Freaky Flatmate Stories

bandybanter

I always appreciate a good freaky flatmate story/situation!

I live with 3 guys in a house. 2 sound Irish lads and a weird polish guy.
Rarely see the polish guy, always locked up in his room. Only comes down to make microwave burgers or a dish made completely from onions. Always with the onions! Its his staple diet. He always has a large bag of onions in the press and it fcukin stinks! (i hate onions btw). Anyway his room is directly above the sittin room and all we hear day and night is the constant sound of moving furniture! I mean at ridiculous hours 4 or 5 in the mornin! He also claims to be one of europe's TOP Speed Reader instructors! :rolleyes:

I can just imagine how a class goes with him.

Picture a student sitting with book in hand trying to read while he is standing behind contantly slapping the table and shouting "FASTER, FASTER! READ FASTER!"

Please entertain me with some good stories!

easyeason3

During the week I had the misfortune of hearing my housemate riding his girlfriend in the sitting room even though he knew I was at home.

I also shared with a girl a few years ago who copied everything I said, did, bought. I could buy a new dress, she would buy it the next day. Cut & dyed her hair like mine & also tried to change her accent to sound like me. I would go on a night out & she would turn up & follow me for the rest of the night. She gave me the heebie jeebies.

Jimmy Bottlehead

Used to live with an African chap who would walk around wearing long johns, even if my girlfriend / friends were there. Damn his toned torso to Hades!

It was quite the contrast with the white long johns and the chocolate coloured skin

petes

easyeason3 wrote: »

I also shared with a girl a few years ago who copied everything I said, did, bought. I could buy a new dress, she would buy it the next day. Cut & dyed her hair like mine & also tried to change her accent to sound like me. I would go on a night out & she would turn up & follow me for the rest of the night. She gave me the heebie jeebies.

What is the name of that film?

easyeason3

Insurgent wrote: »

What is the name of that film?

I didn't have a pet for her to microwave/ boil.
I feel a bit bad about it now because there was obviously something wrong with her.

Dlite

Insurgent wrote: »

What is the name of that film?

Single white female?

bandybanter

easyeason3 wrote: »

During the week I had the misfortune of hearing my housemate riding his girlfriend in the sitting room even though he knew I was at home.

I would just say he wanted you to walk in and see where it leads from there! :eek:

IvyTheTerrible

bandybanter wrote: »

Please entertain me with some good stories!

Here:

http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055253986

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=60289580

Entertain yourself!

Aodan83

bandybanter wrote: »

I can just imagine how a class goes with him.

Picture a student sitting with book in hand trying to read while he is standing behind contantly slapping the table and shouting "FASTER, FASTER! READ FASTER!"

Please entertain me with some good stories!

I snorted tea on my keyboard. Funny stuff.

bandybanter

Aodan83 wrote: »

I snorted tea on my keyboard. Funny stuff.

Tea or cocaine?

kingtut

Aodan83 wrote: »

I snorted tea on my keyboard. Funny stuff.

Tea is nasty.

Aodan83

bandybanter wrote: »

Tea or cocaine?

Lets just say I don't use sugar.

zuroph

lived with a girl once who was a total tramp, used to bring a different guy home every time she went out. one night, she comes home polluted drunk with some guy and heads to her room. I hear them start to fool around then she runs out and starts throwing up in the bathroom. shes in there being violently ill for 5 minutes, still ur man is waiting in the bedroom, he can obviously hear it. she goes back in and they start up again straight away :eek:. another 2 minutes and she's out again throwing up. I eventually went in to him and said, "c'mon mate, its not happening tonight, i'll get u a blanket u can kip on the couch."

another night she brings home a guy, we meet them in the sitting room and ask who he is. he replies "you can call me random guy". GF takes girl aside to see if he's serious. Yip, he's decided not to tell her his name, or anything about him, and she thinks its funny and is stil going to ride him. now, i know what ur thinking, he's a hero, but ****in hell this guy is in my house, in my sitting room, with my stuff. silly skank. he was obviously doing it so he could brag to all his mates about the slapper he was with the night before.

She was away one week and said a mate of ours could use her bed. he woke covered in flea bites.

easyeason3

zuroph wrote: »

lived with a girl once who was a total tramp, used to bring a different guy home every time she went out. one night, she comes home polluted drunk with some guy and heads to her room. I hear them start to fool around then she runs out and starts throwing up in the bathroom. shes in there being violently ill for 5 minutes, still ur man is waiting in the bedroom, he can obviously hear it. she goes back in and they start up again straight away :eek:. another 2 minutes and she's out again throwing up. I eventually went in to him and said, "c'mon mate, its not happening tonight, i'll get u a blanket u can kip on the couch."

another night she brings home a guy, we meet them in the sitting room and ask who he is. he replies "you can call me random guy". GF takes girl aside to see if he's serious. Yip, he's decided not to tell her his name, or anything about him, and she thinks its funny and is stil going to ride him. now, i know what ur thinking, he's a hero, but ****in hell this guy is in my house, in my sitting room, with my stuff. silly skank. he was obviously doing it so he could brag to all his mates about the slapper he was with the night before.

She was away one week and said a mate of ours could use her bed. he woke covered in flea bites.

Classy lady.

Zillah

My current house is a bit messed up. I've only been here a month and I'm getting out in a few days. The landlady lives in one room, she's about 60 and is a child of the 60's hippy fad. She's gets stoned off her face every second day and drunk as often. She'll start up conversations that make no sense whatsoever to anyone but herself. I once had to carry her from outside the front door at 4AM (I was getting home from a night out) where she had essentially collapsed/passed out. Her 30 year old, World of Warcraft addict son lives in the basement and swings between hyper-giggle-conversations and ignoring everything in the world around him. There's also a Japanese chef who's renting a room like me but he never talks to anyone.

Best thing is, the mother really wants the son to move out and they will occasionally have over the top screaming matches and don't seem to care who else is in the house. Oh, and she'll occasionally play insanely loud reggae music on a system with a subwuffer so the beat shakes the neighbourhood.

Finally, one night I went down for a smoke out the back at like 3AM and found that the son had put a pot of something on the electric cooker at full power and then fallen asleep, leaving it there to melt onto the cooker for two hours. I had to pry it off because it was literally starting to melt.

In other news, the new house I'm moving into has three guys my age who are quite chilled, they skateboard, have a trampoline out the back and a black labrador that lives with them.

AnonoBoy

bandybanter wrote: »

I always appreciate a good freaky flatmate story/situation!

I live with 3 guys in a house. 2 sound Irish lads and a weird polish guy.
Rarely see the polish guy, always locked up in his room. Only comes down to make microwave burgers or a dish made completely from onions. Always with the onions! Its his staple diet. He always has a large bag of onions in the press and it fcukin stinks! (i hate onions btw). Anyway his room is directly above the sittin room and all we hear day and night is the constant sound of moving furniture! I mean at ridiculous hours 4 or 5 in the mornin! He also claims to be one of europe's TOP Speed Reader instructors! :rolleyes:

I can just imagine how a class goes with him.

Picture a student sitting with book in hand trying to read while he is standing behind contantly slapping the table and shouting "FASTER, FASTER! READ FASTER!"

Please entertain me with some good stories!

That's not that odd at all. He makes a dish you don't like and stays in his room a lot. Big deal.

Try harder OP. I demand real freakiness from threads on a Friday afternoon.

Sleipnir

Zillah wrote: »

My current house is a bit messed up. I've only been here a month and I'm getting out in a few days. The landlady lives in one room, she's about 60 and is a child of the 60's hippy fad. She's gets stoned off her face every second day and drunk as often. She'll start up conversations that make no sense whatsoever to anyone but herself. I once had to carry her from outside the front door at 4AM (I was getting home from a night out) where she had essentially collapsed/passed out. Her 30 year old, World of Warcraft addict son lives in the basement and swings between hyper-giggle-conversations and ignoring everything in the world around him. There's also a Japanese chef who's renting a room like me but he never talks to anyone.

Best thing is, the mother really wants the son to move out and they will occasionally have over the top screaming matches and don't seem to care who else is in the house. Oh, and she'll occasionally play insanely loud reggae music on a system with a subwuffer so the beat shakes the neighbourhood.

Finally, one night I went down for a smoke out the back at like 3AM and found that the son had put a pot of something on the electric cooker at full power and then fallen asleep, leaving it there to melt onto the cooker for two hours. I had to pry it off because it was literally starting to melt.

In other news, the new house I'm moving into has three guys my age who are quite chilled, they skateboard, have a trampoline out the back and a black labrador that lives with them.

You should write the novel. I'd buy it.

minidazzler

zuroph wrote: »

lived with a girl once who was a total tramp, used to bring a different guy home every time she went out. one night, she comes home polluted drunk with some guy and heads to her room. I hear them start to fool around then she runs out and starts throwing up in the bathroom. shes in there being violently ill for 5 minutes, still ur man is waiting in the bedroom, he can obviously hear it. she goes back in and they start up again straight away :eek:. another 2 minutes and she's out again throwing up. I eventually went in to him and said, "c'mon mate, its not happening tonight, i'll get u a blanket u can kip on the couch."

another night she brings home a guy, we meet them in the sitting room and ask who he is. he replies "you can call me random guy". GF takes girl aside to see if he's serious. Yip, he's decided not to tell her his name, or anything about him, and she thinks its funny and is stil going to ride him. now, i know what ur thinking, he's a hero, but ****in hell this guy is in my house, in my sitting room, with my stuff. silly skank. he was obviously doing it so he could brag to all his mates about the slapper he was with the night before.

She was away one week and said a mate of ours could use her bed. he woke covered in flea bites.

I demand her number, and/or address.

Zillah wrote: »

My current house is a bit messed up. I've only been here a month and I'm getting out in a few days. The landlady lives in one room, she's about 60 and is a child of the 60's hippy fad. She's gets stoned off her face every second day and drunk as often. She'll start up conversations that make no sense whatsoever to anyone but herself. I once had to carry her from outside the front door at 4AM (I was getting home from a night out) where she had essentially collapsed/passed out. Her 30 year old, World of Warcraft addict son lives in the basement and swings between hyper-giggle-conversations and ignoring everything in the world around him. There's also a Japanese chef who's renting a room like me but he never talks to anyone.

Best thing is, the mother really wants the son to move out and they will occasionally have over the top screaming matches and don't seem to care who else is in the house. Oh, and she'll occasionally play insanely loud reggae music on a system with a subwuffer so the beat shakes the neighbourhood.

Finally, one night I went down for a smoke out the back at like 3AM and found that the son had put a pot of something on the electric cooker at full power and then fallen asleep, leaving it there to melt onto the cooker for two hours. I had to pry it off because it was literally starting to melt.

In other news, the new house I'm moving into has three guys my age who are quite chilled, they skateboard, have a trampoline out the back and a black labrador that lives with them.

That lady sounds cool!! You should stay!!!

Slow Motion

I had a flat, mate! Used the spare, no problem!















*It's too warm to wear a coat, I'll just leave it here

IvyTheTerrible

Zillah wrote: »

My current house is a bit messed up. I've only been here a month and I'm getting out in a few days. The landlady lives in one room, she's about 60 and is a child of the 60's hippy fad. She's gets stoned off her face every second day and drunk as often. She'll start up conversations that make no sense whatsoever to anyone but herself. I once had to carry her from outside the front door at 4AM (I was getting home from a night out) where she had essentially collapsed/passed out. Her 30 year old, World of Warcraft addict son lives in the basement and swings between hyper-giggle-conversations and ignoring everything in the world around him. There's also a Japanese chef who's renting a room like me but he never talks to anyone.

Best thing is, the mother really wants the son to move out and they will occasionally have over the top screaming matches and don't seem to care who else is in the house. Oh, and she'll occasionally play insanely loud reggae music on a system with a subwuffer so the beat shakes the neighbourhood.

Finally, one night I went down for a smoke out the back at like 3AM and found that the son had put a pot of something on the electric cooker at full power and then fallen asleep, leaving it there to melt onto the cooker for two hours. I had to pry it off because it was literally starting to melt.

In other news, the new house I'm moving into has three guys my age who are quite chilled, they skateboard, have a trampoline out the back and a black labrador that lives with them.

I give it 2 months before you post in here with some freaky flatmate stories from your new gaff!

delllat

i used to live with a real filthy slapper,she wasnt even good looking but every night she went out she got twisted and brought home a differnt man to shag (5+ nights per week)

then she used to complain that men didnt take her seriously and ask my advice on what she could do about it

I came home more than once to find her getting drilled in the living room by random guys and they never called her again :rolleyes:

quite funny for everyone except her i suppose

i aint seen her for a few years now but shes probably still at it

renraw

I just posted stuf about housemates from hell in another thread. One robbed me blind and the other burned down my apartment:

http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055577365&page=2

Lets just say I will never share again!

YFlyer

zuroph wrote: »

lived with a girl once who was a total tramp, used to bring a different guy home every time she went out. one night, she comes home polluted drunk with some guy and heads to her room. I hear them start to fool around then she runs out and starts throwing up in the bathroom. shes in there being violently ill for 5 minutes, still ur man is waiting in the bedroom, he can obviously hear it. she goes back in and they start up again straight away :eek:. another 2 minutes and she's out again throwing up. I eventually went in to him and said, "c'mon mate, its not happening tonight, i'll get u a blanket u can kip on the couch."

another night she brings home a guy, we meet them in the sitting room and ask who he is. he replies "you can call me random guy". GF takes girl aside to see if he's serious. Yip, he's decided not to tell her his name, or anything about him, and she thinks its funny and is stil going to ride him. now, i know what ur thinking, he's a hero, but ****in hell this guy is in my house, in my sitting room, with my stuff. silly skank. he was obviously doing it so he could brag to all his mates about the slapper he was with the night before.

She was away one week and said a mate of ours could use her bed. he woke covered in flea bites.

I'm thinking of a girl in Limerick that is a twin.

conbhui

I lived with two complete slobs in Galway.
They were a girlfriend and boyfriend. Excuses for human beings.
They use to plant themselves on the couch all day, eat, eat , eat all day long and get pissed every night of the week. They smoked thousands of cigerettes and left butts of cigerettes in the ashtray on the couch just before bed. Rubbish everywhere and even maggots and rats in the backyard because of the rubbish.
I use to clean up alot but they would have the hosue in a mess five minutes later.
Oh and dont talk to me about the grease from the frying pan on every nob door in the kitchen.

I would love to show yee a picture of these two animals on bebo but I'm afraid i might get a ban.

K-9

Basements flatmates are cool, especially Austrian ones.

Sharpshooter

For Fritz sake!!!!

seanybiker

conbhui wrote: »

I lived with two complete slobs in Galway.
They were a girlfriend and boyfriend. Excuses for human beings.
They use to plant themselves on the couch all day, eat, eat , eat all day long and get pissed every night of the week. They smoked thousands of cigerettes and left butts of cigerettes in the ashtray on the couch just before bed. Rubbish everywhere and even maggots and rats in the backyard because of the rubbish.
I use to clean up alot but they would have the hosue in a mess five minutes later.
Oh and dont talk to me about the grease from the frying pan on every nob door in the kitchen.

I would love to show yee a picture of these two animals on bebo but I'm afraid i might get a ban.

Add me on bebo and i have a gander
Seanyboss.bebo.com