Unsettling experience in D2

FlutterinBantam

There was the Flutt just out of an interview for a frikken big job and still a bit shaky when he decides to hop in to La Stampa in Dawson St. for a stiffener.

Interview went well apart from some English bint trying to catch out the Flutt with "5 year plans" and "projected career path" stuff.

"I'll project a plug of jizz between your eyes you cnunt", I though ,but that's beside the point.

"Margerita Horse" I says to the barkeep and settled back to unwind and enjoy the ambiance which in fairness was nice and relaxed.

Anyways about 45 mins later needed to take a wizz ,into the well appointed set up and prepared... in waddles a well "down lineman" is the build, around 6'1" and about 340 lbs and heads for a stall.
Now here's the thing, doesn't close the door,wide open,drops the kex and settles on the pot.
"Fookin 'ell" I says to meself ,this is a new one on me,when there is a slight

"Pfffft.hssssoop" from the stall and then ,well like a sack of chicken fillets into a half filled bath fcuker blew the lot out:eek:

Door wide open proceeds to clean himself up,inspecting the results .

Then out to wash the hands, at least he did that.

I was gobsmacked and had to proffer a "Them oysters loosen you up don't they" while we abluted at the basins.

Couldn't get over it,anyone ever had such an experience.?

galwayrush

Race ya to the Dublin forum.:D

edit, i have no idea what that's all about.

isnt there a nasty poster forum,

5318008!

Yeah,now that you mention it.

There's this one guy on this forum i frequent who seems to only talk about defecation the whole time.

Talk about inappropriate.

SoupyNorman

Did you get the job?

Berty

Why were you looking at him when he was wiping and then inspecting his own feces?

CianRyan

Hahahahahahahahaha!
Wow, that must have been pretty mental.

Nothing like that really, one thing though.
Was in the legal eagle with my mate to play a gig, was there early and all the lights weren't on yet.
Mate decided he needed to take a piss, so down the dark stairwell we go to the jax. We couldn't find a light switch down there, so he proceeded to go by memory and he thought he had found the urinal, let it rip so he did.
Have way through the piss i found the light switch, and to our surprise it was not the urinal he found, instead it was a radiator.
The dirty fúcker just finished up and left it there, i was shocked but at the same time all i could do was laugh.
We just kind of left it there and didn't tell anyone, we left promptly after i was done and i haven't been back since.

Le gross...

recycle

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

There was the Flutt just out of an interview for a frikken big job and still a bit shaky when he decides to hop in to La Stampa in Dawson St. for a stiffener.

Interview went well apart from some English bint trying to catch out the Flutt with "5 year plans" and "projected career path" stuff.

"I'll project a plug of jizz between your eyes you cnunt", I though ,but that's beside the point.

"Margerita Horse" I says to the barkeep and settled back to unwind and enjoy the ambiance which in fairness was nice and relaxed.

Anyways about 45 mins later needed to take a wizz ,into the well appointed set up and prepared... in waddles a well "down lineman" is the build, around 6'1" and about 340 lbs and heads for a stall.
Now here's the thing, doesn't close the door,wide open,drops the kex and settles on the pot.
"Fookin 'ell" I says to meself ,this is a new one on me,when there is a slight

"Pfffft.hssssoop" from the stall and then ,well like a sack of chicken fillets into a half filled bath fcuker blew the lot out:eek:

Door wide open proceeds to clean himself up,inspecting the results .

Then out to wash the hands, at least he did that.

I was gobsmacked and had to proffer a "Them oysters loosen you up don't they" while we abluted at the basins.

Couldn't get over it,anyone ever had such an experience.?

Sitting English Paper I this morning?

Creative Writing Fail

shenanigans1982

recycle wrote: »

Sitting English Paper I this morning?

Creative Writing Fail

Gimmick posting fail.

Ruu_Old

Lets just put a pin in that for now and we'll touch base later. I'll keep you in the loop.

Ostrom

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

There was the Flutt just out of an interview for a frikken big job and still a bit shaky when he decides to hop in to La Stampa in Dawson St. for a stiffener.

Interview went well apart from some English bint trying to catch out the Flutt with "5 year plans" and "projected career path" stuff.

"I'll project a plug of jizz between your eyes you cnunt", I though ,but that's beside the point.

"Margerita Horse" I says to the barkeep and settled back to unwind and enjoy the ambiance which in fairness was nice and relaxed.

Anyways about 45 mins later needed to take a wizz ,into the well appointed set up and prepared... in waddles a well "down lineman" is the build, around 6'1" and about 340 lbs and heads for a stall.
Now here's the thing, doesn't close the door,wide open,drops the kex and settles on the pot.
"Fookin 'ell" I says to meself ,this is a new one on me,when there is a slight

"Pfffft.hssssoop" from the stall and then ,well like a sack of chicken fillets into a half filled bath fcuker blew the lot out:eek:

Door wide open proceeds to clean himself up,inspecting the results .

Then out to wash the hands, at least he did that.

I was gobsmacked and had to proffer a "Them oysters loosen you up don't they" while we abluted at the basins.

Couldn't get over it,anyone ever had such an experience.?

Farts and poop stories are always funny

5318008!

5318008! wrote: »

Yeah,now that you mention it.

There's this one guy on this forum i frequent who seems to only talk about defecation the whole time.

Talk about inappropriate.

theres a word for it too, coprology.

obsessed with it.
I suppose when all you talk is S***, you DO become obsessed.
Imagine staring and observing,, jeez, disgusting.

Volvoboy

JOB!!???!!!

muletide

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

There was the Flutt just out of an interview for a frikken big job and still a bit shaky when he decides to hop in to La Stampa in Dawson St. for a stiffener.

Interview went well apart from some English bint trying to catch out the Flutt with "5 year plans" and "projected career path" stuff.

"I'll project a plug of jizz between your eyes you cnunt", I though ,but that's beside the point.

"Margerita Horse" I says to the barkeep and settled back to unwind and enjoy the ambiance which in fairness was nice and relaxed.

Anyways about 45 mins later needed to take a wizz ,into the well appointed set up and prepared... in waddles a well "down lineman" is the build, around 6'1" and about 340 lbs and heads for a stall.
Now here's the thing, doesn't close the door,wide open,drops the kex and settles on the pot.
"Fookin 'ell" I says to meself ,this is a new one on me,when there is a slight

"Pfffft.hssssoop" from the stall and then ,well like a sack of chicken fillets into a half filled bath fcuker blew the lot out:eek:

Door wide open proceeds to clean himself up,inspecting the results .

Then out to wash the hands, at least he did that.

I was gobsmacked and had to proffer a "Them oysters loosen you up don't they" while we abluted at the basins.

Couldn't get over it,anyone ever had such an experience.?

Repeat after me "I am not Pighead"

Fulton Crown

Hey - as far as I can make out the poster was IN the can when the guy came in to burst the badge.

So he tries to pop one without closing the door..whats the big deal ?

From the description it looked like a "clean shoot" with minimal audio.

Be different if he was tryin to flitter the bell off himself in full view IMO.

So he does the usual clean up an "check for powder burns" as it were...standard operatin procedure this poster would opine......?

Ablutes an goes.....where the freekin problem.....

admiralofthefleet

there is an old dude in the pub i work in that gets through at least 25 pints of porter and mushy peas on a saturday and sunday. i wont go into details but we make sure there is plenty of bleach and hot water available at the weekend

x in the city

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

There was the Flutt just out of an interview for a frikken big job and still a bit shaky when he decides to hop in to La Stampa in Dawson St. for a stiffener.

Interview went well apart from some English bint trying to catch out the Flutt with "5 year plans" and "projected career path" stuff.

"I'll project a plug of jizz between your eyes you cnunt", I though ,but that's beside the point.

"Margerita Horse" I says to the barkeep and settled back to unwind and enjoy the ambiance which in fairness was nice and relaxed.

Anyways about 45 mins later needed to take a wizz ,into the well appointed set up and prepared... in waddles a well "down lineman" is the build, around 6'1" and about 340 lbs and heads for a stall.
Now here's the thing, doesn't close the door,wide open,drops the kex and settles on the pot.
"Fookin 'ell" I says to meself ,this is a new one on me,when there is a slight

"Pfffft.hssssoop" from the stall and then ,well like a sack of chicken fillets into a half filled bath fcuker blew the lot out:eek:

Door wide open proceeds to clean himself up,inspecting the results .

Then out to wash the hands, at least he did that.

I was gobsmacked and had to proffer a "Them oysters loosen you up don't they" while we abluted at the basins.

Couldn't get over it,anyone ever had such an experience.?

wat?

Every post i read on ah seems to have been written with someone with the intellect of a raspberry, are ye really that bad.?

Loopy

Ruu wrote: »

I'll keep you in the loop.

Danke;)

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

jester77

You must have pissed a river if you were there to witness all that, unless you stayed to watch??

trout

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

there is an old dude in the pub i work in that gets through at least 25 pints of porter and mushy peas on a saturday ...

You can get mushy peas by the pint now ? Gotta get me some of that.

Red Hand

Ruu wrote: »

Lets just put a pin in that for now and we'll touch base later. I'll keep you in the loop.

I'd like to blue sky on it first, and then maybe make a decision by close of play?

Gran Hermano

Iolar wrote: »

How does one apply to be a peeping tom in male cubicles?

Probably stuck his 'CV' in a glory hole.

artanevilla

Iolar wrote: »

How does one apply to be a peeping tom in male cubicles?

You just have to own a drill.

Borneo Fnctn

I'll probably get hopped on for saying this but boardsies with gimmicks don't amuse me. This chap is always going on about having a ****e and looking for really flowery ways of saying it.. That Pighead chap always refers to himself in the third person. I guess it can be funny until it's predictable.

CreepingDeath

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

There was the Flutt just out of an interview for a frikken big job

What was the job for ? Toilet Attendant and that was a role playing test?

like clockwork!

My goodness, after hours really is full of a load of sour arses isnt it? I for one always have a snigger or two when I read one of flutterinbantams posts. Why are people on here such drysh'ites that they dont find sh'ittng funny?

The only thing the nerds on this forum seem to find funny are simpsons references, puns and "i for one welcome..." jokes.

easyeason3

jackpalance wrote: »

I'll probably get hopped on for saying this but boardsies with gimmicks don't amuse me. This chap is always going on about having a ****e and looking for really flowery ways of saying it.. That Pighead chap always refers to himself in the third person. I guess it can be funny until it's predictable.

HOP

SoupyNorman

like clockwork! wrote: »

My goodness, after hours really is full of a load of sour arses isnt it?

The Flut having the sourest in the land.

like clockwork! wrote: »

I for one always have a snigger or two when I read one of flutterinbantams posts. Why are people on here such drysh'ites that they dont find sh'ittng funny?

Jaysus, drysh1ts are no laughing matter...it's like trying to pass a sanding block

like clockwork! wrote: »

The only thing the nerds on this forum seem to find funny are simpsons references, puns and "i for one welcome..." jokes.

I for one welcome this n00bular nerd-hater.

Nichololas

like clockwork! wrote: »

My goodness, after hours really is full of a load of sour arses isnt it? I for one always have a snigger or two when I read one of flutterinbantams posts. Why are people on here such drysh'ites that they dont find sh'ittng funny?

The only thing the nerds on this forum seem to find funny are simpsons references, puns and "i for one welcome..." jokes.

Shít posters are obviously getting hit hardest by the recession.

Armin_Tamzarian

jackpalance wrote: »

I'll probably get hopped on for saying this but boardsies with gimmicks don't amuse me. This chap is always going on about having a ****e and looking for really flowery ways of saying it.. That Pighead chap always refers to himself in the third person. I guess it can be funny until it's predictable.

At least they make an effort and add something different to the sea of overused references and cheap shot FAIL comments that you get sick of seeing around here.

Although it's alot easier to criticise than to try adding something original yourself, isn't it?

like clockwork!

Armin_Tamzarian wrote: »

At least they make an effort and add something different to the sea of overused references and cheap shot FAIL comments that you get sick of seeing around here.

Although it's alot easier to criticise than to try adding something original yourself, isn't it?

Agreed Tam. What have the "jack palances" of these fora ever done to add to the humour or discussion? :eek:

Dyr

Armin_Tamzarian wrote: »

Although it's alot easier to criticise than to try adding something original yourself, isn't it?

imitating the classic pighead template right down to the third person narrative isnt very original though, is it?

Borneo Fnctn

Armin_Tamzarian wrote: »

Although it's alot easier to criticise than to try adding something original yourself, isn't it?

Well what's original about rehashing the same thing time and time again?

Armin_Tamzarian

jackpalance wrote: »

Well what's original about rehashing the same thing time and time again?

What do you mean what's original?
There was a new location, La Stampa and a new tipple of choice, a Margerita.

Usually his stories involve him drinking Scrumpy Jack behind a bus shelter.

kelle

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

There was the Flutt just out of an interview for a frikken big job and still a bit shaky when he decides to hop in to La Stampa in Dawson St. for a stiffener.

Interview went well apart from some English bint trying to catch out the Flutt with "5 year plans" and "projected career path" stuff.

"I'll project a plug of jizz between your eyes you cnunt", I though ,but that's beside the point.

"Margerita Horse" I says to the barkeep and settled back to unwind and enjoy the ambiance which in fairness was nice and relaxed.

Anyways about 45 mins later needed to take a wizz ,into the well appointed set up and prepared... in waddles a well "down lineman" is the build, around 6'1" and about 340 lbs and heads for a stall.
Now here's the thing, doesn't close the door,wide open,drops the kex and settles on the pot.
"Fookin 'ell" I says to meself ,this is a new one on me,when there is a slight

"Pfffft.hssssoop" from the stall and then ,well like a sack of chicken fillets into a half filled bath fcuker blew the lot out:eek:

Door wide open proceeds to clean himself up,inspecting the results .

Then out to wash the hands, at least he did that.

I was gobsmacked and had to proffer a "Them oysters loosen you up don't they" while we abluted at the basins.

Couldn't get over it,anyone ever had such an experience.?

I guess it's just something about you, the kind of presence that makes one want to drop their trousers and go hell for leather as nature intended while under your observation.

Never had such an experience (if you discount toddler toilet training incidents), because I haven't met you yet in RL.

DublinWriter

Looks like La Stampa's clientèle has gone to sh*t.

DonkeyStyle \o/

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Door wide open proceeds to clean himself up,inspecting the results .

Well how else is he supposed to know when he's finished wiping?
Scrunched up pieces of shít-covered toilet paper are only disgusting when it's someone else's eh?

bantee

How long does it take you to have a whiz? And you had time to watch this guy take a dump and clean his hole?

Degsy

bantee wrote: »

How long does it take you to have a whiz? And you had time to watch this guy take a dump and clean his hole?

Dont forget to also stand there gassing to yer man about what he ate.

Another typical flutter post,made up in order to shoehorn in as many scat references as possible without repeating yourself.

Ostrom

muletide wrote: »

Repeat after me "I am not Pighead"

Is it safe to ask about the third person posting without cutting remarks/history search for insults?

Smcgie

CianRyan wrote: »

Hahahahahahahahaha!
Wow, that must have been pretty mental.

Nothing like that really, one thing though.
Was in the legal eagle with my mate to play a gig, was there early and all the lights weren't on yet.
Mate decided he needed to take a piss, so down the dark stairwell we go to the jax. We couldn't find a light switch down there, so he proceeded to go by memory and he thought he had found the urinal, let it rip so he did.
Have way through the piss i found the light switch, and to our surprise it was not the urinal he found, instead it was a radiator.
The dirty fúcker just finished up and left it there, i was shocked but at the same time all i could do was laugh.
We just kind of left it there and didn't tell anyone, we left promptly after i was done and i haven't been back since.

Le gross...

God you have little to do!