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How can I feel normal again?

  • 29-05-2009 02:03AM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭


    I don't even know where to really begin here.. I guess I'm just looking for advice on where to go and what to do.
    I'm 21 and for the past year or so I've seen a huge change in myself. I don't really want to be self-diagnosising but I'm wondering is it depression.

    When I wake up in the morning I'm usually ok, able to get out of bed and get some breakfast. Then it kind of registers that I have an entire day to get through and I just feel like I have no energy and I can't face the day. Getting myself ready and dressed can take up to an hour at times because I just can't focus and lose concentration so easily.
    Sometimes I would be in the middle of getting dressed and slip into a daze and before I know it 10 or 15 mins have gone by. The effort required just to pull a t-shirt over my head just seems overwhelming. I know how completely ridiculous this sounds, it's not a difficult thing to do and that's what I keep telling my self but it doesnt seem to help.

    It's the same with my studies, I have a big exam coming up and the amount of preparation I have done is laughable. I want to do it but I just don't have the concentration or energy to actually sit down and get it done. As well, with things like planning my day for example say I have to go to the bank, pick up some groceries etc I just get really stressed about how I'm going to actually do it.

    I find myself retreating more and more from seeing people and leaving the house is getting increasingly difficult. I just feel like such a loser, I don't have a huge amount of friends and find it hard to be around the ones that I do have, as I see them getting along great in life without any problems and that makes me feel even worse about the situation I'm in. I don't think people like me or particularly care if I'm around or not. When I do go out I feel so awkward and out of place even around my closest friends, so I'm finding that I'm starting to avoid social situations so as to avoid these feelings, its like a vicious circle. I've also cut out alcohol as I found it exaggerated my feelings of low self esteem.

    You're probably thinking cop on and stop feeling sorry for yourself, that's what I keep telling myself but I just can't shake it. I'm sorry if a lot of this doesn't make sense Im kind of rambled a bit it's hard to organise my thoughts.
    I just want to know what do you do and where do you go with something like this? I wouldn't know what to do. Do you go to the doctor and just tell them the above? I dont want to go to my GP as shes a family friend.. Or counselling? I really don't have the money to fork out for expensive counselling and the thought of group therapy meetings terrifies me.

    I'm sorry for the length of this Im a bit all over the place and just kind of clueless. I just want this to stop, I want to change and to be able to function properly on a day to day basis and not just float along through life just existing but not really living.

    Thank you


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    You are in college then go see the college dr and a lot of colleges have counseling services.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I am not in college, I am currently repeating my L.C maths exam as I need a pass in maths to get a course I want next year, so the option of a college doctor is not open to me at the moment. I am enquiring about what services and options there are as I really don't have a clue.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Change dr, really it's not that hard to do and tell your parents you want a dr who is not a family friend.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8 blueeyed


    I feel very down too. But it's a vicious circle the more you give into it the worse you will get. Try to set a routine of getting up early/ish and go for a long walk/cycle during the day... Sometimes being with friends does help even though you dont feel it at the time.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 74 ✭✭DaXiS


    I feel similar to the OP but maybe not quite as bad. I don't really have anything else to add, as I haven't solved it or anything. You are not alone though

    Doing the things I love and forcing myself to find motivation to do the things I don't is really all thats gotten me through the last 2 years(also 21, going into 4th year college)


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 460 ✭✭legend365


    I don't have a huge amount of friends and find it hard to be around the ones that I do have, as I see them getting along great in life without any problems and that makes me feel even worse about the situation I'm in.When I do go out I feel so awkward and out of place even around my closest friends, so I'm finding that I'm starting to avoid social situations so as to avoid these feelings, its like a vicious circle. I've also cut out alcohol as I found it exaggerated my feelings of low self esteem.

    I feel abit like this when im out with my closest mates. Not the most enjoyable experiance. Just expand out and try meet other people (work, join clubs, etc.). Have plenty of other mates were i can go out and not really care about anything.
    I don't think people like me or particularly care if I'm around or not.
    Again only feel like this with the close mates. I keep wondering to myself is it a type of arrogance. As if they should be glad im out with them or something. I just try and ignore it and it usually subsides.


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