Desperate For Intimate Contact

LegacyUser

Mods, if you think this thread is better suited in the Relationships sub-forum, feel free to move it.

Basically, I'm an 18 year-old male, I've never had a girlfriend or anything near to a girlfriend, and I feel like I'm missing out. All of my friends are out-going, going to bars, having laughs with their girlfriends, but that's just not my scene. I'm overweight, shy, and would much rather stay at home watching the TV or playing the PS3.

I think that as a teenager-turning-man, I should be able to experience some sexual satisfaction. After all, pornography can only sustain you for so long.

I'm not really sure what I'm looking for by posting here. Perhaps someone would have some advise on some sites or elsewhere that I could look (not prostitution, as that would be a VERY last resort). Perhaps someone could give me some advice on something else, or perhaps if I'm lucky someone could help me out sexually.

I honestly don't know what I want from this thread, so just post away and I'll reply in due course.

Nervous Wreck

Anon O'Mous wrote: »

would much rather stay at home watching the TV or playing the PS3.

That's your problem right there. You don't win a race by staying in bed.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

StormWarrior

OP what do you look like? You don't happen to be an extremely hot Swedish guy do you, because if you are I could help you out.

Taltos

Hi OP.

Don't worry about the TV & PS3 - they are not the cause of why you are feeling how you do, but they are crutches, they basically help you escape from having to deal with your concerns.

When I was your age (back in the days of myth and legend ) I too had little self-confidence and not much of a social life. Am now happily married - though still not too huge of a social life - so there are ways out of this, still love the PS3 though...

Here are some pointers - hopefully one will suit you, but there is no quick happy pill that will change your life suddenly - only you can do that.
1. You need to decide to change your life; so take responsibility for yourself and do not put the onus on friends/family or fate.
2. Get out of the house - try a few different things; even something that you think is silly. Some examples might be - rugby; soccer; gaelic; kayaking; rock climbing; orienteering. Choose something where you will meet folk that you would not normally meet; and make an effort just to chat - initially about the activity you are doing - ie can they give you pointers and slowly build it up so that you are building friendships.

>> These will do some different things for you
a) You will meet different people - expanding your social circle
b) You will find something you enjoy doing - as a result your confidence will improve & you will find something you ENJOY talking to others about - hence give you something to strike up a conversation about
c) You will hopefully learn to be happy with you and get to know yourself better - this is key before you ever go into a relationship.

Once your confidence improves you will be amazed at how you feel and how much easier it will be to meet someone. People are more attracted to happy folk - if you are walking around with a bounce in your step and a grin from your new life it will be alot more appealing to potential partners and friends.

BUT DO NOT - go out doing these things with the intention of getting a date or meeting someone.
That should happen - but if you go out with the only intention of hooking up - well people can tell - you could be lucky - but you might be unlucky too.

So in short - just go out and try to have some fun just for you, and in the course of doing this you will meet loads of new people - and you never know...

Best of luck
T

Wibbs

StormWarrior how was that a helpful post? No more or you will be taking a break.

Genghiz Cohen

On the topic of hobbies, was at an archery competition the other day, looks like alot of fun with a nice mix of men and women of all ages.
Great place to make friends and get over any shyness.

The club will supply you with beginners gear until you are sure of what you want. Give it a lash!

legend365

Keep the PS3 but throw the telly out the window! Nothin worse than people wasting there lives watching tv.

You can hug ur PS3 from time to time...since you dont have a telly to play it on.

LegacyUser

OP, people won't knock your bedroom door looking for you! you have to get out there and make some effort to meet people. There isn't anything wrong with sitting at home playing the PS3. But it's hardly the most social activity. Have you any hobbies you could turn to a club or organisation with? Something that could help you meet people and invest your time in something productive? And it could be good for you if you aren't in to the club/pub scene.
And I think you have a wrong attitude, just because you are "teenager turning man" doesn't entitle you to have sex! You shouldn't compare yourself to anyone, your friends, porn actors, anyone. It's your life and you are responsible for how it turns out.

Phil the Drill

Stop worrying about it. 18 is ok! You have plenty of time man.

My advice: Stop trying to get laid and stop caring so much, as soon as i realised it wasnt so important i started scoring like ronaldo (last season) its a weird reverse psychology thing you have to use on yourself.

galwaylad

So in short - just go out and try to have some fun just for you, and in the course of doing this you will meet loads of new people - and you never know...

I strongly agree with Taltos, you have to get out there...Put your shyness aside and you will get rewards from meeting new people, men and Women.

Best of luck

Galwaylad

LegacyUser

Phil the Drill wrote: »

Stop worrying about it. 18 is ok! You have plenty of time man.

My advice: Stop trying to get laid and stop caring so much, as soon as i realised it wasnt so important i started scoring like ronaldo (last season) its a weird reverse psychology thing you have to use on yourself.

Same here! Worrying about it and analysing it all the time will just stress you out and make it much less likely to happen. (Of course that's easier said than done)

It's an unfortunate fact of life but woman can smell desperation and unfortunately just aren't into it!

Latchy

Anon O'Mous wrote: »

I'm not really sure what I'm looking for by posting here. Perhaps someone would have some advise on some sites or elsewhere that I could look (not prostitution, as that would be a VERY last resort). Perhaps someone could give me some advice on something else, or perhaps if I'm lucky someone could help me out sexually.

If, as you seem to be suggesting ,somebody help you out sexually ,it would be much like prostitution without the payment . Unless you get lucky ,Your gonna have to form a relationship with somebody to get the hoped for sex .

RossFixxxed

I think that as a teenager-turning-man, I should be able to experience some sexual satisfaction.

Should, but there is no right or guarantee. At all.

Women will see desperation a mile away (as will men) and it is not an attractive quality. It's a bit of a catch 22, you dont want to look desperate to get with someone whom you are desperate to get with.

But as others have said you will have to work on YOU and ONLY YOU to improve this. Exercise more, get some interests that are outside of the house etc and build you character. Gain confidence and ultimately if you wanna get women you're gong to have to go and talk to them!!

Looking for someone to 'help you out sexually' on boards? Really? Come on these things don't work like that. Secondly if you've made this big a deal of sexual encounters get ready for the worst nerves and disaster of your life! It rarely goes well the first (even first few) times so pulling some easy woman (with a LOT of experience and the inherent expectations) may well be a terrible idea. What do others think on this?

I think (and it's only my opinion) if you improve yourself, get into the world more and meet some women you may find someone you are comfortable and intimate with so that you can explore and learn these things and get something out of it. Being sorted out sexually like you are asking above is really just pornography with a fancy puppet tbh.

Good luck dude, it seems terrible but sitting around building it up is gonna make it 100000000 times worse.

R

cock robin

For a start there aint nothing basic about being an 18 yo male in todays society. My heart goes out to you dude. But I bet if all your sexually experienced pals had to take a polygraph then you best get a bigger sofa. Be very cautious with porn. Porn lives in the mind and while the odd browse is cool, things can get out of control. The answers your looking for are not on any site. You learn them as part of life. But dude life aint coming to get you. You have to go out and experience it for yourself. Just remember look for something more than sex with the ladies. That only satisfies your needs. Which may be part of your troubles. Get up, get out and get going. Its all out there waiting for you.

LegacyUser

Before you can find someone else you have to find yourself. You have to be happy with you. If you don't like you how the hell is someone else gonna.

And also...wtf!

Anon O'Mous wrote: »

Perhaps someone could give me some advice on something else, or perhaps if I'm lucky someone could help me out sexually.

QUOTE]

If your pullin the piss here fair enough but if your serious, if you think some woman is gonna read your post and say to herself "ya, sure why not, i'll pop down and sort him out", then you must be watchin too much porn and have feck all respect for women. They don't just exist to service your needs mate, ffs. Put down your PS3, start training, get your self in shape, get out there and meet people, clubs and societies might be the way to go.