Totally lost

LegacyUser

Hi all

Some background info first:

I'm 20 and have done three years of a four year degree, just finished up with exams last week.

Now the dilema:

I'm feeling so completely lost at the moment and I get so annoyed at myself for it, I have no reason to be down about anything, my family are in good health, my parents have no financial difficulties, I don't even have to worry about spending money and they pay for college for me. I'm pretty sure that I failed at least 9/12 of my exams for this year and I hate that my self worth is based on academic achievement. I can't see why my parents would be proud of me. They always go on about how intelligent I am because I got highest in my year in school in DATS but I have never exceeded academically, like, I would nearly consider myself less than mediocre. I've told them that there's a good chance I won't pass this year and they're not mad, just upset for me that it didn't work out. I don't even know if I want to continue with my course or just drop out. Also, last year, my best friend in college stopped talking to me because she thought I was carrying on with my ex. She ranted about me no end to a mutually good friend about me and now it's like them against me. We live together and sometimes I just spend all evening crying to my bf (who's so wonderful) about the situation and how I feel about it. I just feel so isolated which is hard because I've always been popular enough. There's so much other stuff that's gone to sh*t recently that I would say but I've gone on a bit.

Any advice proffered would be so appreciated

Thanks

LegacyUser

Do the repeat exams in August and do forth year.

After spending 3 years at it, and your parents having paid your way, I think you owe it to them, and yourself, to get the head down and put the effort in.

The repeat exams will be similar enough in structure and topic to the summer exams, and you have all summer to study. A few hours a night will do it. Passing college exams is all about how much effort you have put into it, and not so much about your level of intelligence.

In this day and age, a 4 years honours degree is nearly a must if you are looking to get a decent job.

couerdelion

I think you need to sit down and have some time to yourself to think about your future and what you want to do.

You don't need to do fourth year if you feel it isn't worth it and you don't owe completing your course to anyone other than yourself.

I can't remember where I read it but try this excercise: Write your obitury as if you were hit by a bus tomorrow. Be honest about it and critique it when you've finished. After doing that excercise write the obitury you would like to have. Compare and contrast and you have a framework for your future. The only way you will get what you want is buy living the life you want, only you know what that involves and how to get there.

Good luck.

Firetrap

I think that since you've done 3 years of your course, that unless you hate the thing, you should look into sitting the repeats and completing it. You're not the first person to have failed their exams and you won't be the last. Personally, I'd be slow to drop out. Down the line when you're looking for a job, those 3 years you spent on a course you didn't finish might not look good to a prospective employer. More importantly, if you do decide to jack in the course, what will you do instead? Have you a different course in mind?

It looks to me like the pressure of everything has gotten in on top of you. Sometimes when a series of things goes wrong on you and you're under pressure, Is there any way you can go away for a couple of days. Anywhere just to get away from it all and to enjoy yourself. Perhaps when you're out of the pressure cooker you're current in, you might be able to see things in perspective.

You are seriously underselling yourself if you think that your parents only value you because of your academic achievements. I bet they are really proud of you for so many things and that DATS achievement (sorry...I've no idea what it is - must be showing my age!) is just one thing that you've done to make them proud. Sometimes parents aren't so good at telling you that they love you just for being you. Academic achievements don't mean jack sh!t really in the grand scale of things. You're still young but you will learn once you go out into the big bad world that after a while, where you went to college and what your grades were don't mean a lot except when you're going for interviews.