True and funny at the same time...

keano_afc

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when

your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.

5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a
calculator.

6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.

7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a
fire in your back garden.

10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.

12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your
teacher mum or dad.

18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the
first given opportunity.

19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way
through and then raced against the flush.

21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!

22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

24) You never ever run out of salt.

25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got
your hand or head stuck in something.

28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their
arm broken by a swan.

30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an
upturned plug.

31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard

32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood
specifically to stir paint with.

33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

34) Bricks are horrible to carry.

35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

littlebitdull

Except that I have - on more than one occasion - ran out of salt...

Podge2k7

Good stuff!

Beekay

keano_afc wrote: »

32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood
specifically to stir paint with.

I like this one the most!

Aodan83

keano_afc wrote: »

33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

My sister cried when this happened to her when she was 3. Only it wasn't my uncle, it was me...

Mahatma coat

I have made Cupasoup in a Bowl Tasted Weird

But conversley I dont have just one stick for stirrin paint, I have seperate sticks for each type of paint/varnish

cardio,shoot me

keano_afc wrote: »

5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a
calculator.

its 5318008 lool :P

Aodan83

cardio,shoot me wrote: »

its 5318008 lool :P

And I'm pretty sure everyone who used a calculator in school has done it, not just in the 80's.

Rikand

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when

your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

---

right there, lol!

Pal

36) oops. this is humour not AH so i cannot say that

KamiKazi

LOL Will Leahy read this whole list out on 2FM yesterday evening, maybe I'll get a job as a radio researcher.

Rainey.

hahahahaa love it!!:D

Bonkers_xOx

Legend!

cdb

keano_afc wrote: »

18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the
first given opportunity.

31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard

Brilliant

Oliverdog

Every sports bag you decide to clean out has a flat Mars Bar at the bottom.

unreggd

keano_afc wrote: »

30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an
upturned plug

Nay, that would have to be walking around barefoot on a cold mornin and clippin your toe off a door / furniture. Ouch!!

31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard

Defo! Hooers!!

35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

36) But you probably still eat it anyways