This world is an angry place

LegacyUser

Hi everyone, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about my life and everything around me, and a lot of particular problems I've been going through.

The problem is that I seem to be hyper-sensitive to everything around me. I am hurt deeply by things people say and do, not just to me, but to others. I am affected by the news, by all the hurt in the world, and spend hours of my day thinking about everything, and the point of it all. Everything is about greed, materialism, one-upmanship and aggression. I feel removed from other people. I have no interest in their lives.

It's not just a case of turning off the tv and going out and having a few pints and forgetting about it. It is my whole makeup, and I cannot just ignore it. But it affects my whole life. It is inclined to manifest itself in a deep seated anger towards people. The very anger I hate in others. I am very open to people of any walk of life, but I find myself not just rejected, but annoyed and dismayed by what I perceive as the bad behaviour of people towards others, much of the time needlessly so.

The other thing is, that as I become annoyed and dismayed, I become more hardened towards the world. The thing is I show no emotion at all, either sadness or happiness. I never get excited by anything. Likewise if I am deeply hurt or annoyed, I do not display it. I have all the appearances of a very dull and boring and unemotional person, uninterested in others. I am inclined to expect to be disappointed in other people.

I know I shouldn't be so sensitive, but like I say, it's in my whole makeup. I would love to hear from others who feel so deeply about things, and how they manage to get on with life and not let it affect them so. Because I am starting to become cynical about life. It seems to be a never ending cycle of humans acting greedily and aggressively towards each other, and wasting and abusing this lovely planet they were born into.

There seems to be no place in this aggressive world for sensitive people. How do other sensitive people get by?

Kevster

I am just as sensitive as you are, but you are doing the right thing now by talking about this. A few years ago, I had to remember not to read a newspaper or turn on the news because it simply made me depressed. Over time, I occassionally took 'peeks' at the news, however, and now I can read the news with ease. I still get angry, but I have learned to express that anger by talking about it to others. My father usually takes the brunt of it.

Take stock of what you have though: You are a kind person and do things for others, before doing things for yourself. This can be used to your advantage and - indeed - you can excel at this. I, for example, began posting on a psychological self-help website a few years ago and am now the leading poster at 14,000+ posts. I am also now an Administrator on the site and believe that I will eventually 'inherit' the rights/ownership someday from the current owner.

So, do nice things each day and help people you see as being in need. You could even make a start by replying to other peoples' posts here.

Take care my friend,
Kevin

iguana

If the way the world is upsets you so much I don't really believe that's a psychological problem. The fact is that the world, as wonderful as it can be, is terribly unevenly balanced, so if you are aware of that and it upsets you, use that as a motivating force to bring about change. Volunteer for a charity which means something to you, or better still, pursue a career in that direction. This doesn't have to mean giving up everything in your life, charities need IT people, shop managers, administration workers, marketing and PR people, etc.

There is nothing like getting up every day and working to make a practical difference to the world to help the way you feel. You will also find that you meet more people who feel the way you do, so you won't feel as isolated in the way you feel.

LegacyUser

Hey. You are pretty much describing me (!) but I don't think either you or I have a psychological problem to be honest.
Firstly - stop looking at the news. What are you missing out on?? Pretty much nothing. Since this whole recession business started, I've realised that the media as an entity is shallow , hypocritical and experts on all subjects. the news you see/hear every day is essentially a story with as many adjectives as possible to create as much sensationalism as possible delivered with the journalist's own twist on it. Count how many times in a news bulletin the words "horrific" "tragic" "fatal" "appalling" "desperate" "plunging" "terrible" . . . and others . . . are stuck in every sentence. These words are used to create an effect. People love a good disaster story. Use these words and it grabs attention. It's a trick used by journalists to catch your eye in papers aswell. Look at it this way - the day you need to start getting worried about humanity is the day that good news is headline news every day.Because that really means that good stories - as in, stories of people being nice to each other - are becoming a rarity.
Secondly - you are not responsible for the morality of humanity. All you can expect to do is be a nice person, and hope that affects the people around you. People react to how you treat them. Treat them well/nicely and they are more inclined to react back similarly. And more importantly, you begin to attract nice people to you. The world sees you as you see yourself, you know.Indifference and disinterest will communicate itself to others, no matter how much you think you hide it.
Try volunteering to help people, as suggested. Go out and do good with your life. People vary wildly and you've just got to work with this.Personally, I'm fairly wary of who I become close to as a friend - it makes it less likely for you to get badly hurt by someone (and I don't mean in a romantic way). I've been looking at Irish people for the last few years - greed, one upmanship, the whole works. I'm hoping we're now learning a very hard lesson. The higher they are, the further they fall. . . . .
What I'm trying to say is, enjoy your life. You've only got one. Let other people be responsible for themselves, and lead by example. It's all you can do. People will always surprise you, but you've got to give them the chance to. What would you like them to say about you at your funeral? That you were a nice enough guy (girl?) but never really that interested in anyone around you and they didn't know you that well? Or that you were really decent, that you were reliable, a friend that people could tell problems to, who was generous with their time and wanted the best for everyone they knew - someone they'll really miss.
Sorry to be depressing, but think about it like that!

994

Hyper sensitive wrote: »

Hi everyone, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about my life and everything around me, and a lot of particular problems I've been going through.

The problem is that I seem to be hyper-sensitive to everything around me. I am hurt deeply by things people say and do, not just to me, but to others. I am affected by the news, by all the hurt in the world, and spend hours of my day thinking about everything, and the point of it all. Everything is about greed, materialism, one-upmanship and aggression. I feel removed from other people. I have no interest in their lives.

It's not just a case of turning off the tv and going out and having a few pints and forgetting about it. It is my whole makeup, and I cannot just ignore it. But it affects my whole life. It is inclined to manifest itself in a deep seated anger towards people. The very anger I hate in others. I am very open to people of any walk of life, but I find myself not just rejected, but annoyed and dismayed by what I perceive as the bad behaviour of people towards others, much of the time needlessly so.

The other thing is, that as I become annoyed and dismayed, I become more hardened towards the world. The thing is I show no emotion at all, either sadness or happiness. I never get excited by anything. Likewise if I am deeply hurt or annoyed, I do not display it. I have all the appearances of a very dull and boring and unemotional person, uninterested in others. I am inclined to expect to be disappointed in other people.

I know I shouldn't be so sensitive, but like I say, it's in my whole makeup. I would love to hear from others who feel so deeply about things, and how they manage to get on with life and not let it affect them so. Because I am starting to become cynical about life. It seems to be a never ending cycle of humans acting greedily and aggressively towards each other, and wasting and abusing this lovely planet they were born into.

There seems to be no place in this aggressive world for sensitive people. How do other sensitive people get by?

That's your problem right there. If you feel that you can't tell people that they're upsetting you, then the tiniest thing will make you angry because you feel powerless to prevent it. So practice speaking out.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

LegacyUser

If everybody looked out for their own the world would be a good place.

So, look out for your friends, your family, be nice to your eldery neighbours and to those all around you.

That in itself is you making the difference in the world. Can you imagine if every body did this?

Unfortunately there is good and bad in the world and I too get very upset to think about the stories I read every day and the suffereing of so many people in the world. So what can I do about it?

Unless I'm prepared to go out and single handedly stop all the evil in the world, I shall do my part and look after my own and be nice to those around me. I have to accept that that is all I am capable of doing.

Dagon

I have some of your traits, so I can empathise somewhat. But meditation has helped me hugely to be more compassionate and loving towards people who are filled with negativity and aggression, and I have noticed many situations where my peaceful attitude towards such people has actually neutralised their anger or hostility. It's like pouring cooling water over the fires you see in the world, instead of creating more fires (often within ourselves).

We can't change the world, but we can change ourselves.

I also don't see why a human being needs to be so pre-occupied with information and knowledge of current affairs. I never watch the TV or read newspapers anymore, and I feel happier. I live a simpler life, and I use the internet to read about subjects I'm interested, and keep up with some of what is happening in the world (you don't need to completely shut out the world, hehe). It helps to just... slow... down.

If you need any info on the most powerful meditation techniques to help in this area, and to help develop more loving kindness and compassion towards those who are sometimes difficult to love, PM me.

catbear

i haven't had a TV for two years and my life is definately better without it.
i concentrate on things that i enjoy doing, i don't spend any time on time wasters.

nyarlothothep

Dagon wrote: »

I have some of your traits, so I can empathise somewhat. But meditation has helped me hugely to be more compassionate and loving towards people who are filled with negativity and aggression, and I have noticed many situations where my peaceful attitude towards such people has actually neutralised their anger or hostility. It's like pouring cooling water over the fires you see in the world, instead of creating more fires (often within ourselves).

We can't change the world, but we can change ourselves.

I also don't see why a human being needs to be so pre-occupied with information and knowledge of current affairs. I never watch the TV or read newspapers anymore, and I feel happier. I live a simpler life, and I use the internet to read about subjects I'm interested, and keep up with some of what is happening in the world (you don't need to completely shut out the world, hehe). It helps to just... slow... down.

If you need any info on the most powerful meditation techniques to help in this area, and to help develop more loving kindness and compassion towards those who are sometimes difficult to love, PM me.

This is an interesting point. With regards to the OPs post most of what happens in the world of human affairs is largely unimportant. Its mostly animal politics. We don't care for the disputes of orangutans, I don't see how human politics is any different except for the one caveat which is namely that it affects us since we belong to the same species...so to qualify my point, the negative side of politics, ie genocide, armed offensives, corruption is important insofar as everyone should strive for a better world, the ends don't justify the means and so on, but don't let it drag you down because its just humans mostly being stupid.

AARRRGH

Humans constantly depress me with their utter disregard for others. And the world is a harsh, unfair place.

But what can you do? You can't change the world, you can't change human nature and you certainly can't force crazy people to see the light.

You just have to accept reality and try your best to live your life in a way which makes you proud of yourself, and which will bring you closest to happiness. If that means moving out of the city to a small community, and ignoring the news because it just gets you down, then so be it.

af_thefragile

Hey, this is something that has been bothering me over the past few weeks too.
Ever since i got myself involved into keeping up with politics and the economy. Mostly for two reason. One is that i'm very concerned about my family and how this recession could affect us. We are pretty much living hand to mouth and so everything that happens to the economy, job cuts, salary cuts, exceeding prices, end up making me more nervous about whether we'll be able to make it through this year.
Next is I myself wanna understand more about how it all works so that I can deal with it better and I'm also writing a novel which is slightly political.

Well, so right now i'm still learning but 4 out of 5 things i learn turn out pretty negative and it just hurts and disturbs me.
Everything from watching the news to having discussions with people on forums. It all bothers me deeply when i see people's increasingly negative reaction towards others and when everyone's filled with skepticism, pessimism, anger and hate.

We don't need all these things. All of these things are creations of ourselves and we're destroying eachother with it.

Sometimes I get completely convinced that once i've graduated college I'm gonna leave this country and move to some place more simple and clam. Sometimes I like to believe things will get better and I can manage to adjust myself in here, living the life i want to.

I guess if i had to put my finger on one thing thats bothering me most is the uncertainty ahead of me, in the world. Uncertainly of whether my family can sustain itself through this recession, uncertainty whether our politicians and leaders can get wiser and more caring and sort out this mess, uncertainty towards where humanity itself is heading towards.


And so i have stopped watching the news. I've decided I'm gonna take a break from politics and economic debates for a while too. I need to calm myself down. I need to realise or manage to make sure i'm in control of my life.

LegacyUser

Sometimes you just have to suck it up and deal with it. Sorry if this sounds harsh but the world isn't always a pretty place and we don't live in some garden of paradise. You just have to deal with it the best you can. I hate to see some of the inhuman / subhuman activities that go on in this world but if I pondered too hard on it I would become immobilized with depression.

Advice:

Don't watch news or commercial TV

Get outdoors more in natural habitat.

Read uplifting and inspiring books

Make a difference

LegacyUser

af_thefragile wrote: »

it just hurts and disturbs me.
Everything from watching the news to having discussions with people on forums. It all bothers me deeply when i see people's increasingly negative reaction towards others and when everyone's filled with skepticism, pessimism, anger and hate.

We don't need all these things. All of these things are creations of ourselves and we're destroying eachother with it.

Coming from a person with almost 2000 posts... If people on forums are having such a negative effect on you, then take a break from boards.ie perhaps? In real life you can choose who you're gonna talk to,whereas here you've no choice. Virtual world isn't for everyone.
hope i'm not being offensive.

af_thefragile

Unregistered wrote: »

Coming from a person with almost 2000 posts... If people on forums are having such a negative effect on you, then take a break from boards.ie perhaps? In real life you can choose who you're gonna talk to,whereas here you've no choice. Virtual world isn't for everyone.
hope i'm not being offensive.

Well, its only recently i've gotten into politics... Before that i used to just post around in the music, photography and other not very serious forums like such... which was all quite fun n all.

And its kinda one of those things where it is negative but at the same time i can't shut myself off from the world ya know... However it is, i've gotta live with it and try to understand it so i can deal with it better.

But yeah, i've stopped posting in the political forum and getting into any political debates lately. I need some time off from all of that. I like the virtual world but i guess i prefer the real world to it. Though i'm not too sure bout that last sentence.
Cheers mate, you aren't offensive at all.

RossFixxxed

TBH I think you are perhaps over sensitive. There is a lot of crap out there... BUT there are a lot of decent, loving people and a lot of beauty out there.

The Fragile: Your name is from a NIN song, and that's not a great start... and I'm a fan. You can get stuck in that sensitive, depressive loop and miss a lot. God knows I've been that guy many many times.

To both of you: if you concentrate on the ugly, the upsetting etc that will make you worse. You get good at what you practice! That's a simple thing but it's very true. If you are THAT affected by these issues, and that it affects your life, you may be depressed. I'm not diagnosing but maybe you should go to a GP and ask about this?


I used to be very, very much like this but I've found as I improve myself my interests have mellowed out: I don't get as angry at crap films, I don't get as upset by the news. I'm less drawn to shocking websites etc...

It's not music/tv that makes you depressed, it's being depressed that draws you to these things. Also the News would make the Dali Lama sucidal. Everything is so overhyped, close the newspaper and don't watch it on TV for a while.

Do something nice soon, go up the mountains and watch the sunset!

Good luck OP, I think a change within you will change the world around you!

R

af_thefragile

Cheers on picking up "the fragile" bit.
Its more of a tribute to the album by NIN. One of the best album i've ever listened to.
And I know it all too well how NIN can drag you down with it. Especially the album The Downward Spiral. It will drag you into a downward spiral!
But no, i listen to quite happy and positive music now days (been listening to Norah Jones lately!)...

Apart from that. Guess i have become quite over sensitive lately.
Maybe the internet and the news are to blame.
And partly I have to take the blame for it too. I'm working on two things right now which make me focus and pick out the flaws in todays society. To name them, its a novel i'm working on and some punk music i'm writing.
Not very positive.

But I have been shifting and this summer i've made the conscious decision to shift my focus towards the more positive things to life.
So for the next month, no news, no political discussion, no crap talk. Just gonna focusing on the things I like to do that make me happy and try to streamline my life more.


Also I have to put a note on the very ADD like effects of the internet. I don't think there has ever been a time before in mankind where one could have access to so much information so instantly. This is what the internet does and I don't think the brain is not very efficient in dealing with all this high load of information. On the internet, especially on forums you're constantly jumping from one topic to another, gathering and processing all these different and random bits of information rapidly, over time it completely destroys the linearity of thought.
I noticed this to a great extent today when I could barely prepare for a speech today properly. My mind was constantly jumping from one thought to another and I could barely maintain my train of thought which would let me rehearse the full speech in one go. Also notice this when i'm writing for my novel or songs. Mind keeps jumping everywhere and it gets almost impossible to maintain any kind of linearity of thought for an amount of time that can let you finish the task in one go.

All this is really not good and so I have decided to take a break from the internet.
Probably starting tomorrow till the end of this month i'm not gonna go on the internet. Not gonna watch any news and not gonna waste my time doing nothing. Can pick up on political and economic issues once i've decided i've had enough of a break!

I'm gonna focus on reading, writing, my fitness, my photography and my music. That should help me fight back my ADD and get back to my linear train of thought/stream of consciousness like thinking.

RossFixxxed

Fair play mate, and you're not wrong on the downward spiral!! I've listened to it lately and it sounds so so different now! Fair play to ya there. Once you work on yourself the outside world will seem different too. The Internet can be great but there is always the danger if your mind is drawn to darker things the Internet can show you anything at all right in your living room! There's no urban legends just the video of the guy who did it!

Best of luck!