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Big rant

  • 30-05-2009 09:42PM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭


    Sorry but this rant is a bit all over the place but once I started I couldn't stop.



    I'm a 21 year old guy but I am acting like a 12 year old kid.

    About two months ago I was out on a college night out and it was a pretty quite night and I notice a nice looking girl looking over in my direction and smiling right at me but I just pass it off. Later on that night I noticed that she and her two other friends had followed me around a bit (one of which I am really kicking myself over as they sat right beside me and my friends but I go over and talk to a guy I don't really like because I got scared) anyho I never approached her and I ended up kicking myself over it for almost two weeks (as we had the next week off college and I didn't have anything to take my mind off it) but once I was back in college I kinda forgot about because of other women around campus.

    I see her out again about a week later but she did even show me the same type of interested but later that night she ended up dancing right beside me and my jacket got caught in her friends bag but I unhook it and give the thumps up (ever so cringeworthy now looking back at it) but it was a fantastic opportunity to start taking to them.

    I see her around campus a few times after that.

    Then there on Thursday I was out for the end of exams and I see her out again but I do jack about and I notice a few guys chatting her up and it made me really pissed off at myself for not being able to have the guts to do such a thing. I drank a bit more then I would have that night but looking back on it I actually ended up following the girl around the place which was very stalkerish which is a bit worrying in my eyes.

    I wont be seeing her again now for four months when we are back in college that's even if she comes back.

    Looking forward to the next few months I can see myself kicking myself over and over to these missed opportunities as I don't have many female interactions (well excluding family) and to be honest I don't like heading out in my home town as I find its always filled with scumbag's and don't like coming home to my parents house.

    I did the exact same thing last year but with just a different girl and I ended up just stalking her on bebo/facebook which is something I am not proud of but there was a big difference as I actually got talking to that girl as she was a friends of one my team mates.

    Some of you's might say look up that pick up artist but realistically I don't see myself ever been able to approach a random stranger in a club/pub though in saying that I've no problem doing it to lads, its only when its women that I start to over think everything and how I would look to them thus resulting in me not doing doing anything as god forbid that I actually succeed.

    Like I could always drop my standards but I don't think that would do anyone any good, I want to be with a girl because I am attracted to them not just because I want a score and to show off to my mates.

    I don't do myself any favours as when something like this happens I just kick myself and its does not help my confidence at all. Once my confidence is low I start being very crude to myself like saying to myself I am ugly and who in there right mind would think that I would be a good catch. Sometimes my sisters (or sometimes aunts etc) pick up on this low self-esteem and would try and pick me by saying stuff like "you are actually a very good looking young lad" and "you would be a great catch" but all this does is make me feel lower as I think to myself how pathetic I must be that family members can pick up on me being so low thus resulting in them trying to boost my self esteem.

    Thing is that not one of my friends would say that I would be this depressed about this as I am always described as a very happy person or what was said to me last night "the only person that I could actually get a long with". I am also described as a very unique person like in my style of clothes and very random with my decisions.

    This may sound stupid but I feel that if I had a girlfriend these problems would disappear but in the back of my mind I feel that they will never go away.


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,980 ✭✭✭Kevster


    Right dude, it's time for a complete overhaul of your life's philosophy. Firstly, you are not pathetic anymore and you willl not let anyone tell you how to live your life (except for me right now and others who may/may not reply). You can be a confidant person who can take setbacks in his stride. Secondly, view missed opportunities and mistakes as a chance to learn. Every bad thing that happens in or lives presents an opportunity to learn something.

    So, there are positives to be obtained from this 'girl' situation, but you just have to think about what they are.

    Kevin


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 460 ✭✭legend365


    You make it sound like girls are the be-all and end-all of life. No wonder your confidence is low if you rate it on how many girls you can get or how many opportunities you've had with them.

    I would be similiar in that i'm not one for going on the offensive when it comes to girls but thats just the way i am. You just gotta except it. If its ment to happen, it will.

    Focus on improving yourself(physical or mental) and confidence will follow.


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