Asked a girl out - finally

LegacyUser

A few months ago I told here the story about the girl that works close to me that I fancied. Last week (monday) I finally asked her out and since I did quite an unexpected move to her...she accepted my invitation and out of all nervousness I took my cellphone out of the pocket and got her to give me her number. I decided to give it a one day and half break and texted her only on the next Wednesday asking if she had any plans for next friday (or last friday, at this moment). I know most people will think "Huh, inviting a girl out on a friday night has got some kind of well-crafted thoughts going on", but that's purely only because of her shifts - read below.

She told me she didnt have any plans but that she wanted to do something together. I asked her whether she'd like to go to this bar in town and she didn't reply. I figured since she gets up at least 5 in the morning that my text at 9pm was possibly a bit "too late" in her schedules. Next day no answer either, so I decided to re-send the text that noon and she came back to me saying that she was having problems with her family and that she's going back to her home country in a week time and that she wasn't in the mood, if I minded if we could return to this after she comes back. I told her absolutely no problem and wished her best of luck. Friday morning I saw her and talked to her and got to know her mother was sick and she is going next friday to her home country. Again gave her some positive advice and wishes.

At first, when I received her first text, I thought she was just trying to skip the date for whatever reason - i.e maybe she didn't fancy me, but on the other hand, I think if she really wanted to skip our meeting, she wouldn't have said she was willing to do something with me and afterwards come up with an excuse involving her family.

However, what drives me to post here is that a weekend has passed since I last talked to her.. and I've been always thinking about picking up on the cellphone and text her, but I don't know whether it'd be appropriate, because at this stage there's not even a friendship yet. I wanted to tell her that she can count on me for whatever she needs w/o getting caught into the friend zone. I reckon that, when I see her again after she comes from her homecountry, that I will have to show some feelings for her-as-a-whole and ask her about her mother, but what if something really happened during this time? I surely wont want to hear/see the news... on the other hand...I would like to know what - in general and common sense - do you think the best behavior would be, whilst keeping the interest alive, should I text her? if so, how often? should I ask about her mother before she comes back? I don't want to be felt as pushy or sensed as being too much into her, as to not have the opposite effect.

Please, opinionate, but above all, provide some positive suggestions. I know the kind of things I am expecting from the readers, but I would trully appreciate some suggestions and your thoughts about how to approach her.

togster

I suggest you chill out and see what happens.

ManOfMystery

I think she has enough to think about - she'll appreciate your maturity more if you give her some space like she asked.

LegacyUser

Just relax, it's only a single weekend, there'll be hundreds more. It'll be much easier if you don't try too hard. No point in hounding her at this point.

Nervous Wreck

Yeah, I'd chill out and not text her until she comes back. Just wait until you see her again in work. She's got a lot on her mind and if you push the issue, you'll push her away. Also, I wouldn't really flat out ask about how her mother is doing as that can be a little (or a lot) intrusive. Your best bet is to wait until she's back to work and say something casual but nice like "Hey, it's great to see you back, I hope everything's going okay." and see how she responds. Don't force anything though.

LegacyUser

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

Yeah, I'd chill out and not text her until she comes back. Just wait until you see her again in work. She's got a lot on her mind and if you push the issue, you'll push her away. Also, I wouldn't really flat out ask about how her mother is doing as that can be a little (or a lot) intrusive. Your best bet is to wait until she's back to work and say something casual but nice like "Hey, it's great to see you back, I hope everything's going okay." and see how she responds. Don't force anything though.

Thanks everyone. Thanks for the suggestions. I agree with everyone in here.