Dealing with this crap

LegacyUser

I,m here saying this because ive nowhere else to turn around and say it. Several years ago when I was 17 I went to a music festival with peers and the older guys of a big group. Drugs where a big thing and I was influenced as where my friends we had been taking ecstasy for some time before this. We went on a long bus journey up, constantly drinking up, during and back on the bus and taking X. I was wearing light tracksuit bottoms and due to the overheating of my body and sitting on my ass for 5 hours bus journey back, also when we got back to the after party I was sitting down sweating and coming down 2. I started notice'n everyone in the party glancing slyly imbetween my legs.

I thought I was just paranoid for awhile due to the drugs so I payed no attention. Around 8am the effects of all the drink and drugs decided to pop out in gas form from my ass. Wasnt pleasant smelling mind you, few people looking at me again in the party and glancing imbetween my legs (I was still sitting down) I started to get really paranoid then and took a few trips to the toilet to get away from all the eyes. I had a sweat patch on my ass and it stunk 2 as did most of me as you could imagine after all that sweating drinking etc. I was miles from home with no lift and eventually my mate who was older than me who had said was going to give me a lift home did. I was in his place with 2 other fellas for a short while before I headed in home. I caught my mate out of the corner of my eye pointing down imbetween my legs to his other mate. I got up and said I had to go, went and chilled out down a spot where I lived.

My head was so melted that I rang that mate and asked him to come down and said straight out I was worried that everyone had thought I had pissed myself. He asked what I thought, and I said I know I didnt (I cant piss when I took X, not a drop) So I believed that it hadnt happened. I still slipped into a state of depression. Had a fear of seeing those people again, and I know from what people have said to my face (most of them when drunk) that everyone thinks I **** and pissed myself and its a ongoing joke behind my back even now years later. I would consider myself a strong person but not a day goes by that I dont think about this and I see those "supposed" mates most weekends which adds to me thinking this and that and do they be nice to my face and dog me behind my back etc.

Any suggestions how to get out of this never ending loop??? I dont think i could go to any of my mates because Ive gotten to the stage I dont trust anyone?

Wurly

Tell these people to get the f*ck over it and find a new thing to talk about...

If you act like you don't care - they won't either.

Everyone does embarrassing things. Realise that. People only 'bully' and take the p1ss out of people when they can see it's bothering them. Act like it doesn't and it will stop.

Overheal

Laugh it off. It would have never become such an ongoing problem if you hadnt made such a big deal about it. Depression? A very embarrassing episode, sure, but you need to be able to laugh at yourself. You know you didnt, you know what happened, and thats why it should be funny.

Nevyn

Really friends will respect your request to drop it, if they don't then they are not the type of people you need as friends or in your life.