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Messed up and don't know what i can do

  • 03-06-2009 9:44am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi,
    Without making this too long my gf of 11 months has been busy with exams the last few weeks and we didn't see each other and communication almost stopped completely. I started to get a bit paranoid and the other night i asked her if she was bored with me. She was very upset but i went to see her the next day ad we talked and things seemed ok. So then yesterday i was with her all day and she very depressed/serious looking all day and she never smiled or kissed me.
    I asked her why last night and she said it was because the only thing she could think about when she was with me was that i thought she wasn't interested in me and there was nothing i could do to stop. It really hurts me to know that i'm still upsetting her and that there's nothing i can do. Does anyone have any advice or ideas on anything i could possibly do?..


Comments

  • #2
    legend365
    Closed Accounts Posts: 460 ✭✭legend365


    My ex-gf used to do this alot. Big turn off tbh.

    Only thing i could say is try forget about it and get past it. If you keep up the paranoia she'll get fed up pretty quickly.


  • #3
    Wurly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,095 ✭✭✭Wurly


    It appears to be her issue here and not anything to do with you.

    You were right to ask what was going on - no contact in a relationship is odd. So I am not surprised you got 'paranoid'.

    From what I can see from your post, you have done nothing wrong and have certainly not 'messed up'. You asked a simple question and now she's throwing that back in your face. You had a right to ask that question.

    Ask her what her problem is. The 'serious and quiet' thing all the time would really get on my wick.

    I could guess as to why she's being quiet etc etc. But i'm not her and I don't know anything about your relationship other than what you have told me.

    Ask her why she's being so quiet and serious. You have noticed a shift and are concerned.

    If she won't talk, then there is nothing else you can do. Leave her be for a bit and let her contact you again.


  • #4
    shellyboo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    Heh, classic technique.

    She did something wrong (ignoring you), and now to take the heat off her, she's turning it around on you. She's being a bit of a brat. Leave her to it, I say. She'll cheer up soon enough when you realise you're not going to put up with her sulking.

    If you have to talk to her about it again, tell her you thought you had settled the issue the other night, but if she wants to discuss it again, you can - make sure she knows there's nothing more you can do than that, and if she wants to continue to sulk afterwards then you won't be sticking around to watch her do it, and give her some space.

    She's quite clearly very good at manipulating you if you've convinced yourself you "messed up" by telling her you had a concern about your relationship. Take a step back and look at what's actually happened here - if needs be, point it out to her as well. You haven't messed up at all, she's just being childish.


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