likes a moaner??)
- And 'dancing to their front' as you put it, well.....

Well dancing to their front is a lot better than that sleazy dirty dancing routine most guys do in night clubs.

As for the whole 'this music is ****e' thing, there's a million other things you could say to somebody.

You ever hear that saying about making assumptions and making an ASS out of U and Me? Well, that applies to you thinking I never scored on a night out. Whether that's down to my looks or my pulling ability is one thing.

crosstownk

It's all about confidence. And there's no point in swilling back the gargle to build up 'dutch courage'. If you're p1ssed then it won't really work out. Just be calm, be yourself, strike up a conversation. If he/she's interested then hopefully it will go from there.

It is easier said than done. I only did it once - 13 years ago - I'm now happily married to the the girl I met that night. It does work but for that one success, I had plenty of unsuccessful encounters.

MIN2511

crosstownk wrote: »

It's all about confidence. And there's no point in swilling back the gargle to build up 'dutch courage'. If you're p1ssed then it won't really work out. Just be calm, be yourself, strike up a conversation. If he/she's interested then hopefully it will go from there.

It is easier said than done. I only did it once - 13 years ago - I'm now happily married to the the girl I met that night. It does work but for that one success, I had plenty of unsuccessful encounters.

There are exceptions to every story and
yours is definitely one...

Front

Unregistered wrote: »

Just go up, start dancing, after a while start a conversation with them...don't tell them you've lost your mates or any of that crap, tell them you're on your own and you've come for the music. This obviously only applies when you actually do go to the club for the music - does not apply when you go to ****holes like Coppers. Just be honest.

Ha ha, he'd be boppin away in Coppers - "yeah I come here for the music - you can't hear Galway Girl or Come on Eileen enough in my opinion. You coming back to mine or wha?"

dblennon

It's very simple if your perfectly happy heading to a pub or club alone then you will be fine, you need to get into that frame.

The minute you feel selfconscience about being alone your done for.

try challenging yourself saying you will open up a conversation with 7 women/ groups in a particular club this will focus your mind also Unless the conversation is really going somewhere limit yourself to 10 minutes per conversation that way you are making the decision to leave leaving.

If they ask "are you on your own" tell them the truth!!!!!!!!!! CONFIDENCE is key.

tolteq

shellyboo wrote: »

If a guy can't think of something original and real to talk to me about, then I'm not interested.

yawn. its attitudes like this, that hinder men from talking normally to women. and why the OP has his problems.

LegacyUser

tolteq wrote: »

yawn. its attitudes like this, that hinder men from talking normally to women. and why the OP has his problems.

i second that notion, what planet is that woman on. Can some women not just talk to men without thinking the worst about them all the time. believe it or no there is a few genuine men left out there

LegacyUser

First of all, pulling a girl in a club is really difficult. I'm a woman and I've been appraoched by men who are alone and it's very off-putting - mainly because it seems that the man is just in the club looking for sex. One of the worst things a man can do to pull a girl is dance up to her - most men can't dance! Don't do it! The best way to meet someone is through mutual friends. House parties are great for this.

Red_Marauder

I would say you should just act completely normally man, as though your friends were there.
When you're out with mates, they're not really the ones coming onto/ eyeing up/ approaching girls for you, so you should be fine on your own.

seanybiker

Just be yourself. You said your mates dont go out. At some stage your mates where obviously strangers to you and now you act yourself around them. That means they obviously like you. So dont mind the shyness and just start chatting to someone. It might only be when your at the bar and meet her waiting to get served. Just do the usual and leave her ahead of ya or just say to her ya wouldnt wanna be thirsty in here. Anything really.

johnmaloney88

read the game, very helpful read!!!
and tbh i think it's all about confidence, i don't think it matters what u say!

coadyj

ok, simple

i have a few bits of advice here, dont approche women full on. As in go up face to face and start talking to them, it will scare them off. Women like a little bit of a challenge.

Pick you starting conversation, but make it something you might find in a meet cutehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meet_cute, but make sure you are standing with you side facing her, so you can lean in and out of the conversation. don't be too full on. What you want it the girl to be so fascinated with your conversation that she is pulling you back into it.

At this point you need to kinda make her think that your not looking to hook up with her, a nice way to do this is to playfully slag her off a bit do go saying anything too insulting, something she can brush off. If some of her friends approach her at this point all the better, she will start talking to her which is your que to tease her about not introducing you to her. This is golden when it happens because, you not only get the friends approval, but you also encourage jealous in the girl.

Keep talking about different things, I don't need to tell you how to have a conversation, don't mention the I'm here alone factor, but do put some false time constraint on, like "Oh i have to meet my friends in another club" etc, make it seem like she is not too important to you.

if she plays with her hair, or touches you in anyway this is good (duh), raise it up a bit, but try to be gentlemanly, do the real i have to go buzz, but ask her if she would like to go out sometime, maybe for dinner or something.

Get her number and with the bit of drink in her, you will definitely get the kiss close.

If your not great looking or anything, don't worry the more you try, the more chance of success you will have.

And my final bit of advice is, go to dandelion, its filled with groups of girls who lunge themselves at guys.

stiff kitten

just wanna say that you sound like a chilled kinda guy that can go out without back up from mates...that confidence is sexy...

stand at the bar and wink at a girl if you're good looking

if you're rich, buy some gal a drink

if you've a good body, work it on the dance floor

best of luck,

stiff kitten

Partizan

Malari wrote: »

Most guys I've spoken to in pubs are the ones who chat to you when you go to buy a drink. It doesn't seem pushy if the guy is either standing at the bar, or waiting to be served. I think a lot of girls would welcome it because I have several friends whose worst nightmare is being anywhere in a pub on their own!

It's difficult to get into a group of girls, especially if they are in the middle of a conversation and it can be irritating. I wouldn't recommend the solo dancing either

Spot on. I have scored loads of times perfecting this method. OP, just be relaxed, look a bit disinterested and talk about normal stuff. Then go in for the kill.

Another great place to meet partners is at house parties and through mutual friends. You could also try the online dating thing.

Rb

Deleted User wrote: »

Wait..

So I can post a dumb post as long as it's helpful?

Erm, anyways ...

Just be confident. Walk up to a girl and ask her if she would like a drink. Smile while you are doing this and keep eye contact (but not too much). If this doesn't work try, "this music is sh1te, isn't it?". Something that will start a conversation.

Also from my own personal opinion. Stand there for a few minutes and let your eyes scan the room. If your eyes meet someones looking back at you, smile at them. If they smile back and maintain eye contact, it's a good sign. At this point approach them and try dancing to their front (not this stupid dirty dancing to their back)

Oh ya, for group of girls it is preferable to have a group of guys with you too. Generally the exact same number of girls to guys.

No offense, BABM, but I hope you didn't pay for whatever book you got this out of.

OP: Don't go too heavy on the booze anyway and you're generally best off starting by sitting at the bar and having a few and trying to get chatting to people as they're up getting drinks.

That way if you get into a good conversation they might ask you to join them/their group or whatever and it avoids you having to "dance to their front" awkwardly or any other nonsense.

If you're honest about why you're there (i.e you've sfa friends and your colleagues are a bore) you'll do a lot better than making up excuses, be genuine and don't be *weird*.

Again, don't lose control of yourself with the booze as there's nothing worse than a plastered stranger hanging around.

Good luck to you and also to BABM.

shellyboo

tolteq wrote: »

yawn. its attitudes like this, that hinder men from talking normally to women. and why the OP has his problems.

Unregistered wrote: »

i second that notion, what planet is that woman on. Can some women not just talk to men without thinking the worst about them all the time. believe it or no there is a few genuine men left out there

Planet Earth, thanks. What is so hard about going up to a woman and having a normal conversation with her? Must men always resort to cheesy lines and pickups? You get much further if you drop the act and just be a normal, nice guy.

And tolteq, I've no idea how my attitude and advice, which was "talk normally to women" hinders men from talking normally to women. Pick-up lines are not normal conversation.

coadyj

shellyboo wrote: »

Planet Earth, thanks. What is so hard about going up to a woman and having a normal conversation with her? Must men always resort to cheesy lines and pickups? You get much further if you drop the act and just be a normal, nice guy.

And tolteq, I've no idea how my attitude and advice, which was "talk normally to women" hinders men from talking normally to women. Pick-up lines are not normal conversation.

No offence the Shelly, but you've never had to pick up a girl in your life. In night clubs girls are cows, and playing a power game with them is sometimes the only way to pick them up. Were not talking about pickup line, but you do need an icebreaker. you cant just go up and say "Hi, nice weather were having" or "Did you see the last Pat Kenny" It doesn't work. Girls like a bit of mystery, a puzzle.

shellyboo

coadyj wrote: »

No offence the Shelly, but you've never had to pick up a girl in your life. In night clubs girls are cows, and playing a power game with them is sometimes the only way to pick them up. Were not talking about pickup line, but you do need an icebreaker. you cant just go up and say "Hi, nice weather were having" or "Did you see the last Pat Kenny" It doesn't work. Girls like a bit of mystery, a puzzle.

Firstly, why on earth are you trying to score with rude, horrible women? If someone doesn't have a bit of manners, if they can't even be civil, why bother? Girls like that don't deserve a second glance.

And as for girls liking a bit of a mystery... here's one that doesn't. I like to interact with real people and not a facade.

oceansize

Unregistered wrote: »

i second that notion, what planet is that woman on. Can some women not just talk to men without thinking the worst about them all the time. believe it or no there is a few genuine men left out there

Lies!!!!

Apart from me that is :P

legend365

Haha

Hi, nice weather were having isn't it?!

What!?

NICE WEATHER WERE HAVING!!!

WHAT!!?

You have a face like a mellon

Oh YEA YEA! *girl nods head*

Seriously, having a conversation in a night club is like swimming with bricks attached to your feet.

Wibbs

oceansize and legend365 only helpful posts please.